BLOG 259 - Can you hear me at the back?

“http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpvgfmEU2Ck” 

As performed by the one the ONLY Don McMillian

It’s Friday afternoon. All you wanna do is go home. But oh no! The boss comes in and lets you know that as a special treat, there will be no work this afternoon… because Derek from Accounts is gonna train your department on the latest hoojamaflip process that will transform your departments function immeasurably. One by one you all trail into the training room. (Standard: no windows, no air, just a great view of Derek and his PowerPoint presentation).

Admit it… how long before you have switched off and start thinking about the weekend ahead?

Well the national average for a Friday afternoon training session - is 2.78 minutes.

That’s somewhere in between finding a chair and Derek’s opening gambit of Good Afternoon.

We’ve all been there… death by PowerPoint courtesy of one of our colleagues.

A question often asked regarding peer to peer training is “If your office was on fire would you call Derek from accounts?”  No of course you wouldn’t… you’d call the fire brigade cause they are the professionals and they know what they are doing.  Therefore when it comes to training wouldn’t it be wiser to leave it in the hands of a professional?

Most companies would say NO.

In these recessionary times, the temptation to save a few grand and have peer to peer training instead has been a very popular option. It’s a pity really because the temptation for the likes Derek from accounts is to spend all his preparation time on cramming irrelevant information into  his PowerPoint slides… and none on his delivery. And the reason why professional trainers get paid… is because of their delivery.

But it is what it is.

If Derek from accounts is going to stand up front and instruct is colleagues on the impact of the hoojamaflip process – there just will have to be a way of helping the poor chappy out. After all Derek is a shit hot accountant. No one is better at letting staff know the tax implications of employee incentives (employees share options, assets, personal private pensions, etc.) over a cup of coffee in the rec room. So why is it he just bores the crap out of us when having to so in a more formal setting? Well that would be because wonderful accountant that he is… he didn’t know about the 10 rules of peer to peer training.

So for all the Derek’s out there, who find that suddenly they have to do a bit of peer to peer training and are thinking “OH CRAP!!!” here they are:

  

Preparation is Key

When you’re delivering training to people that you already know on a topic you feel fairly comfortable with, there can be a temptation to ‘wing it’.  This is the surest way to fail. And by the way... preparation does not mean hundreds and hundreds of PowerPoint slides with ever more complex graphics and colours.

Ensuring that you spend time preparing properly is vital.  Firstly think through what you’re going to say and why.  

Take time to prepare a structure to how you intend to deliver the information.

Handouts if it will help with your delivery and think through the types of questions that are likely to arise and how you might answer them.  This way you won’t get caught off guard and you can focus on delivering the message you set out to rather than going around in circles, or getting flustered or frustrated.

Have Clear Aims

You’d never walk into an interview without a set of clear aims and objectives in mind.  Training your colleagues is no different.

Understand why you are here and share those aims with your colleagues.

Make sessions practical, tell a story, offer an interactive activity and always absolutely always have sweets.

If it’s a long session have regular ‘discussion’ breaks (with refreshments!).ABSOLUTELY NEVER to stand at the front with a PowerPoint and lecture (sitting down reading PowerPoint slides to a room is JUST as bad!)

Everyone in the training room should be working together towards a shared goal or vision as a department and by sharing goals at the beginning of the training session your colleagues will be able to work with you to make the session a success. 

Be Honest If You’re Nervous

Training your peers can be nerve-wracking.  This is nothing to be ashamed of.  

Often by sharing your feelings and making a light joke of it you can dispel some of the tension and ensure your colleagues help the session to run smoothly.

Use What You Know About Your Colleagues to Get Them Interested

One advantage of delivering training to a group of people you are familiar with is that you know what makes them tick. Use this to your advantage.  If Fred from marketing is a bit reserved but mad keen on cooking build a cookery analogy into your training session early on to get him on board.

Tailor What You’re Delivering to Make It as Relevant as Possible

You may be sharing learning from an external source and inevitably this training will have been designed to try to address the needs of departments different from yours.  However you’re in the position of knowing the unique challenges faced by you and your colleagues and you will fully understand those priorities.  So instead of sharing the exact information you were given, tailor your training session to highlight the most salient points which will best help your department move forwards.

Keep Sessions Short and Time Them Right

You’ll know from your old school/university experiences that after lunch is the very worst time as everyone has a full tummy and a tired mind!

But it’s likely that you’ll be delivering your session at a time when – if we’re absolutely honest – we know that people’s minds will be wandering to what they’re going to have for tea and what’s on the box tonight.  For this reason you’ll find that if training at this time your training is most effective if you can keep it short and sweet. 

If you have any control at all over when to deliver the session (if you are delivering as part of a training day) then the morning is always the best time.  

Keep To the Principles of Good Teaching

Talking about school you’ll know what used to make a lesson good or bad  - those the basics are exactly the same when teaching adults.  Learning is not a spectator sport it is interactive. No one has even learned much just sitting in classes listening , memorising, and spitting out answers. Don’t let this knowledge go out of the window just because the average age of the pupils has gone up a few decades!  Ensure you differentiate between learning by seeing, doing and listening, create opportunities for interaction and regularly review the application of the learning. 

Ask For Feedback and Act On It

The easiest way to deliver an even better session next time is to find out what your colleagues found good and not so good about this session.  So ask for honest feedback.  Your colleagues should respect your desire to learn and be happy to work with you. 

Offer Practical Advice That Can Be Used Right Away

There’s nothing worse than attending a dull training session which seems to go on forever and which has no impact on the way you do things.  Don’t fall into the trap of delivering a highly theoretical session.  Instead, use what you know about current priorities to help apply the learning in a practical context and ensure that everyone walks away with some really practical ideas that they can put into practice right away.  That way you can be assured that your session will have an impact.

Review the Impact Your Session Had

Keep track after a week, a month or even a quarter on how the session that you delivered has impacted on your colleagues’ practice. 

It’s really satisfying to find that you’ve managed to have a positive impact on the way that people are going about their job. 

However, if you find that your session didn’t have the lasting impact you’d hoped for then it might be time to take a step back and assess how you might improve things for next time.

Of course the only problem for our Derek is that he’ll be so ruddy awesome,  that he’ll gain rock star status with his colleagues…. and forget the due dates for tax and reports. So you’ll all be out of work!

Yep… best Derek never sees this and carries on droning on and on while pointing at every slide on the PowerPoint  - just in case you can’t see it at the back..

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BLOG 258- Mind the Gap!!!

“I’m a cougar apparently”

Sandra Dickinson on marrying Mark Osmond a year ago

I love a good come back. David Niven’s career was supposed to be over. However Otto Preminger cast him in the lead of the movie The Moon is Blue over the objections of studio executives. Niven went on to win the Golden Globe for his performance and the movie was Oscar nominated.

The movie (like many comedies of the period) was interested in the pressing moral and sexual issues of the day. What makes it more famous is that it delivered to popular culture a guideline to what age disparity between two people is acceptable in dating/romantic/intimate relationships. This piece of genius is the ‘Half your age plus seven’ rule. Some 50+ years after this ground breaking sex-comedy did its rounds on the silver screen: when the stars, the director, the accolades and the movie itself have slipped from the wider consciousness, the rule remains. Half your age - plus 7.

I think a chief reason why it has survived is that it does have some merit. Rather than societies general expectation that age differences within a relationship should be that the male be 3 years older than the female in all cases, this rule gives a varying scale based on age.

According to this rule, the age of the younger person should not be less than half the age of the older person plus seven years, so that (for example) no one older than 65 should be in a relationship with anyone younger than 39 and a half, no one older than 22 should be in a relationship with anyone younger than 18, and no one under 14 years of age should be in a relationship at all.

The premise of the rule is based on interests, needs and expectations. When you’re fairly young, it’s better to date people closer to your own age, as you have experienced much less of life, so you are best off with people very close to your age. As you get older, the gap in life experiences becomes less harsh so the age range increases.

Of course, it’s not a real "rule" in any sense of the word, as people may be able to get around it and have a good relationship.  It will always be ridiculous to think that in relationships, there are hard and fast rules. There are not. But the half your age plus 7 rule is something interesting to think about.

Typically sociologists point to a gender difference in expectations with age gap relationships (AGR).  A man who has a much younger partner will see it as a vindication of his masculinity and will expect some longevity in the relationship. Whereas a woman with a younger partner will recognise the relationship primarily as a great ego boost, but won't expect too much of it.

The age disparity outside of the ‘rule’ is typically met with some disdain in most western societies, and various derogatory terms for participants have arisen in the vernacular.  Sugar daddy, trophy wife, cougar/puma, toyboy, cradle snatcher, golddigger, dirty ol’ man. As these terms often imply there is a  socio-economic difference between the partners as well as the ages. Where it can be perceived that social elevation has been purchased via the sale of a partners youth, yet more scorn is poured.

Tina Turner recently married the man she has been dating for the last 27 years. No one could call that a fly by night relationship. The man she married had accumulated his own $50 billion fortune. No one could say he was after her money. But all the papers had to comment on was the 16 year age gap between them. Predictably she was called a cougar and he was referred to as a toy boy (at 57??!!!). Almost every headline read “What’s love got to do with it”.

It is assumed AGRs are not about love, and that another agenda is at play. It is assumed that a younger woman choosing a much older man will be after security. It will be assumed that for a younger man it's more likely to be about sex than power or influence. As both of these things are not constants it is assumed that when these desires are sated a relationship with an AGR outside of the rules will end.

Even where these assumptions are proved false and an AGR excess couple show longevity, they will be forced to confront the age differences. These may not matter at first, but rest assured they will when the gloss has worn off. When these relationships go long term some serious questions about the reality of a much older partner have to be answered.

Let’s use an example that not many women would say no to; George Clooney. Gorgeous George (as he is popularly known) tops just about every chart of male attractiveness, which isn’t bad considering this baby boomer was born way back in 1961! As a consequence he has the choice of the planet’s most attractive women and since his divorce back in 1993 he’s been dating most of them! It must be said that he is a stickler for the rules (where currently his significant other should be 33 at the youngest). But let’s just imagine…  No one would consider a 26 year old hooking up with George as unfortunate… especially if she managed to get him back down the aisle. 

Now then fast forward to Mrs Clooney reaching the same age as her husband is today… Can you do the maths? Yep Gorgeous George will be 78.  She’ll be in her prime at 52 while his health would require vigilistic attention. This is not to say that she would have suddenly become more of a carer that a wife – I am sure Mr Clooney will be as hot in 26 yrs as he has been every day till now – but his risks of heart disease, cancer, memory loss, bone deterioration and vision reduction would have increased notably. Forget having different cultural references as a problem - these are the grim realities of a Baby Boomer/Gen Y long term relationship.

Maybe that’s why you’ll never see George with Gen Y piece of totty on his arm.

That said, James Woods has no problem with ignoring the rules completely. Having split from his 26 year old partner of the last 6 years, 66 year old James debuted his new girlfriend Kristen Bauguess, 20, at the première of his new movie this summer.  Funny enough, the derogatory terms that could be used about a man dating a girl 46 years his junior were kind of thin on the ground.

But hey, who the hell is anyone to judge anyone else. As long as both parties are in a consensual relationship the ages of the parties involved really shouldn't be anyone else’s business. Age should be an indicator of experience but we shouldn't confuse experience, or lack of experience, with maturity. Age alone is not an indicator of maturity: We each mature physically, emotionally and intellectually at varying speeds. 

People finding people to love cannot be a bad thing. To have someone choose you and be prepared to stand up and say “This is my man” or “This is my woman” is  pretty awesome.

But you can’t deny it’s a fascinating sociological development, this whole AGR thing.

As someone who has done it herself my only advice is this. The key to AGRs is not to try to deny the difference, but not to get too hung up about it either. Couples should joke about it a lot, give each other space for their own age-cohort-related activities, and generally enjoy and respect each other as people, which is about as much as any of us have a right to ask from any relationship.   

Because, not all relationships last a lifetime. Same age relationships end too. It depends on the people and the level of commitment.Your mileage, of course, may vary.

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