BLOG 248 - I DON'T LIKE

A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song. ~Chinese Proverb

Just engaged an old habit – just to pass the time.  Ahhhh... best start at the begining with this one.

Yesterday I had the joy of chatting with fellow pen smiths Bondi and Mitchell about the joys of Karaoke. I happened to mention my one and only attempt at this activity…which ended in total unmitigated disaster. Which was hardly surprising as I cannot hold a tune! Bondi and Mitchell were keen to know the song that I mauled. (I think the duo were secretly hoping for a reprise of the fateful performance. – pah! Such hopes were crushed on the altar of “I think not”.) However I regailed the story of how LeAnn Rimes 2001 classic 'But I do love you' was moollered by my catawallering.

I do so wish I could sing.

The singing gene is sooo in the family (I have a popstar cousin no less!). But in our family this talent apparently skips generations. Same cousin’s dad sings like a warthog taking a bath. In my nuclear family that pattern is in reverse… my mother has the voice of an angel (I assume angels can sing?), she’s performed at The Royal Albert Hall. Whereas I upset the neighbourhood cats when I try. To rub salt n the wound my young niece sings like the young Charlotte Church.

It’s tres annoying.

However… I am not one to be put off getting involved with the wonders of music beacuse of a trite lack of talent and a generational curse. True, I cannot song write, I cannot sing, and I cannot play an instrument. But I don’t let such trivia put me off.

If you recall I began this blog with the fact that I have revisited a childhood pastime.

When I was a kid I used to amuse myself by rewriting the pop songs of the day - so they would be all about me. I’m sure other kids must have done the same but I’ve never found anyone who would admit to doing anything so dorky! (Damn my friends for being so cool from an early age).

Of course some songs lend themselves to this better than others. I doubt if I could make this week’s chart topper into a little ditty that would reveal much about me or my state of mind. This would be mainly because the lyrics seem to be focused on staying up all night to get lucky. Which I have to admit is a worthwhile pursuit if you have an itch to scratch and hells bells it is a catchy tune… but it does not QUITE lend itself to the exercise. You need something with what they used to call in the old days a melody.

I strongly recommend it…. Go on… find an old song…. And rewrite it….

And so… as clearly I will never be able to put my spin on performing Ms Rimes 2001 classic… I thought I’d put my spin on the lyrics in a way that I am better qualified to.

So here we are… Can’t sing a note… but somehow… I’ve made it  ALL ABOUT ME… (sorry LeAnn I love your version just fine… I just can’t sing a note of it)… I give you the song I would have wrote if I had talent:

I don’t like to sleep ear-ly at night

I don’t like to -be told I’m wrong when I’m right

I don’t like to economise on shoes

But I do love you

But I do love you

I don’t like to- let fools have their say

I don’t like when things aren’t going my way

I don’t like to be the last with the news

But I do love you

But I do love you

Love everything about the way that you love me

The way you look when I am being really quite dorky

And I love the way you look at me in the morning when you wake

[Heavens sake!]

I don’t like to have a background noise

I don’t like to always tip bell boys

I don’t like to -wait for holidays

But I do love you

But I do love you

Love the way you lie in bed upon your side

The way you get intense when you decide you will confide

And I love the way you take control when no one think you can or will

[still a thrill!]

I don’t like when people say “early doors”

I don’t like to leave undone half my chores

I don’t like to be at work and be bored

But I do love you

But I do love you

But I do love you

But I do love you

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