"I am undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair" Hillary Clinton
Have we all stopped talking about the fact Jessie J shaved her head now? Oh good. It's not like it was a surprise she had flagged
it up a while back that she would shave her head for charity. Good on
her. She can't do anything active to raise funds (she has a heart
condition) - so bloody good show.
However
the who -ha was not about the five charities that will be gaining the money
raised by the pop singers actions... most media was basically about a 23/4 year old girl not having tresses. Like the stuff sprouting out the top of your head is really something.
Okay
I am not going to be popular for saying this... (especially if you
have just splashed out a heap of cashola on a very fashionable and
very now cropped do).... but it kinda is.
I think I know this better than most women.
I lost all my hair few years back as a result of a chemical accident. Okay over time it came back and I now proudly sport hair on my nogging... but for a while there... I was a bald as a chicken egg. It is generally true that long hair represents femininity at it's most basic level and femininity has associations with such words as beauty or sexy.
Lose
all your hair overnight like I did... I assure you beauty and sexy are
NOT words that will be used about you... not for the longest time... or
if you can't wait ..not until the longest wig!
Funny enough... with all that wailing and tooth nashing about hair... it never occurred to me that short hair was a destination. I wasn't going to settle for a pixie cut or a sleek bob. I wanted my hair back, like it was... Long.
Short hair.... (told you I am not going to be popular for saying this)… the best I was ever gonna get was... "cute". And I didn't want to be cute after that trauma. I just wanted to be female again
Now,
before the flamed torches appear at the end of the village (and I am
dragged to be burnt as a witch for saying bad things about short hair): I
would like to say that I have often had short hair and loved it. Jessie J has
nothing on me when it comes to the shaved head. There was a time when I
out sinead-ed Sinead o'Connor. I used to be one of those gals where it
was ALL about the earrings as there was barely a follicle to be tempted
by the breeze!
For me though short hair is something from my youth, (and maybe it's because there is nothing like having lost it all in a medial emergency to make you suddenly value your tresses but), I really don't think I am prepared to go cropped again.
I quite like the fact that my current length exceeds the placement of my shoulders.
But hell! ... a new conundrum arises...
They do say that one should shorten ones hair as one ages... which means I am scheduled (if not rather overdue) to lose at least 10 inches of hair.
Rules are that once the candles are blown out on the 35th birthday cake, your locks should start to be age-appropriate. Longer than mid neck and you are subject to the ridicule of peers; chiding the arse of you for looking younger from the back than the front.
I find this odd, as the same shorter haired peers seem to have expression-less brows when delivering this mandate... (Botox apparently IS age appropriate).
Knowing that I have a rather confused equation between femininity and hair length going on in my head they come to me armed with "facts". Well one really! They each tell me that their husbands, lovers, boyfriends (or whatever this weeks fashionable term for significant other is) simply love the new age- appropriate look and adore their women cropped and stylish.
Now THAT I find hard to believe.
I
put it to the test with my b/f. Best time to extract an honest answer from
a man is to ask him something when he is watching sport. Sounds daft
but thus distracted he never notices that he is walking into a trap and is more likely to utter the truth... all without taking his eyes from the screen!
"Short hair. Sexy? Nah... makes a bird look more like the thing most blokes generally find least sexually attractive…us!... pass the pringles love"
And there it is.
They
aren't the smartest of cookies bless em... especially when there are
other men doing some endurance based exercise on the telly.... but out
of the mouth of a pringle eating post-caveman, that's my factual evidence. Men are visually oriented, and like it or not, how we appear is a primary factor in what attracts them to us. What every hetrosexual guy wants... is something that visually does not pass for one of them. (Gosh they do aim high don't they!!!)
But seriously.... my hair length is bugger all to do with what a man wants. It's the piece of self expression that is mine in a way that very little else is. Over time my hair has been shaved, cropped,
grown, bobbed, angled, asymmetrically cut, extended to the waist,
braided, beaded, dreadlocked, blown-out, coloured, curled and straightened... and I don't recall once asking a mans permission.
So I am damned if I will be giving into peer pressure either. The fact remains that my hair is still clambering over my shoulders whilst many of my friends are going crop crazy.
Hair is the accessory that I don't put away. It's very personal to me.
So... yes, your pixie, bob, crop, cutie slice and textured clips all look faboo, and who knew your cheekbones could slice bread, and yes it has taken years off and yes your longer locks were aging and who the hell wants to look twenty only from the rear. I support you.
But I will not join you as a scissor sista.
Well... not this week anyhow.
I
think when something is forcibly taken from you, you learn a lesson in
it's true value. I really don't care about what is age appropriate, I
care it makes me happy to have stuff on me noggin I can curl or straighten or put in pony tail or bun or any other confection of coifiture delight. (So with you Hillary Clinton on that one!)
I'm not ready to let go just because someone else thinks I should. I'll be like one of those old Polynesian women with me hair down to the back of me knees when I'm ninety if the mood takes me.
Or maybe not.
Who knows?
I guess I'LL be the first to know!
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