BLOG 227: As time goes by

"Time - it roams wild like a lion till you tame it, only then can you own it like a pussy cat" 

My Dad 

Lets get something straight. I may be a historians daughter, I may know an awful lot about the past... but I am all for the progression of time. I hate nostalgia. Such sentimental crap absolutely always is never a reflection of what really happened in the past, and is absolutely always a reflection of the wistfulness of the purveyor.  

Time marches forward as does the direction of our feet, and whilst I firmly believe that being unaware of the past dooms one to repeat it. Time must progress, and progress is a forward motion. 

It is true that if you don't move with time you will become irrelevant One should make as much effort as possible to be aware of the time slot you are actually in and act accordingly. One should as much as possible be aware of the times ahead and prepare for them unless one desires to repeat the past. (Prepare = evolve and survive... anything else = dinosaur fate) 

                                                                                                   

However, time is something - rather like the domestic cat - that one owns in name only.  Just like a domestic cat doles out enough love to sustain a regular supply of food, time will dole out enough benefit for your ministrations to sustain you continually being attentive to it. We as people spend a great deal of time thinking about, talking about, planning and trying to maximise time but at the end of the day... it marches forward anyway. 

That said it amuses me greatly how people regularly and totally misunderstand time.  

One of the things that tickles me most is how people can invest time in trying to get positive outcomes from me when the route chosen is obviously the destined to total and utter apocalyptic failure. Why bother?...what a total waste of their time! I find it hilarious how puffy and outraged they become about how much time they have invested in these ventures. I always want to take them back in time to the moment when they conceived their plans and yell "SEE... NO ONE BUT YOU PUT YOU FORWARD FOR THIS TEXT BOOK FOOLS ERRAND". However, another thing about time is that traveling backways is certainly NEVER a real option.

The place where we waste the most time is in the way we treat each other. We hurl hours of our lives trying to make people feel a certain way so that they do a certain thing.... then end up frustrated, angry and suffering from a huge time deficit because that person "took your efforts the wrong way". (see how even in defeat you blame the other person for YOUR shortcomings). It may just be that you spent more  time trying to get them to do what you want rather than understanding what they are al1 about.
                                                                                                                                 

I could witter on about this ... but as is the JaxWorld tradition, I will cut to the chase by sharing with you my top five mismanagements of time where I am concerned. (I encourage you to jot down yours and make yours public too). Lets see if we can claw back some hours and spend them doing stuff we like instead!

So here goes: 

in at NO 5: "But Jax you simply MUST come, the whole team are going" 

Wanna waste hours of your time, piss me off and make me feel I do not have a valued voice? Keep on and on  and on at me to attend a work related social event. Any time I am with people I work with, it’s like I am AT at work. Like family members work colleagues are not chosen by me and forced togetherness or camaraderie just doesn’t form bonds. So is it desperately so hard to understand that I just don't really want to socialise outside of the paid for situation with 'everybody' if I have the choice.  

Besides on a work related social, whatever happens there simply doesn’t stay there; it comes back to work. And when I socialise... it's to relax, not to give ammo to people who like me about as much as I adore them!   

and at No 4: "Jax dinner is gonna be delayed" 

Wanna cause a small riot in your living room. Invite me to a dinner party and start cooking it when all the guests are assembled. BBQ's are a noble exception to this rule, you kind of know that watching your meal cook is part of the entertainment. However, being invited for dinner at 6 and then hold me hostage in your house with nothing more substantial than a bowl of monkey nuts while you fanny about in the kitchen till ten, all the name of 'fresh food' is just crap.Prepare earlier or ring for a take out - just feed me! 

Besides a dinner party is a party where DINNER is the key attraction. Having a dinner party with a ridiculously late meal is like going to the airport and boarding a ridiculously delayed flight - it throws every sequential arrangement out and leaves this guest with a particularly bad taste in her mouth.  

Rising through to No 3: "Here Jax listen to this" 

Wanna get me to like your fave new track? Then do not pull a wax sodden plug from your ear and ask me to listen to a tune on your personal music player. The joy of commuting in the technological age means that we no longer have to stare at the rolling suburbs giving way to the towers of the oligarchs. We can choose our own entertainments. You are listening to music and that is great and I am reading my Kindle which is a jolly good choice too. I will not roar at you, tell you my book is great and make you read a random chapter - so WHY do I have to listen to your music the moment you stumble across a great track? I'm not gonna do it so why waste your time. If you wanna share your music with me download it and send it to me to listen to when I want to. 

And while we are on the subject... . I love Public Enemy as much as anyone, but if your headphones can't handle 'Harder than you Think' on volume ten, turn your racket down a notch. We're on a train not at a rave. 

and at No. 2: "Jax, gimmee 5 minutes in the shower" 

What is it with men and showers? They go in claiming it'll take them just five minutes to wash the pits and freshen the crown jewels... but if you ever want to see time wasting away...wait till your average brit male  comes out again!!! HOW long does it take to wash a male body??? Sort it out fellas... time is your friend only if you manage it, get them pits and junk wet, soaped, rinsed … then GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM!!!! 

I don't get why it takes 5 times longer than is said to get them clean... I mean isn't the whole point of a shower that it is quicker than bath? A typical bath uses around 80 litres of water and a 5minute shower 30ltrs - but your typical Brit male uses 138ltrs just to emerge 23 minutes after going in slightly more fragrant but noticably sporting sopping wet (but unshampooed hair). This explains why  as soon as  I  hear "Give me 5 minutes for a quick shower"… I give them 5 minutes then I make other arrangements. 

Hard to shift at No1: "I just called to say I love you" 

Wanna listen to the dialing tone? Ring me at a stupid hour to tell me something that could have waited till I was more receptive -ie at an hour that is acceptable. Acceptable hours used to be something well known to everyone. You absolutely never telephoned a private address before 10am or after 9pm. It used to be a given that telephone calls outside these hours would disturb the household and therefore should be left for emergencies ONLY. 

I appreciate that since the advent of  the personal telephone there are seldom households to disturb as you are after only the owner of the mobile/cellular phone. However, 04.13 is not a hour when anyone is likely to have ME receptive to your ministrations no matter how powerful your drive to just hear my voice may be! 

Like I said at the start of this blog, Time must progress, and progress is a forward motion and I know we all  spend a great deal of time thinking about, talking about, planning and trying to maximise our time. One of the key ways to maximise your time is not to have a cookie-cutter fix all treatment for the people you know. Get to know the people around you, find out what truly presses their buttons and treat them accordingly. The amount of time you will save from not having to deal with the carnage that follows from rubbing people up the wrong way will truly make you a lion tamer when it comes to the ownership of time.

For those lucky readers who are a part of my life... scroll back re-read my top 5... yeah.... just think about what you can do with all those reclaimed carnage hours!

Salvador Dali clock shopping anybody?

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