BLOG 252 - Playing God

“Contrary to what you've been hearing, historically science and religion have not been at odds. They've been partners in understanding God and His creation”  Stephen Crosby Author: Overcoming Performance-Based Religion

Is there anything more annoying than when someone chooses to put meaning to your words that you certainly never meant – plus they use what you’ve once said out of context to manipulate others ?

Happens far too often huh?

But nowhere does it happen as often as it does where people practice religion.  Give mankind a promise of life eternal after death and we start making everyone’s life miserable by demonising otherwise innocent activities and practises.

I just wonder sometimes if just 10% of the effort made by those who pose to be religious (and by this I mean ALL the religions not just Christian) were focused on the core tenets, if the world would be a better place. After all I can not see any one of the world’s great religions promoting anything other than spiritual enlightenment.

Somehow once in a religion we seem lose touch of the big picture and add a bunch of rules to our deity’s words that they didn't put there. So proud are we of following all our little rules better than anyone else we actually start thinking we are the holiest.

I am unfamiliar with the day to day ridiculousness of other religions that lose their way- but I am sure they are equally as bad so forgive me as I focus on just one.

I do know Christianity, and I often come across fellow Christians who feel they are earning God's favour by what they do or don't do, and in the process nullify the gospel and make it look like Christ died for nothing because they can get there on their own by being super great at following the little rules better than anyone else.

I find it abhorrent that a religion based on faith working through love, can so often totally misrepresented by people wishing to approve or condemn others and play at being God. But let’s face fact all the major religions seem to have attracted folk who totally ignore the heart of their faith and concentrate solely upon the discipline of adherence to various rigorous and restrictive practices.

People who pose as Christian but ignore the tenet “A new commandment I give unto you, is to love one another as I have loved you” shock me daily.  Instead of ensuring that the blessings of a nice life be paid forward to others less fortunate – they spend their time and funds promoting prohibitions against theatre, movies, dancing, playing cards, interracial or same sex marriage or mixed bathing or trying to get the figurative or allegorical references in the bible to replace scientific teachings in schools.  

Why? you may ask. Because it's easier to sit in judgement of other peoples lives than be the judge of your own. Because it is easier to take a short cut... to have the tick box exercise . So what if its bending the rules by not focusing on living with compassion and open heartedness and focusing instead on fish on friday or sexual purity.

I am sure that the path to God’s favour is not smoothed by such additions to God’s word.  I am sure being super great and super proud of your own ability to manipulate others to follow man prohibitions by misquoting out of context the Bible does little more than turn a would be Christian into a Pharisee, Sadducee, Scribe, Judaiser,  or Nicolaitan.  And for those readers who aren’t Christian… those sects were more obsessed with their take on things than their Gods.

Which is the point of this piece. No religion has at its heart rules about making everyone’s life miserable by demonising each other for not maintaining the best list of adhered to practices. At their core each is about making our journeys through this life deeply meaningful.

We all – no matter which religion - need to get back to basics and stop it with the playing God.

The JaxWorld Blog can be followed on Twitter-@JaxWorldBlog

Or you can join over 10,000 fans of The JaxWorld Blog onFacebook http://www.facebook.com/The.JaxWorld.Blog

Thanks for continuing to vote for JaxWorld as the Best Blog about Stuff and for ALL your support that has made this blog such a huge success

BLOG 251 - Calm Down Calm Down!

“Anxiety's like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you very far.” 

Jodi Picoult (author Sing you home)

Talking about stuff is the least natural human reaction… which is odd as talking is that thing we humans are most proud of. Communicating is what puts us one step above the primates. The most normal reaction is of course fight or flight. We are wired to process information and either go to war to secure our positions or run away to secure our safety.

Considering fight or flight is nature’s idea of how to solve conflict….I can’t recall much in my life that has ever been cured by fight or flight. 

One thing I note about conflict (myself anyway) is the inordinate amount of stratagising that goes on in my head when I am in this mode. I think the correct term is  ‘Mind Chatter’. Which is a thankfully short summation of the endless, restless stream of incomplete thoughts, anxieties and self-talk which constantly pulses through my mind when I’m processing a conflict situation. I suppose I am processing possible threats, dangers, solutions and explanations. It’s a ruddy tiring process trying to decide whether to stay and fight or leave and take flight - all that anxiety! Thus is comes as no surprise that I am pretty pants at conflict. I go out of my way to avoid it as - whatever reaction is called for be it fight or flight – it  is all rather draining.

This may be why I seldom act first, and usually wait for the other party make their move. In this circumstance I of course go into fight mode and the outcomes that result of that are pretty clear. Unfortunately, good clean fights are rare. What usually happens is that they don’t make their move. They clam up…. so I get paranoid. Which of course makes me act crazy…Which of course makes the other party clam up even more. Which leads to a tactical withdrawal (flight mode). And the outcomes are now very muddy as flight is followed by passive aggressive sniping from both parties.

 Thus (ultimately) all my onward steps have been negotiated – however if I am honest it’s usually a long road to get to the peace talks. Passive aggressive sniping can go on for years, decades… until a third party comes in demanding conflict resolution… and the talks are forced upon all parties for the greater good.

Yup…. Conflict is a LOT of work… and frankly I am much too lazy. So I'm delighted to have been looking into ways of managing the  fight or flight drive. With the power invested in the InterWeb, I was pretty sure there would be an easy 3 step plan to keep this anxiety and it's co-horts at bay.

Imagine my disappointment!  I swear the internet is full of quacks who simply say the words yoga and massage any old time someone says anything remotely stress related. (FYI… the breathing exercises that are also recommended quite simply do not work… once in fight or flight mode you are full of adrenaline…. The breathing exercises just convert this to a full on panic attack!)

However, I did find that the following things do actually quieten the mind and seems to turn that darn mind chatter down…making the importance of fighting or fleeing seeming less crucial, which in turn reduces the stress.

·         *Go for a 10-15 minute walk in comfortable shoes (honestly …tried this in very pretty high heeled wedges and the total effect was lost!). Lightly swing your arms, feel yourself breathe in and out slowly and evenly. Padding about the neighbourhood like this does wonders to get you down from the highs of anxiousness.

·         *Put on some music and either sing a long or dance – preferably both. (there is a lost of truth in the old hippy adeage, sing like no one is listening and dance like no one can see you). Do not hold back give it your all and throw yourself into the music

·         *Find a short term project that can bring on a change. (And Yes…this IS gonna sound like something your mother would have shouted at your teenage self to do) Go to your room  tidy your sweater drawer or index your old cds!  Yes I am aware that does sound NUTS … but honestly doing so gives you a quick practical demonstration of your power to control your own environment.

·        * Immerse yourself in hot water as soon as possible. Not only does bathtime unlock the tension in stressed out muscles it turns mind-chatter down from a constant  loud roar to very dull whisper

I can’t claim any of this will work for you… [yet who knows you may be the yoga /massage person the internet is just crying out to assist].  But if you are not that person and you do have the tell-tale anxiety creeping up on you: your head is full of thoughts and you are desperately trying to decide whether this is a battle to fight or flee, you’ll need to find a peaceful corner in your head. I can certainly recommend any of those four things. And if you are just seeking a little oblivion from whatever it is that is stressing you out>>>>I was amazed how rearranging my room, followed by a 15 minute walk, a hot bath and a disco for one… simply tuckered this gal out!

Of course the simplest way to resolve the issue of fight or flight is to talk it through with the effected parties. What makes us different from the other critters is our ability to talk about stuff. Unfortunately that all rather depends on having someone receptive on the other end of that dialogue to help us overcome the urge to just draw a kill zone around ourselves, or retreat till all that remains is the dust of our footsteps. 

The JaxWorld Blog can be followed on Twitter-@JaxWorldBlog

Or you can join over 10,000 fans of The JaxWorld Blog onFacebook http://www.facebook.com/The.JaxWorld.Blog

Thanks for continuing to vote for JaxWorld as the Best Blog about Stuff and for ALL your support that has made this blog such a huge success

BLOG 250 - Rocket Science

"What you DO speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say”

- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 –1882) American essayist/ lecturer/poet

One of my freelance gigs is to captain the blog of an institute that those involved with the resources of the human nature tend to join.

A constant debate is what is the most important element that is present in all organisations… and once identified, how much does it cost to get some. Everybody wants to be part of a success story. As entertaining as tales of how you survived working for the business equivalent of the SS Titanic may be, everyone would much rather be a cog in the wheel of success.

Over the years I’ve been captaining the blog, the conclusion is always the same: It is High morale that impacts on every facet of your organisation’s overall effectiveness. Without high morale the feeling of success will always elude your organisation no matter what incentives are in place. It is without any shadow of a doubt the  cornerstone of any successful organisation.

It strikes me as odd that once we attach our business heads and set out from our homes we completely forget this. After all we run our private lives entirely by this ethos. We would all die sad and alone if we did not know how to create, maintain and continue to build it with the persons in our domestic lives.

We all instinctively lead by example in our private lives. We are often cash rich but time poor these days so we know in our private lives we have to exhibit self-honesty to maintain trust. In our private lives we make our word our bond, only committing to the things we actually have time for.

In our private lives we have the ability to respond ably to any situation. We hold ourselves accountable to the actions we do. If for example in our private lives we find our bins were not collected after the bank holiday, we seldom find it an acceptable course of action to blame the council for changing the day – we would blame ourselves for not being on top of the amendment to the schedule.

Who could possibly run their own private lives without integrity! We all know that we can spot fakery a mile away, if you do things that are aligned with your beliefs and your core values you come over congruous and sincere.  To thine own self be true and others (especially when they are absent) WILL be more inclined to reciprocate in kind. We all know this.

.

Which of course leads to the thing that even the best con-man can’t fake: Trust. In our private lives we follow through courses of action that feel right… we never buy into perfectionism, we know we have to have trust in the people around us. We do not spend 24/7 with the persons in our private lives so we must trust in our confidence in them (otherwise why the HELL are they even in our personal lives!!!)

And of course the big one. In our personal lives we ACKNOWLEDGE the small stuff. Things fall apart because the small stuff is not attended to. In our personal lives we say thank you for the smallest of deeds because these are the things that wound most when NOT attended to.

.

Of course in our personal lives we take risks. Every day in order to progress, be creative or even just grow we go with the unknown… and we accept the consequences. In our private lives we know without risk we stagnate, we become stunted and above all we learn nothing.   

Who could operate a private life without listening??! All human society functions on the ability to listen , not only to others but also to our own higher-selves and  purpose.  In our private lives we listen to our emotions as well as our thought. We gather through the years trust with our intuition. This is why we value experience. But we also value ourselves for who and what we are right now. We encourage others in our private lives to do so also . We teach our children not to seek the approval of others, but to seek the approval of themselves. In our private lives we know that this is the only way that self-motivation can become intrinsic.

Which is why having a quiet sense of self respect in everything you do is something we all do in our private lives.  . When I redecorated my dining room I rewarded myself at the completion of every wall (four pairs of shoes in the end!). But that’s the thing…. What’s the point of high morale when the jobs over… incremental rewards every step of the way! We are all used to rewarding ourselves for tasks well done, irrespective of the significance of that task, because that is how we keep our private lives joyous.

In our private lives we know high morale and self-esteem are contagious. But we know as the C>E>O of our own lives that it begins with us. In the final analysis, honesty begets honesty, respect begets respect and trust begets trust. As managers of our own live we don’t just manage – we lead.

And yet… as I said at the opening of this article…. As captain of the institute’s blog I have over the past few years adjudicated this debate about workplace morale OVER and OVER and OVER again.

It strikes me as odd as at work as at home….we are simply dealing with people.

IT’S THE SAME DAMN RULES!!!!!

You want high morale???

Stop thinking of your staff as your staff and START thinking of them as your PEOPLE.

Then act accordingly.

It’s not rocket science…. Is it?

!

The JaxWorld Blog can be followed on Twitter-@JaxWorldBlog

Or you can join over 10,000 fans of The JaxWorld Blog onFacebook http://www.facebook.com/The.JaxWorld.Blog

Thanks for continuing to vote for JaxWorld as the Best Blog about Stuff and for ALL your support that has made this blog such a huge success