BLOG 140: Bye Bye Baby

BYE BYE BABY

“If you have never been dismissed by your child...you have never been a parent” Bette Davis

It is an odd thing when you realise that the people who sacrificed the most for you, who will love you unconditionally , who are genuinely invested in your future, are the two people you least want to call for a chat. I'm talking about parents here... and if you are one of those people who call yours 5 times a day... then either stop reading Now or carry on reading for an insight into the world of the unrewarding child. For I am that child.

It's a terrible thing to play favourites. Good parents go out of their way not to favour one child over the other, making sure attention is doled out equally and that they never say to any of their offspring's face (at least) “You're my favourite”. It must be hard as one is either engaged with another human being or not... and sometimes offspring or not, a child can be pretty dull if you do not share the same perspective or interests. Never the less good parents cajole, advise, love and comfort all their children through babyhood, childhood, adolescence and into adulthood. However once the job is done many a parent finds themselves off their child favourite confidante list.

To lose intimacy with a child at this point must cause a deep grief – a sensation one does not expect to have for a living relative. But the reality for parents of grown up children who never call, who never invite their parents round, who somehow think of their parents as simply another chore is that the carefully nurtured relationship has died. All that remains is a faintly humiliating one way flow of love. I'm not saying that there is a big outstanding debt of love and the offspring are feckless and ungrateful... but I am saying that it's got to hurt.

It's a natural progression that the child will become an adult and go forward into the world and stand upright alone. It's a natural progression that is somewhat flagged up by nature by reducing the cute factor of any child on the run up to adolescence, then ensuring the mood swings of adolescence itself encourage a gradual letting go by even the most enamoured of parents. I doubt if there is much than can prepare a parent for the vacuum caused by an empty nest but it strikes me as odd that they didn't see it coming. Parenting ends with the child being able to fend for itself.

A parents job is to teach responsibility, decision-making and consequences of actions. The point is to provide a solid emotional, physical and educational foundation so that the child can get on with building a life. It's not entirely selfless... it's in a parent interest to let loose sound people into the future - after all it is those very people who will be in charge of making decisions for the parents final days.

So why is it that only 47% of grown adults actually get around to having meaningful relationships with their parents after they have flown the coup? Surely if responsibility has been instructed properly, surely if the relationship was warm and loving ...a change of location and the passing of years should not bring about an end to dialogue.

Ermmmmmmmmmmm.

Here lies the problem of this unrewarding child .

My parents were fantastic. My childhood was (eight occasions out of ten) pretty much the source of envy amongst my friends. I laughed more than I cried. I was never bored, I had more ex-curricular activities than most kids of my era... Saturday morning pictures, dance lessons, music lessons and ice-skating was our family sport. I went to sporting events, concerts (their taste and mine), toured around these beautiful islands ( I grew up before every man jack flew to the sun). Went to youth club, Girls Brigade, went away to camp and during the long long summer break was allowed to hang out with my mates with a freedom modern children would find hard to comprehend. Sure all this came with a long line of chores and expectation and I operated under a set of rules that made it clear my freedom would come to an abrupt halt should it impinge on anyone else's.

You would think having admitted my parents were fantastic and that they set me up well for adult life I would be on the phone ever 5 minutes since leaving home.

But I'm not.

And you know why? Because my parent's are my parents. They brought me up to have values I believed in and build for myself a life I could trust... a life that would make me happy. They really didn't give me any indication that a reward for their hard work should be anything more than me being happy in a life that I could trust.

So I need something I have built for myself that I can trust. To make all my parents hard work mean something. My Jobs never turned out to be for life. My long term relationships never turned out to be forever. Quite a few of the things I built since leaving home one by one/bit by bit have all crumbled to nothing. Not in a boo-hoo poor me kind of way, just in a "It's the modern world - go figure" kind of way. Abandonment is something my parents never had to deal with. They came from a world more stable in it's values and commitments. It is the curse of all parents to be equipping children for a world that they themselves have no knowledge of.

BUT something I did build was my friendships. These relationships have become my one constant- the family I chose,the family I built... the network of people I've created because of the values and strength my parents gave me.

So it seems entirely natural that I confide in them and NOT my parents. To discuss the variables of my life with my parents seems a huge betrayal...to let them view the incompleteness of their labours. Besides... that's what my friends are for. And if that makes me an unrewarding child then so be it.

To me my parents were the people who gave me solid foundations, who prepared me for life and adulthood. I was never prepared for the possibility of my parents becoming my friends.

I've always thought that the parent-child relationship was so special, so exclusive that being friends was the complete antipathy of it. They never really cared if I liked them or not, they were clear in their mission to prepare me for adulthood. Some of the decisions they took did not predisposes them to win any popularity contests. Even though I knew they were pretty interesting and had great back-stories before they were my parents – it was a little difficult to see them as people. They were my parents.

However it now appears it is de rigueur to be mates with your parents. It is not enough to vaguely be around your parents life - you have to be knee deep in it, and they yours. You should be socially interacting with them as you would your mates. Okay that is at the extreme end of the scale but at the very least you should be constantly checking in with news and requests for advice.

The very thought appals me. Call me old fashioned but I'd rather not divulge the minutia of how adulthood is working out for me with my parents. I just prefer to allow them the feeling that in this thing... they completed the job. To me this latest development would be like saying “Hey … hi...it's me, your number two offspring, well, you know that life you set me up for ,you know all the hours you worked so I could have dance classes and skating boots, the parent-teacher meetings so I could be put in the classes that would stretch me, the long drive to uni...well...it didn't QUITE work out... sorry about that now... either of you fancy that new club in town?”.

I may still be a work in progress and probably always will be … but they set me up to be able to build my own life...and to me that also includes my own support network.

So no...I don't go out dancing with my Dad. My Mother and I don't shop for shoes together. And no... I have no reason to call them 5 times a day with updates on my life. I have no desire to get more intimate with them than anything that occurred during the 18 years of them setting my moral compass. Decades have past since I left the parental home and I am now a parent myself. But not much has changed fundamentally. My Parents remain in the role of my parents, I cannot think of any upgrade on that role. It is an exclusive part only open to the two people who bore and raised me... anything else would be a downgrade in my eyes. My parents are not my mates.

In fact I would go as far as to say that the way I behave and communicate with my friends is completely different from the way I act and talk to my parents. I love them unconditionally, what they have done (and continue) to do for me is selfless in the extreme and I value our connection. I discharge my daughterly duties with love and enthusiasm... but at a respectful distance.

I'm all grown up now. I am lucky enough to have friends. And I'm lucky enough to still have parents.

And I am old enough to know there IS a difference.

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BLOG 139: Head in the Sand

“Collective fear stimulates herd instinct, and tends to produce ferocity toward those who are not regarded as members of the herd”. Bertrand Russell

This morning I discovered that I am prejudiced. I like to think of myself as liberally minded but NO. I'm prejudiced. If prejudiced means an adverse judgement or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts... then I am prejudiced. And you want to know who enlightened me... 36-year-old MP for Esher and Walton Mr Dominic Rabb. And I can tell you... I'm horrified! Look i best explain what happened.

This morning while doing my editorial duty... reading every newspaper while drinking copious cups of coffee and eating toast... I came across Dominic Rabb making pronouncements on the state of our nation's discrimination laws.It'savery odd thing when a tory starts campaigning for more discrimination laws - a very odd thing so it caught my eye.

For my readers who are not UK based a quick thumb nail of British Politics. We have three major parties. On the right the Conservative party (they used to be called The Tory Party and were established in 1678) In the middle we have the Liberal Democrats (they used to be called The Whigs and were also established in 1678). And on the left we have the Labour Party ( they used to be called The Fabian Society and were established in 1884). Crudely they represent: The Upper Classes, The Middle Classes and the Lower Classes... but that has all got a bit muddied since the Upper Classes lost their land, the Middle Classes lost their accents and the working classes got Plasma TV's. Okay...we're all up to speed? Good. I'll continue...

Lord bless the Conservative Party in the UK for giving British History some of its greatest moments of complete and utter loonacy... there is something about the extreme privledge that most of these people come from that allow them to come out with quotations that show a grip on reality up there with Marie Antoinette's suggestion that if the peasants have no bread then perhaps the should consume their cakes!

Our Dom... (yes, in a bid to get the illusive common touch Tory MP's follow their leader [David 'Dave' Cameron] by giving themselves working class abbreviations)... seemed to confuse having rights under legal protection with being able to take over. He failed to understand that the protect exisits because the prejudice is still there. Our Dom felt the granting of rights to women tookaway rights from men. He went as far as to criticise UK equalities chiefs for ignoring “flagrant discrimination” against the males of our nation, claiming that men were now getting a “raw deal” in many areas of life. He suggested that, like the feminists who burned their bras in the 1970s, men should start “burning their briefs” to draw attention to discrimination against men.

I kid you not he was being serious. He thinks men get such a raw deal in the modern world that their plight is akin to what women suffered before the campaigns of the 1960's and 1970's to move towards equality in pay and opportunity. He claimed men got a "raw deal" as they worked longer hours, died earlier but retired later than women - and that the population were blind to "some of the most flagrant" discrimination that poor men suffer these days. He doesn't think any moves in thses post feminist times have helped either. And if you don't believe me here is a direct quote from our Dom "Feminists are now amongst the most obnoxious bigots. You can't have it both ways. Either you believe in equality or you don't. If you buy into the whole Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus theory of gender difference – with all its pseudo science – you can't then complain about inequalities of outcome that flow both ways from those essentially sexist distinctions."

Okay...I spent a lot of time chortling with laughter. Did our Dom really believe that men are having such a hard time? Did he also really think that because someone reads “Men are from Mars....” that they are trying to do men down!(For heavens sake it is a relationship self-help book! The whole point of it was to make the genders be nicer to each other!) But then I read on and it became clear that Our Dom was thinking that all the serious issues regarding the limits on opportunity for women had gone. In fact Our Dom was not only promoting that argument he was promoting the argument that it was men who were were now in need of protection. So certain was Our Dom in his convictions that he was burning his Calvins and summoning his brothers to do the same!

I'd like to think Our Dom was just one more mad Tory, however... this ability to think that prejudice against women does not exist because of positive forward moves towards a more balanced frame of mind made me stop and think. What is it about small improvements that make us assume that prejudices have gone away, flipped the other way around or just reduced to the point that it's tantamount to fanning the flames to even think about any more.

Because lets get it straight … a prejudice is the act or state of holding unreasonable preconceived judgements or convictions. And kid yourself not there will be detriment or injury caused to a person by the holding of preconceived, unfavourable conviction of others.

Put in straight talking JaxWorld stylee... YOU WILL WOUND OTHERS IF YOU HAVE PREJUDICED IDEAS.

And I hate that... I hate the thought that I could judge prematurely or irrationally about a particular group of persons because I held an injurious and ill informed point of view.So, I thought I'd have a look to see if I was as informed as I thought about groups who suffer real discrimination and if by the passing of protective laws their problems had in fact gone away. Here are the big five... Gender, Race, Disability, Sexual Orientation and Religion.

Because each of these groups now have laws protecting them from prejudices do I , like OUR Dom hold opinions formed without knowledge of the facts regarding the level of prejudice these groups still have to deal with?

GENDER: UK Law protecting the populace from discrimination in this area came in in 1975 and made it illegal to refuse someone an opportunity because they have breasts and a uterus. In employment this meant providing they were qualified and the best candidate they should get the job and their pay should not reflect a difference betwenn them and a male doing the same role either. Of course the reality (though clearly not Our Dom's) is that jobs (esp at the top end) and opportunities still do not reflect the amount of women qualified to get them. On the employment front women earn twenty per cent less than men in the developed world. Globally the burnt of poverty in the developing world is borne by women. Sexism subtle and not so subtle is in play in society's worldwide which has led to broad negative generalisations about the capabilities of women. And yet Dominic Rabb said “despite the UK having some of the toughest anti-discrimination laws in the world, its society was often blind to flagrant discrimination against men". Sexism is very often still a one way reality as much as Our Dom does not wish to recognise it.

RACE: UK Law protecting the populace from discrimination in this area came in in 1976 and made it illegal to refuse someone on the basis that their race is different from yours. Of course the reality is that on the grounds of ethnic or national origins, colour or race, persons still find themselves barred from opportunities in housing, employment, education and social opportunity daily. Globally race and wealth disparities are glaringly obvious with the gap between rich and poor mirroring the difference in human complexion. Non-indigenous has become the new word for a darker hue in the UK as opportunity for those of 'non- indigenous' background is reduced by some 32.7% compared to identical candidates of 'indigenous background' according to government statistics.(According to the last census of a population of 60,587,300 it was recorded that 53,462,666 are white British or white other). And yet fear of swamping the indegenous peopleof the UK continues as Amy from Kent a female BNP voter from the 2010 UK election said “There is no difference between black and white in Britain any more, you can see that on my daily commute into London which accurately reflects the demographics of the population of the UK” Racism is very often still a one way reality as much as Our Amy does not wish to recognise it.

DISABILITY: UK Law protecting the populace from discrimination in this area came in in 1995 and made it illegal to refuse someone the basis that their physical or mental ability needs more support than yours. The whole 'Does he take sugar?' attitude of talking to the carer and ignoring the caree's desires has apparently been eradicated with a wealth of education about various impairments and the resources need to level the playing pitch. However on education 23% of disabled people have no qualifications compared to 9% of non disabled people and on employment of the 1.3 million disabled people in the UK who are available for and want to work only 50% of them are in work compared with 80% of the non disabled people who are available for and want to work. Though on mobility there has been a huge improvement with disabled access being at the forefront of design of everything from buses, to shopping malls, to offices. And yet Major Owens (a disabled ex-serviceman) comments “People didn't used to see a person with a disability who had to use a ramp or lift as people who have been given unnecessary privileges. But now people are saying, 'Why do we have to go to great expense for these people?” Ableism is still with us as much as our building regulations do not wish to reflect it.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: UK Law protecting the populace from discrimination in this area came in in 2003 and made it illegal to refuse someone on the basis that their sexual orientation is different from yours. Heterosexuality, Homosexuality, Bisexuality and Asexuality was left out of the United Nations Universal Declarations of Human Rights then it dawned on someone during a tea break in the British Camp that such an omission meant it would be legal for any one of the four groups to do something unspeakable to each other so the UK cobbled together some protection for her citizens. (Some tea break it took from 1946 to 2003!) Recent statistics still show disparities between opportunity to those who are open about any sexuality other than heterosexuality. And yet when the law was passed reservations about doing so were summed up by Lord Tebbit who said “ Protection in Law is about protecting the right to BE. The concerns expressed this evening are primarily about the right to practice sodomy which is about doing, not being” Homophobia is exclusive as much as Lord Tebbit clearly pointed out.

RELIGION: As with all things religious Laws to protect religous beliefs came in a cloud of controversy... The first real law came in to just one province (NORTHERN IRELAND) in 1969, then the rest of the UK in 2003 (cherry picking a few religions) then was updated in 2010 (to include a few more). The big problem is although we all know religious discrimination is valuing or treating a person or group differently because of what they do or do not believe it's hard to practice. Trouble is if you don't believe what the other person believes then your tenancy not to recognise it is a religion at all let alone being in need of protection. Hence in the UK if you believe in the various Christian, Jewish, Sikh, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, Jain, Rasta, Baha'i or Zoroaster faiths... then you are covered. Philosophical beliefs like Humanism are also covered. BUT... meanwhile there are groups who complain they are not on the list and suffer unspeakable discrimination because their faith is seen as different. For a quote only one Brit will do Bertrand Russell who died the year after the first law to promote religious tolerance was passed, he did not hold out much hope and said “Collective fear stimulates herd instinct, and tends to produce ferocity toward those who are not regarded as members of the herd”. With Islamaphobia rapidly becoming our nations new sport, not a lot has changed since Mr Russell pointed that out.

Funny how looking at the real picture suddenly informs your opinion.

When looking at the real picture I had a little trip to the National Office of Statistics home to all our National Censuses going back to the Doomsday book of 1086). Most polls you can afford not to trust, (I mean how many times have you been stopped and asked about YOUR bedroom habits or how often YOU do housework) – but the Census, we all know. We all take part. We know we can trust the results.

I noticed that I live in a country where 51% of the living population are female.

Is this the statistic that sent Our Dom over the edge feeling Women were everywhere about to overthrow his world? Is that extra 2% of females over males a threat to him. (Calm down Our Dom it's the over 65 band that shows the swell, it's those living longer women you were maning about!...and they aren't taking your jobs, your homes, your freedom!)

But joke about Our Dom I may, but when I looked at the statistics I realised that I'm prejudiced. Like Our Dom the real picture, if I was entirely honest does prejudice my idea of what is normal. Do I percieve people who falloutside the majority as a threat?

I live in a country where 90.94% of the living population are white.

I live in a country where 89.72% of the living population are able bodied.

I live in a country where 98.7% of the living population are heterosexual.

I live in a country where 71.6% of the living population are Christian.

To my horror, if I am entirely honest... it does. As educated as I am, as liberal as I am, as much as I know it is wrong this information feeds my view of the world. I make judgements about anyone who is NOT white, able bodied, heterosexual and Christian. If I'm entirely honest there is a nanosecond where someone almost has to prove that my adverse opinion of them(formed beforehand and without any knowledge or examination of their personal facts) needs adjusting. The majority rule... now they do not have to apply for that first level of approval... but every one else.... sorry there IS a nanosecond where they have to prove they confound my ill informed stereotype of the cateogory (ies) the don't subscribe to. Does this mean I am one of those awful bigots who make exceptions for the people they know but suspect everyone else who doesn't fit the majority profile - because they aren't part of the herd? Do you?

And if you think you don't ...ask yourself again and be honest this time.

Funny thing is I don't even tick all of those boxes myself! Just one look at me and you can see I don't. ..but if I am honest, which I am being I am guilty of submitting to prejuidice. I just had my head in the sand about it.

DAMN YOU Dominic Rabb MP... I hate it when in trying to prove someone is a complete ill informed idiot who needs to check his facts before shooting his mouth off... I discover that there is another who maybe needs to check hers.

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Blog 138: Deliciously Cheap!

"If you DON'T go in the kitchen you WON'T get burnt... But you WILL go hungry” Me to my son

Britain is a Do-It-Yourself crazed nation. Nothing counts as truly good unless we learn how to do it ourselves, and preferably in our own homes. We create guru's from people who are quite good at a skill- they are given hours of media time and deliver their broadcasters high viewing figures. Their books fly off the shelves as people clamour to learn exactly how to get the same results. Such is the power of a guru who will show you how to DIY that Governments will set policy by the recommendations of these people.

Delia Smith, Gary Rhodes, Rick Stein, Antony Worrall Thompson ,Phil Vickery, Ainsley Harriott, Gordon Ramsay, Clarissa Dickson-Wright, Nigella Lawson, Jamie Oliver and Heston Blumenthal. Heard of these people?Of course you have. Between them they clock up almost half our national TV schedule-and what are they?..they are people who can cook. TV Chefs if you like. ( I know that is what THEY prefer to be called.) And the hours and hours (and HOURS) of TV time they and their ilk take up has substainably changed the average Brits relationship with his kitchen.

The UK has always been sniffed at for its cooking skill. It was a nation known for it's ability to boil the living daylights out of anything. This has changed. Our greatest critics (the French) are coming to grips with the fact skills abound on the opposite side of the channel to them. Alain Ducasse, France’s most famous chef, declared London the gastronomic capital of the globe. He is not alone... Restaurant magazine declared the UK's Fat Duck restaurant is officially “The Best Restaurant In the World'. We can prepare a plate of grub here - and that's a fact.

So... if we've learned how to cook better to the point that even the French are applauding... we should be happy...Yeah?

Well actually... No.

Believe it or not even in the face of all this free DIY guru information on what to cook there has been a national decline in cooking ability. Oh and this is coupled with rising health problems caused by poor diet and lack of food preparation skills. Apparently despite all the information out there the vast majority of us Brits claim it is easier and often more cost efficient to buy cook-in sauces and ready meals(and here is the rub ...branded by the DIY Guru's off the telly) than it is to make the meal from scratch.

Despite knowing that packaged food is full of binding agents and things that generally are not good for us, despite watching hours and hours of how to cook a meal telly programmes.. your average Brit would rather get his or her sustainance from a packet or a jar!

When questioned further the top two reasons why come down to not having the correct cooking equipment and not having to hand the store cupboard essentials to which the addition of between 2 to 5 fresh ingredients will make a meal for up to four people at a fraction of a ready meal cost. Being healthy is often a goal set far in the future, but saving money is a here and now thing. Yet even in the face of the worst financial crisis this country has seen in donkey years... even the motivational thought of saving money is not luring the average brit from a jar of Ragu or a packet of Tecso Finest.

I know I would much rather reduce my grocery bill and have more cash left for fun things than hand it over to the supermarkets. I know my friends feel much the same with an average UK grocery bill of £80pw, we feel quite smug that we spend so much less but eat so well. We know it's down to the fact we make our own sauces, gravies, salad dressings and either make up recipes or copy what ever the latest TV chef is up to for our mains. I have to admit watching Gino D'Acampo has proven rather an enjoyable distraction(and not just for us girls!) And yet I also have friends who routinely claim no knowledge of how to make idiot proof dishes such as Fish-cakes, Cottage Pie, Beef Stir fry or Macaroni Cheese. I have even caught friends buying rotisserie chicken... claiming it is cheaper than doing it at home because they lack the equipment!

You know what... as most of my friends have kitchens that make estate agents [realtors to my American readers] drool- I wanted to see for myself how on earth this could be. Well... at a surface glance their kitchens looked well equipped... until you really looked at what these people had furnished them with. There were cappuccino machines... and garlic presses... and ice cream makers, and deep fat fryers, and sandwich makers, and salad spinners and espresso machines,... oh and George Foreman grills, apple corers, and electric carvers. One friend even had a set of Ginsu Knives (a terrible trend from the late seventies to mid eighties... no one knew what they were for but everybody bought them) so I suspect guilt on the part of his parents passing on that piece of toot.

It became clear that despite the best and shiniest equipment from the likes of DeLonghi, Krupp, Breville, Hobbs and ProCook... there was bugger all that would be useful to make a day-to-day meal. And don't start me on pots and pans.... it seems these days cookware is for show... hundreds of pounds spent on cooper bottomed monstrosities to hang from the ceiling... but not to put on the stove.

When I pointed this out, I was told that they had no idea what on earth you really need in a kitchen. Apparently their parents were in such haste to get rid of their Ginsu knives set... they forgot to pass this information on. So despite the current wealth of information on how to cook meals cheaply, healthily and quickly... this group ofmy friends have always lacked the ability to cook simply because they set up their kitchens wrong (in some cases decades ago) and cannot be asked to do it again because it will cost too much.

OH PHAAAFFF!!! What a rubbish excuse!

Look...its simple you need the following equipment to NEVER be caught in a recipe and find you can't complete the task. So here are less than 20 items, most of which you can pick up at the pound shop:

2 Saucepans. A small saucepan is great for boiling vegetables, eggs, potatoes. A larger one is useful if you are going to cook a soup or a huge stew.

Measuring Jug A large plastic measuring jug is not only useful for measuring liquids like water and stock, but can also be used as an impromptu mixing bowl for eggs.

2 Frying Pans Get a good non stick one with high sides to do every thing from a hangover cure brekkie to a stir fry and a thin-edged one that is perfect for pancakes and omelettes.

Sieve Perfect for getting rid of lumps and also doubles as a colander to drain water from pasta, vegetables and anything else that needs separating from liquid

Mixing Bowl I hate to advertise but Pyrex is the brand you want here as they are heatproof. Mix up stuff that ends up on your plate as anything from burgers to cakes.

Hand Held Blender Because food processors are stupid and bulky and blenders are quicker than going to the gym to get arms strong enough to smush food.

Chopping Board Maybe more than one so you don't cross-taminiate, but one will do to stop you chopping into the surfaces.

Potato Masher Mashes everything not just spuds!

Vegetable Peeler Unless you WANT to eat the skin on fruit and veg

Can Opener Some things are best in cans and not all cans are ring-pull... think ackees, fish, coconut milk, chopped tomatoes... not just beanz!

Grater Grating garlic, ginger, stale bread for breadcrumbs etc... not just cheese

Whisk Because there are many more interesting ways to strain your wrist than beating eggs

Spatula The best bit of plastic you will EVER buy... gets all the left overs out a mixing bowl!

Wooden Spoon These don't scratch the bottom of saucepans when stirring.

2 Knives A small one for when you don't need a huge knife to cut something – like cheese. And a Large one to chop herbs, meat, garlic, the works.

The next horror was the inside of my friends kitchen cupboards. It was like they have no idea what the meaning of the words DRY STORAGE are! What the hell people are doing with jars of celery seeds, lemon mint, pink pepper and saigon cinnamon I will never know! You need salt, you need pepper, you'll need a few herbs and spices... and (yes this is the UK so you'll defo need tommy ketchup and a bottle of HP sauce)... but if you don't know what it is for... put it in the bin. You need the space in your kitchen cupboards for REAL dry storage items that will go into REAL meals!

It's an easy shopping list,get em in. Top em up... they will never let you down!These are the basic items which will keep for ages and serve you well.

Basmati Rice: Our nations number one dish is curry but you'll also to make rice with bits and bobs in your fridge.
Canned Tomatoes: An absolute necessity to put in bolognese,soups, cottage pie...
Caster Sugar: Use itto sweeten everything from a cuppa to desserts.
Chicken/Vegetable Stock Cubes: It's endless what these are used for totally essential for gravy, soup,risottos etc... great for seasoning meat too
Coconut Milk: Amazing to have so you can look like Nigella turning boring food into Thai green curry, or coconut soup with chicken or prawns with little skill.
English Mustard: Not only to accompany food but to flavour it (amazing in mash spuds) and makes a great salad dressing
Garlic: Garlic will keep in a cupboard for 2–3 weeks.
Ginger: Gives a Thai/Asian feel to savoury dishes and gives a kick to booze and flavour to desserts.

Noodles: Egg and rice noodles, are great for stir fries and side dishes
Onions: A must must-have. Buy both red and white varieties; they have a shelf life of 2–3 weeks . Spring onions (when in season) give an exotic touch to any dish.
Pasta: A zillion delicious varieties, so don't just buy penne and spaghetti.
Plain Flour: Ideal for everyday baking and for thickening sauces and gravy
Ready-made Pizza Bases or pizza base sachets: Cheap home-made pizza need I say more?
Olive Oil: Not only for cooking with but is the basis of a zillion salad dressings.

Soy Sauce: Great for oriential cooking but also does the same job as tabasco or worcester sauce depending on measurement

Sunflower Oil: Great for frying, but also a drop in boiling water stops food sticking to the pan.
White Wine Vinegar: A must-have for salad dressings- just add olive oil and/or mustard.

There you go.

Problem solved.

If you have the right equipment and the right store cupboard essentials there ain't one meal, Heston, Nigella, Gordon or Jamie could come up with that you couldn't rustle up yourself. Most of the time you just have to buy a handful of fresh ingredients and voilà!

I can see no reason to waste money on ready done supermarket fayre if you have a kitchen at home. You've got an oven, you've got a hob and you've got a microwave... so use them! Just follow the recipe the telly taught you, use your pots, pans and store cupboard bits and you've put £20 a week BACK in your pocket... MINIMUM!

Cooking is EASY. It's actually fun. You get MORE food than you'll ever get in a supermarket ready meal. And the money you save by making your own dinner be it a pizza, a burger or a Thai Green Curry would be better and more satisfactorily spent down the pub.

And when you do... remember..mine's V&T with lime.

CHEERS!!!

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