"Sometimes you're not ready to see how things end...you just want to hold out hope a little longer" Frances "Frankie" Heck Voice of the middle-class, middle-aged, middle of the road woman
(loser to some)
Please God.
Please let today not be one of the many false starts since December 5th 2013. It would be too cruel if today was another of those...especially as the good vibe seems to have gone on for many an hour.
I woke up this morning at stupid oclock and it was sunny. I felt pretty panicky like I have every morning, due to the lack of sleep ( I can barely stay awake after 8.30pm and am unable to sleep between 1am- 5am). I do fall asleep again but awake violently with an out of control heart beat, cold sweats and respiratory issues while the clock still is around 6. I've come to accept morning panic attacks are my life now and seem to be no indication of whether it'll be a good or bad day. But sunshine is rare...especially in March. Sunshine was good. So I'll give that a win mark after all these weeks of rain.
And the good vibe continued when I got the boy out to school on time. (non parents it does not get easier as they get older...If you are a parent of a sixth former... you'll understand). Boy out to school on time was a definitive win.
Had to get ready to go and see a potential client regarding my indomitable copy-writing skills. Power shower worked, came out refreshed and managed to slip into one of those cute/sexy outfits that I forgot I owned. (Moving house is good - reveals items of clothing you forgot you owned). Fitting in a hot outfit years after you bought it and it still looks good was a win.
Went to meeting totally gelled with the client. WIN!
I was that chuffed that I went for a walk round the beautiful thing that is Leadenhall market (see pic) . Lol and behold I bumped into an old friend I have not seen for years! He walked me to London Bridge Station via the river which was all sparkly and sunny. Took loads of photos of the view like tourists! Being a tourist in your home town is a win.
Arranged to have lunch in Kent tomorrow with my long lost pal. Actually meeting someone from back in the day and still having a connection and no desire to toss them into the Thames is a win on any day.
Played with the new app on my phone (The ugly meter) - everyone on my train rated 20% good-looking. Not such a win but the joy it gave me means I can call that a win!
Popped into my local Tesco Metro on my way home and discovered they have reduced Merlot Reserve (Isla Negra) from £10.49 to £4.99 a bottle! Need I say it...WIN!
Got home son had cooked dinner.... oh WIN! (Okay no one need look at a kitchen after an 18yr old has made puff pastry... I'm sooooo not going in there today - or probably ever again).
And just now... client emailed.... we are ON!.... Copywriting gig secured (okay only short term - but that has to be a Win)
But best of all... it is nine minutes past six on a March evening and I haven't once been reduced to tears or melancholy about who has died or what has been lost. It's nine minutes past six and my mascara is in tact, I'm wearing a cute outfit, and I don't feel like I have a massive rock on my chest pinning me to the ground.
In fact apart from a panic attack this morning , and a ruddy annoying cat that won't stop meowing (she's disorientated because of the move) - all seems decidedly not awful in JaxWorld today.
So... 97 days, to get one that wasn't bad at all.
I think we can call that progress.
WIN!
Please God?
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