BLOG 246: Who made it so

"In the Holocaust, Nazi's assumed compliance without challenge - an assumption indeed proved to be so. Monstrous acts are permitted not by acts of law but by the implied approval of silence"  LA Bell - Overcoming Racism [1995]

I grew up in Eltham, South East London.

It's a rather unspectacular upper working class suburb, put on the map primarily because Queen Elizabeth the First grew up in Eltham Palace which is just off our high street and that the town is edged by Oxleas Woods - Europe's oldest and largest urban woodland.

Twenty years ago today, something happened that changed everything not just for our rather insignificant leafy suburb, but for the whole desperately ignorant country in which we then lived. I say desperately ignorant not in a rude or dismissive way... just in a matter of fact way. Twenty years ago it was blithely said of the UK that we were an island for whom racism (or in fact any 'ism') was a footnote to a chequered history and that we were in more enlightened times...at last.

But we weren't.

While I sat round my parents house watching TV and talking crap.... two young intelligent boys ran for their lives less than 100 metres from my parents door.

While we sat behind our curtains blithely ignorant of the events that started at a bus stop where I embarked and disembarked so many times.... one of those boys fell to the pavement that carried the trace of my own footsteps.

He died.

He was stabbed to death by young men who sat in room that was walking distance from my parents house and planned how to kill anyone who had the same colour skin as he.

As I sat in my parents house, my sanctuary, my childhood home... Stephen Lawrence was killed by my neighbours, on my streets.

It was the third such murder, and it was assumed that justice would not prevail and that the usual cover up would take place  - after all racist attacks is just something non white people must put up with. But such assumptions did not take into account Stephen's mother. She fought like a lioness for justice for her son.  Justice that in many ways is still outstanding.

A seldom reported fact is that the people of Eltham acted to show support to the families affected by these outrageous murders and make clear that the perpetrators certainly did not act in OUR name. The town came out and sat in the streets holding candle light vigils. Flowers - even to this day- are anonymously left at the spot where Stephen Lawrence fell. And the many many churches of Eltham came together with the other faiths practised with in the area to present one united voice against the violence.

I was asked as the daughter of a Deacon of one those churches to write and deliver a prayer for unity following those events.

On April 22nd every year I take out that prayer and revisit it. Prayer has it power in being shared - so please take a quiet moment in your soul.... and join me:

A Prayer for unity

Dear Lord Jesus

Thank you for the gift of variety.

Thank you for the many different ways in which your presence in all things is shown to us.

Thank you for showing us the many different colours, shapes and actions in nature - the way a rose differs from a daisy in so many ways, and yet still belongs to the same family.

We especially thank you for our family - the family of man and for all of the variety within it.

Our differences are endless, our genders, our sizes, our colours, our cultures, our ages and our abilities and yet we all have one common purpose, to bring our many different voices to praise you.

We thank you Lord, for our many similarities, which make us all, no matter in which package we come in require security, love, happiness and to be valued.

We are grateful it is your hand that guides us towards satisfying these most human of needs, and pray that all your people throughout the world will be united in this knowledge.

We thank you for our strong and diverse community.

We praise you that for over four hundred years, brown, red, black, white and yellow have lived in this borough* alongside each other and have found their many different voices to honour you.

However Lord, there are those who have always sought to highlight our differences only to promote misunderstanding and create fear - in order to sanctify violence.

We pray for Northern Ireland**, Kosovo**, Zimbabwe** and so many other lands torn apart by seprartist philosophy.Nearer to home, we pray for the three local families whose members have been killed on our streets in racist attacks in recent years.

We ask you to bring comfort to all the families in their never ending grief - be they the ones around the world that we shall never know -

 - or the ones we do - the families of Roland Adams, Rohit Duggal and Stephen Lawrence.

Lord, make us all mindful that the evil in some men's hearts can make us forget that it was You who made us all different -

-and to hate each other for our differences is to hate He who made it so.

As we appreciate a rose for being a rose, and a daisy for being a daisy, may be all learn to appreciate each other for our differences and give praise to you for the variety that You have given us.

In Christ's name.

AMEN

REFERENCES (at the time prayer was written/delivered):

* LONDON BOROUGH OF GREENWICH: borough records show the following:

Sarah "a negress" buried in the borough 1602

Philip "a blackamore" baptised in the borough 1679

Samuell Sampson "an indian" buried in borough 1680

Richard Pady "a negro" Occupation: Ships Cook. Location: Lower Deptford - Baptised his children at St Nicholas Church 1720

First documented Irish settlement - 1850

First documented Italian settlement 1880

** SEPARATIST STRUGGLES/WARS late 1990s/early 2000.  

So much has changed in the last twenty years, and yet so little has changed also.

We are still to learn that it is not for us to pass sentence who lives and who dies.

We are still to learn that it is not for us to say who has more rights to this tiny island. 

(which face facts was uninhabited till some hunter gatherers from the middle east chopped the trees down some 500,000 years ago)

But I think it is clear to anyone thinking about the events of twenty years ago:

We have now learnt to NEVER underestimate a mother's love.

#RememberStephen

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BLOG 245: The Deep End

“Just because others are going off at the deep end – doesn't mean you have to join them there.” Louis-Ferdinand Céline   [Trifles for a Massacre 1937]

When it comes to the world of work it has come to my attention that those of us lucky enough to be employed during this beastly recession, have exactly the same problem. We are all time poor.

We’re all time poor because we DON’T work smarter. And by smarter I mean that we have no idea how to get the best out of each other and waste precious business time causing bad feeling in the work place.

But then we are all in a hurry… so who has the time to invest in fluffy people stuff eh? Okay short shrift may sting a little but hey... it's not like that can have any REAL effect on a business... surely?

Well.... um... YEAH....It does.

According to the British Chamber of Commerce (BCC) -  an average of 31 business hours per month is wasted on the rows, debates, meetings and discussions that follow someone totally demotivating a colleague or subordinate.

Oh and if you want to know what that is in money… here is the formula:

Number of persons in the meeting x Monthly average salary x Time = £wasted

I find it extraordinary that as adults in the workplace we have no idea how to impart information to each other contextually. I mean we MUST know how to do this our parents taught us this drill reading us a story before we slept nightly –  we KNOW that the imparting of information has a beginning a middle and an end.

Guess we’re not children any more… so we don’t need stories with beginning middle and ends. After all we work for your salary, bonuses and other financial gain…. Who needs all that psychobabble about treating people well… we all know what was meant. No offence taken… it’s not personal.... it’s business!

It’s quicker to just dive in at the deep end and just say what you want them to do.

For example: This week I've been working for a movie publication.  I’d previously done a piece on the standardisation of film projection speed (fps) and how it was the sound era that brought this about, so I was commissioned to do a follow up on how silent movies were shot on variable fps and how this effects restoration and viewing.

Gosh that makes me sound smart… but it’s not really all that. It’s a movie lover/writers dream to be able to combine passions and get paid… and I loved doing all the research for the previous article so threw myself into the new one with gusto. ANYWAY…..

The point is there were obviously some tweaks to be made. Okay writers are precious at editing time anyway, so you would imagine a publication would kind of know this... but I doubt anyone could come out of a dialogue feeling more under appreciated and actually ...really offended.

It appears the person speaking to me assumed that I knew by osmosis that she appreciates my work to date and would know she was simply asking if I could accommodate a tweak or two.

In fact what she ACTUALLY did was give a litany of “shits I hate”.

You see, if she employed the whole beginning middle and end theory… it might have gone like this:

Start at the beginning – set the scene: That article you submitted on restoring silent movies so that they run at the correct fps and don't appear unnaturally fast or slow...I think depending on if this one goes down as well as the previous one that we may do more in this thread…

Shift to the middle -  explain your position: but there are a few tweaks I’d like you to consider

Close at the end – state your case: You mentioned C4 were a great supporter of this concept mention of the support they gave to restoration in the 80s and 90s and organised screenings at large venues around the country could you add that they also ran the restored films in prime time on their own channel and look into if that series is available on youtube/dvd etc ?

Call me old fashioned but does that invite a better response than:

“Your article has a ruddy big hole in it – you don’t even mention the fact that C4 had prime time series showing restored silent movies…. Thing is when people read this they are gonna think that you haven’t a CLUE what you are talking about… you are gonna have to change it cause leaving that out makes the whole publication look BAD!!!!”

Yup – she went off at the deep end.

Apparently this is standard business practice – not just at that publication but across the business world. Apparently it takes time to put together a decent proposition, so it’s quicker to just dive in.

WHY???

It’s ridiculous …. All that happens a row.

Do you know how long it takes to say things properly – to talk to people in a positive way to engage a positive result? TWO MINUTES.

Do you know the cost to your business of the results of that two minute investment?  NO COST

In fact your business GAINS… not only will people do as you ask (according to BCC statistics 98.7% of employees when approached in this manor will acquiesces to requests made of them)… they actually work harder.

Well I don’t get it why this isn’t standard business practice. Not just at that publication but across the business world.

Sure, it’s up to the individual business to set its own culture but two minutes versus however long it takes to get someone back into work mode… I know what I’d choose.

I often heard it said that in business… TIME is money.

Then clearly if you want to save yourself 31 business hours per month: It may be an idea about the result you want before you open your mouth

... in fact as a general rule in life just:

THINK before you speak?

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BLOG 244: Scissor Sista

"I am undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair" Hillary Clinton

Have we all stopped talking about the fact Jessie J shaved her head now? Oh good. It's not like it was a surprise she had flagged it up a while back that she would shave her head for charity. Good on her. She can't do anything active to raise funds (she has a heart condition) - so bloody good show. 

However the who -ha was not about the five charities that will be gaining the money raised by the pop singers actions... most media was basically about a 23/4 year old girl not having tresses. Like the stuff sprouting out the top of your head is really something. 

Okay I am not going to be popular  for saying this... (especially if you have just splashed out a heap of cashola on  a very fashionable and very now cropped do).... but it kinda is. 

I think I know this better than most women. 

I lost all my hair few years back as a result of a chemical accident. Okay over time it came back and I now proudly sport hair on my nogging... but for a while there... I was a bald as a chicken egg. It is generally true that long hair represents femininity at it's most basic level and femininity has associations with such words as beauty or sexy.  

Lose all your hair overnight like I did... I assure you beauty and sexy are NOT words that will be used about you... not for the longest time... or if you can't wait ..not until the longest wig! 

Funny enough... with all that wailing and tooth nashing about hair... it never occurred to me that short hair was a destination. I wasn't going to settle for a pixie cut or a sleek bob. I wanted my hair back, like it was... Long.  

Short hair.... (told you I am not going to be popular for saying this)… the best I was ever gonna get was... "cute". And I didn't want to be cute after that trauma.  I just wanted to be female again 

Now, before the flamed torches appear at the end of the village (and I am dragged to be burnt as a witch for saying bad things about short hair): I would like to say that I have often had short hair and loved it. Jessie J has nothing on me when it comes to the shaved head. There was a time when I out sinead-ed  Sinead o'Connor. I used to be one of those gals where it was ALL about the earrings as there was barely a follicle to be tempted by the breeze! 

For me though short hair is something from my youth, (and maybe it's because there is nothing like having lost it all in a medial emergency to make you suddenly value your tresses but), I really don't think I am prepared to go cropped again. 

I quite like the fact that my current length exceeds the placement of my shoulders. 

But hell! ... a new conundrum arises... 

They do say that one should shorten ones hair as one ages... which means I am scheduled  (if not rather overdue) to lose at least 10 inches of hair.  

Rules are that once the candles are blown out on the 35th birthday cake, your locks should start to be age-appropriate. Longer than mid neck and you are subject to the ridicule of peers; chiding the arse of you for looking younger from the back than the front.  

I find this odd, as the same shorter haired peers seem to have expression-less brows when delivering this mandate... (Botox apparently IS age appropriate). 

Knowing that I have a rather confused equation between femininity and hair length going on in my head they come to me armed with "facts". Well one really! They each tell me that their husbands, lovers, boyfriends (or whatever this weeks fashionable term for significant other is) simply love the new age- appropriate look and adore their women cropped and stylish. 

Now THAT I find hard to believe. 

I put it to the test with my b/f. Best time to extract an honest answer from a man is to ask him something when he is watching sport. Sounds daft but thus distracted he never notices that he is walking into a trap and is more likely to utter the truth... all without taking his eyes from the screen! 

"Short hair. Sexy? Nah... makes a bird look more like the thing most blokes generally find least sexually attractive…us!... pass the pringles love" 

And there it is. 

They aren't the smartest of cookies bless em... especially when there are other men doing some endurance based exercise on the telly.... but out of the mouth of a pringle eating post-caveman, that's my factual evidence. Men are visually oriented, and like it or not, how we appear is a primary factor in what attracts them to us. What every hetrosexual guy wants... is something that visually does not pass for one of them. (Gosh they do aim high don't they!!!)

But seriously.... my hair length is bugger all to do with what a man wants. It's the piece of self expression that is mine in a way that very little else is. Over time my hair has been shaved, cropped, grown, bobbed, angled, asymmetrically cut, extended to the waist, braided, beaded, dreadlocked, blown-out, coloured, curled and straightened... and I don't recall once asking a mans permission.  

So I am damned if I will be giving into peer pressure either. The fact remains that my hair is still clambering over my shoulders whilst many of my friends are going crop crazy. 

Hair is the accessory that I don't put away. It's very personal to me.

 

So... yes, your pixie, bob, crop, cutie slice and textured clips all look faboo, and who knew your cheekbones could slice bread, and yes it has taken years off and yes your longer locks were aging and who the hell wants to look twenty only from the rear. I support you. 

But I will not join you as a scissor sista. 

Well... not this week anyhow. 

I think when something is forcibly taken from you, you learn a lesson in it's true value. I really don't care about what is age appropriate, I care it makes me happy to have stuff on me noggin I can curl or straighten or put in pony tail or bun or any other confection of coifiture delight. (So with you Hillary Clinton on that one!)

I'm not ready to let go just because someone else thinks I should. I'll be like one of those old Polynesian women with me hair down to the back of me knees when I'm ninety if the mood takes me. 

Or maybe not. 

Who knows? 

I guess I'LL be the first to know!

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