“Many women would rather just go out with the girls. They want to be able to dance with whomever they want to. They don't want to have to deal with a date getting jealous or have to worry about anything serious happening afterwards. ” Casey Smith
May 2010 will go down in the history of the west as the month when women all over the world just got the girls together and went out – manless and proud. It has been a time of girlfriends pondering over 4 variations of outfits, strapping on the heels, meeting up, downing cocktails and…. Sitting in the cinema?
YES… I did say sitting in the cinema… for a bum numbing 146 minutes!
Unless you died before Thursday just gone, you would know that the new Sex and the City film (SATC2) premiered in
The television series turned television as we knew it on its head, featuring as it did four independent female characters that explicitly set out to have sex like men did. The characters were primarily in their thirties with one "older woman" character – in telly land back then, anyone in her forties was heading for cardigan-land – and the whole thing made ground-breaking television. The writing was extemporary –
raucously witty, and touchingly poignant when least expected.
The major demographic watching the show was of course of female with a large sprinkle of gay men. Hetro-men were deeply unsettled by the whole thing. I recall my live-in boyfriend at the time pronouncing the whole thing dreadful and flouncing out of the room as he did not wish to pay witness to me polluting my brain with such “pathetic American propaganda”. Though propaganda for what?... that my collection of 75 shoes and gay best friends were permissible?!
But we all got sucked in to hearing Columnist Carries thoughts on relationships (which provided the theme of each episode), workaholic Miranda’s caustic wit, conservative
It was a phenomenon… women gathered in groups, dressed as their fave characters and went to see it in droves. It was the mandatory girls’ night out. WHY? SATC’s principal strength is its celebration of female friendship.
So when the next one, unimaginatively entitled Sex and the City 2, came out so we assembled the troupes and put on the glad rags and were back in the pictures. (BTW: The critics described the film as "Straining under a thinnest of plots… stretched to its limit by a seriously bloated running time” – and my numb bum agrees!) Two and a half hours of a thin rouse engineered to allow 4 girlfriends get way from their real lives and reengage with the persons they USED to be, before the world took its toil.
The film itself is a capsule of The Girls Night Out. SATC2 turned out to be exactly like catching up with old friends, giving their clothes the once-over and plunging back into the giddy world of talking about sex and relationships. Forget the kids, forget the men… it’s all about the GIRLS.
And the cinema was full of large groups of women using the film to do exactly that… have A Girls Night Out.
A Girls Night Out for the uninitiated is the night for grown women to leave it all behind! I think especially as you get older the importance of escaping the world that requires us to be everything to everyone else but yourself increases. I don’t know why but for most women, the stuff we take on life leaves us precious little time for being self-indulgent. It seems only on a Girls Night Out does it become possible to feel free, to say what you really think and feel without worrying about the reaction.
Of course it is all pretend… you are not really carefree and the night will end… but for those few hours you again become the person you were just a few years ago. The Girls Night Out is a time to let go of the regrets, worries and emotions that are tied to responsibility. It’s a time to immerse yourself in the wonderful camaraderie that only comes from other women in the same boat: Women who also feel exactly the same on the inside – even if the outside shows that we are all BIG girls now.
I have no idea why but there really seems to be an assumption by society that women who have partners or children are totally fulfilled in everyway by the experience. Women are expected to overcome by maternal instinct and selflessness without looking back. And the truth is very much that within the walls of our homes there is lots of stuff to in the plus column. However within the walls of our homes there is a vortex that sucks the sheer energy and out of the most caring person.
It is much the same in the workplace – that now we are in the workplace we are fulfilled intellectually and financially, so why on earth would be looking back to a time when we weren’t? And the truth is very much that the rewards of our careers has afforded us the status and material goods our mother’s generations could never have dreamt of. However within the confines of our chosen careers the same vortex sucks the sheer motivation out of even the most driven person.
And I know my inbox will be full of complaints about me publically admitting those facts – but come on… our home and work lives act as confining cages for the birds we used to be. And even thought those cages are beautiful…a gilded cage is still a confinement… and in common with most of the confined, it really is beneficial for caged birds to spread their wings once in a while. And while no woman in my group of friends would actually leave their real lives behind for any reason, a Girls Night Out gives them the chance to dream about what it would be like to be single again and participate in a life that is full of spur of the moment decisions and plans.
Most women live their lives on call to everyone in it. And quite frankly there is a point where you simply have written enough reports at work, wiped enough bums and noses and done enough dishes at home (to say nothing of propping up the ego with the same man so many times)… that The Girls Night Out is the only answer.
The Girls Night Out is the night to NOT talk about the kids, NOT to talk about the job. It’s the night to return to the classics of our bygone youth (big issues such as weighing up where we stand on the age old discussion of whether size does matter, deciding whether to go clubbing or grab a few bottles and head back en masse to a childfree/partnerfree house etc).
The importance of The Girls Night Out is about being able to just be you and be accepted for just that. It is about not having to hide the fact you are simply being able to relax. It is about not having anyone ask you anything, require assistance or touch you. The Girls Night Out is about spending time with people who know exactly how you feel without having to discuss all the depressing details.
More importantly it is also about finding your way back to that inner rock star that you used to let shine, feeling sexy again and letting go of expectations. So many men feel threatened by the effort us girls put into our appearance for a The Girls Night Out. “Just WHO is all that FOR??” They always seem to be asking! It never seems to satisfy them that the answer is quite simply “Me”.
The very act of getting dressed up for a night with the girls reminds you of how you used to be before it all got so serious… it’s fun. Looking in the mirror and see some semblance of the girl you used to be is just great. Getting the once over from your mates who sincerely compliment your efforts (knowing as you do exactly what they mean) is what it is all for… the boost of this alone makes The Girls Night Out valuable beyond rubies!
Look, I’ll be honest here… I hated SATC2. It was a dreadful film: arse to elbow in clichés and racial/ geographical stereotypes that made cringe and feel fearful for
I loved getting dressed up for The Girls Night Out that went with it.
I loved my new Miranda inspired asymmetric top. I loved the fact my black skinny jeans went with my bag (vintage don’t you know!). I loved the fact I clip clopped my way to meet the girls in my heels.
I loved the fact we met for cocktails in a bar first… and even was up for shots (though I usually have to be really drunk or totally forced to do this).
I loved the fact the cinema treated it as an event and had plenty of wine on hand. (I’ve never been allowed alcohol in the pictures before).
Most of all I loved the fact there were so many other groups of women doing ACTUALLY what we were doing…. Emulating the reunion of friends on the screen.
Yes without a doubt SATC2 is a terrible film. It came over as false, strained, regurgitated and puerile.
However… the event of SATC2 was bloody marvellous!
It gave us all the opportunity to get together, be raucous, silly and unforgivably girlie and take one night off from a life where we always choose others over our desires of life. It gave us one night of having fun without having to be checking the watch ready to run to the assistance of those in our lives.
The importance of girl’s night out is often not realised until the next day when you resume life after a night out with the girls. Judging by the amount of attention lavished on me this morning…. My Girls Night Out clearly gave the people in my life a night to remember that I am a person independent of them and that my needs, wants and desires are just as important as theirs are.
And for that Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha… Thank You.
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I read it and I have just this to say, its so true and I love love love love love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Its great how you linked the movie to the feeling of a night out. For once its good to be selfish and think of one self above others and we all need it. Cannot wait to the next title of the blog - here comes the gays :-).
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