BLOG 218: Where's Grose-vhen-oor Skaware?

"Be friendly to everyone. Those who deserve it the least need it the most". Bo Bennett 

Shopping is a private affair in England.  Mainly we do it on our own - but you can bring a friend or two if you like. But shopping is kind of invitation only. You wouldn't expect the whole of the second floor of Selfridges to turn around and approve your purchase.  However THAT is exactly what happened to me.  I was rather rattled I must say. I had to stop and check to see if I was still in the same country. 

If you live in England it's a simple three question procedure: 

1. Is Bruce Forsyth still presenting Strictly? 

2. Is everyone still convinced that Marks and Spencers Percy Pigs are the best sweetie ever? 

3. Does the world still stop for X Factor? 

If the answer is yes, yes and yes, then yup you are in dear old Blighty and nothing fundamental has changed. 

However, post summer Olympics things do seem a little different. People seem to be … what's the polite way of putting this... INVOLVED. 

Now I'm not ranting about this. Lord knows some days the British reserve get's right up my hooter and I wanna scream "For the love of Monkeys! WHAT will it take for you people to get amongst it!!!" But lately everyone at least in my fair city seems to want to chat, help, advise and even HUG! What on earth is going on? 

Eye-contact - the great British no-no seems to be everywhere. Folks are wandering about their business head high , catching your eye and smiling.  People are happily offering seats to you on the bus or train without you having to pretend you are pregnant or injured! Random conversations with total strangers are entered into willy-nilly and you can't hesitate in the street without some helpful soul approaching you ready to offer directions. It's all terribly lovely... but so not the England I'm used to. Correction - the London I'm used to (they've always been a bit 'Midsomer'  in the provinces). 

Yep - for a fortnight, London hosted the greatest show on Earth, did it our way (no pale facsimiles of Hollyweird Razzmatazz or the military precision of our eastern  neighbours)  - just a show of great organisation, fantastic hospitality and Brit-centric displays of what WE do best. When it ended, we all felt a little smug, a lot proud and a bit more....munificent. Yep, our city (which face facts, this time last year was on fire and hurling rocks at store windows) rose to the challenge, rebuilt a deprived area of town, spruced up a lot of areas that didn't even realise they were in need of a bit of attention, and opened not only it's doors but it's heart to the globe. We did good  - the world called us" the hosts with the mosts" and claim Our Olympics was the best ever. 

Usually in London, (and we are used to hosting a lot of folk for this event or that), once the gig is up... it's business as usual. We just go back to how things were before. Even after August 2011's extreme events - how did we know it was over? We opened our front doors and the atmosphere was back to normal, we didn't need the tv or radio to tell us... we were back to bustling about in our private spheres, doing our business and having to make a grand gesture to attract the attention of even those we know. Business as usual is what we do, whether it be Royal Weddings or Summer Riots - we just go back to normal the moment the event ceases.    

However - as my experience in Selfridges shows,  there are lingering remnants of the liberal attitude my co-city dwellers  fostered for the games. The games dragged us all in, so after a fortnight of hosting an extra 2 million visitors, there aren't too many of London's 8,174,100 regular residents  who haven't been  an active host even in the smallest way. And unlike  August 2011, rather than return to normal, we've deliberately let some of what has passed linger on. (Suppose we better as part two; the Paralympics, kick off in 7 days!) However despite the fact all the sporting venues are a hive of activity as they get refreshed in look, function and signage - life should have returned to normal since the main event ended. 

But instead, I try on a pair of shoes in the mecca that is the 2nd floor of the best shop on the planet... and everyone on the floor want to talk to me about them. Eye contact. Smiling. Uninvited dialogue.  And on at least two occasions... actual TOUCHING took place. 

Now these were not the usual parade of summer visitors to our city, no ...these were The 'just popping out' shopping office workers, The ladies who lunch, The up from the home counties to shop in town, basically -the parade of every day Brit that normally you would have to have under contract before you got even a peep from them!  

This NOT your routine London experience. Random people do not routinely pitch in to help me choose shoes for a forthcoming wedding! Most of the time you are hard pushed to get the attention of the Sales Assistant and she's being PAID to help! But … there I was, trying on shoes with complete strangers-whose accents declare them UK resident - offering unsolicited advice and assistance. Fabulous! (And I must say  -  the girl on her lunch break who was doing a pre-payday reckky, Thank you! I wouldn't not have even considered Nicholas Kirkwood, actually I had never heard of him!)  But hang on UNSOLICITED advice from complete strangers who are residents of the city? I thought I was in London,  I thought I was on Oxford Street... Okay, I started to panic!  - AM I STILL IN THE UK? 

To calm myself I did the three part character check: 

1. Yes- the new season of Strictly will be presented by Sir Bruce when it returns in Autumn 

2. Yes  - the nation is still obsessed with Marks and Spencers  Percy Pigs (Over £10million worth of sales per annum!) 

3. And okay not so many viewers tuned into X Factor on its return to TV last weekend, but it was STILL all people were talking about come Monday morning! 

Yep this is still Blighty!  

We are still a nation of contrary buggers! We still drink too much and smoke purely out of a misconceived solidarity to an oppressed minority! (We do NOT like to be TOLD, so banning things just makes us want to do it more) but we harangue the government to curb our excesses.  We still have a startling ignorance of other cultures and resort to Xenophobia at the first opportunity ("Oh American's are just too loud" , "I love France, it's just the French I can't stand", "Eastern Europeans work EVERY hour so we can't compete")  but we are so proud that over 300 languages and dialects are spoken in London as WE are the world most international city.  We love our open spaces but spend most of our time parked in front of our telly's in our  much loved living rooms (if an Englishman's home is his castle then his sofa is his throne!). And yes, we are friendly, humorous , hearty and a plain-speaking people while being physically repressed and very reserved (we know we're a difficult bunch of people to figure out.) 

However,  it is just a few days since we as a city of over 8 million souls got the opportunity to act like a small village for a while. 

Instead of bustling about, sighing deeply when a  visitor stands on the wrong side of the escalator and blocks traffic - we've learned to tap them gently on the shoulder, smile and show them pleasantly the error of their ways. We've learned (with some restraint) not to ask Americans to repeat the name of the Square their Embassy is in  - simply for our own amusement - but just give them directions  and send them happily on their way. We've learned to budge up on seating and nestle an unknown thigh beside ours so everyone gets to sit. We've stopped aiming our sights into the mid distance and actually met peoples glance and with a smile. We've even shared a Percy Pig or two with complete strangers when queuing feels more like just standing and letting time pass interminably.  

And in case you think that what happened in Selfridges was a one off... it so was not! 

Fact is Londoners have been chatting to strangers (wrapped in even stranger flags) and realised that even without a formal introduction, most folk are actually quite okay.  And we like what we've learned so it seems we just can't stop.  After the purchase,  I'm sitting on train chugging through the Sauff Lundin Suburbs on my way back to base with a lovely big yellow Selfridges bag next to me. I find myself smiling while stroking the bag  and bending the corner to look at the shoe box within. The lady seated across the aisle catches my eye. 

"Bin shopping love?" 

"Yeah - shoes for a wedding"  I hear myself say 

"Ooh! " She says "Can I see?"  

She moves over next  me and without thinking I produce the shoes. 

For the next 20 minutes we chat (never leaving the subject of the shoes but I received a fantastic tip about socks and hairdryers to make shoes comfy to wear at an all day wedding!). Then I disembark, wishing her a lovely day. No formal introductions, in fact we have no idea of each others names, I don't even know where she was travelling to (though her accent was similar to mine so I guess she's a local) and we never ONCE talked of the weather! Quite simply, she initiated a chat with a complete stranger who reciprocated  and a pleasant time was had by all.  I'm not complaining  - I got a great pair of hoofs and a great tip to ensure my trotters last the course! - but it is rather strange for London.  In the post Olympic rosy light, London has a  complete disregard for the perils of talking to strangers.

 

I have no idea if this after-glow will last much longer - we're not our cousins over the pond, we're not a gushy chatty people - especially to random strangers! But while it's on, it is rather lovely but I am relieved that some things have remained the same. 

Brucey WILL be  back in the autumn. M & S Percy Pigs are STILL the nations favourite... and WHAT the hell was that orange thing on the X Factor that can't talk properly?!    

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