BLOG 192: Grow your own

“Fakery: that is not authentic or genuine; a sham.” Oxford concise dictionary

A hot discussion this week with my mates was the Facebook page “ I love the fake look”. This page is dedicated to the ignoble art of fakery in which enhancements upon what nature gave you are to be celebrated. I can only assume that this page sprung up as a reaction to such TV shows as “Snog Marry Avoid”, in which exponents of fake tan, fake nails, fake hair, fake eyelashes, fake boobs even fake teeth (!) are stripped back to reveal what actually lies beneath the layers and layers of fakery.

Despite the heated debate that sprung up about what is an enhancement and what is a cheat, one thing became clear – in Britain 2012... it’ll be quite a challenge to find any attractive person who is entirely that way because of nature. When you are aware of this you can't help but begin to see that fakery has become mainstream – and that of course means the norm.

Once I started to think about this I noticed something I had not particularly registered. A seismic change has taken place concerning what is retailed in my local high street. Time was the high street was the home of the butcher, the baker, (okay we never had a candlestick maker but you get the point). Now, 61% of the units are in the ‘health and beauty” sector.

The high street is now a Mecca for those who wish to have false nails affixed or hair extensions added or “no-sun-required” tans applied. My local high street is not a draw to people outside of the borough; therefore I can only surmise that of the 218,307 catchment... only a minority are wandering the streets exactly as nature intended.

I was not quite sure when it was that I became the only person I knew with nails that actually grow out of my fingers... but then I am sure I have friends who say they are not sure when they became the only person they knew who have hair that actually grows out of their head. As for skin tone...at my son’s school the predominant race is the nation of Orange – such is penchant for fake tan in my local area... even among the under 16’s.

Talking about the under 16’s... I am gob smacked (and slightly envious) of how at such young ages these girls can apply and wear false eyelashes with such aplomb. Last time I tried, they became detached and I had to rescue mine from my soup. But to the generations growing up they are par for the course... though I remain concerned about this quite adult eye enhancement being worn by children. [But what do I know... most of the girls seem to wear coloured contact lens too.. I am not the mother of a daughter so I'm not up to date on what discussions take place before it is okayed to alter the windows to your soul.] It may just be my age, but while I embrace experimentation with your looks – early teen years seem a little soon to give up on what nature gave you.

Mind you, I am probably talking from the do as I say not as I do book.

I’m not alone practically everyone over the age of majority is guilty of that one. While my mates and I sat vilifying the ‘I love fakery’ page, I had to notice not ONE of us leaves the house without some alteration to natures plan. Although this you would have never surmised from the conversation we had regarding fakery. In each of our own heads, have come to regard tampering with our exteriors as perfectly fine providing we don’t look obvious. It was clear we saved our vilification for exponents of the Barbie-doll look. These days you have to go quite a way down the fakery path before anyone has something to say about it.

So was I napping when this change happened? It doesn't seem that long ago that we were all doing the natural look. It this trend for obviously altering your looks new? Well of course it is not! But I ain’t gonna bore you with the Ancient Egyptians and the fact that men and women wore slap on their gobs for centuries as we all know that.

I’m more interested in why it is we’ve reverted back to obvious fakery - and in such a big way.

Well I suppose the natural reaction to decadence is to go the other way in a big hurry so when the Georgian era was over [King George IV and his followers spent a fortune on cold cream, powders, pastes, and scents] and his niece Vicki took the throne... change was on the cards. Some how Victoria got it into her head that anyone who enhanced their appearance was doing so for trade. Of course makeup has an associated use with actors and prostitutes (which many at that time considered to be one and the same). She was a popular bird ol' Vicki and she hung around for a ruddy long time therefore it became part of the nations psyche to regard with disdain any visible hint of tampering with what nature gave you.

Believe it or not it took Selfridges of Oxford Street to start selling make up OVERTHECOUNTER in 1910, to convince most normal people that a bit of slap is ok (before that buying enhancements was always a furtive activity). Nevertheless the Victorian look remained in fashion until movie linked makeup marketing came about during the 1920's. By the late '20's, visible styling (not attributed to nature) was considered a must by city dwellers but was still frowned upon in rural areas. From the 1930's through the 1950's, movie stars proved to be the models for trends in physical appearance as this form of entertainment became iconic. With the '60's the Egyptian look came back with heavily lined eyes and by the end of the decade physical representation became political as liberation was communicated through painted images on faces. Heavily lined eyes continued through the '70's and by 80's both genders were plastered in bright eye shadow colours and did unspeakable things to their hair. But those Victorian values started kicking in again after the excesses of the 1980’s and by the 90’s the trend reverted to the Victorian natural look with occasssional nods to the styles from the prior 60 years.

So what happened to have women (and men) gluing fake hair to eyes and heads, spraying themselves orange, and bonding acrylic to the extreme end of their paws?

Well, according to social historians it’s actually just a return to common sense - the way things have always been.

Their research shows that in the earlier part of the 20th century, 'Victorian' was a term to which free associations would be hypocritical, oppressive, old-fashioned - basically...un-modern. So from the 1920’s through to 1980’s the obvious way to show you were none of the above was to obviously enhance your exterior. In the 1990’s however, during the Cool-Britainnia era, there was a sentimental harkening back to the assumed great days of the British Empire at its height. It was popularly belived that the so called Glory-days were sustained by 'Victorian values' of self-reliance, free enterprise, moral severity. This rather naive vision proved readily contestable (didn’t they shove kids up chimneys, enslaved the colonies and put the poor in workhouses?) – so , having found Victorian values more fake than Beyonce's hair....we are back to showing we reject their values by slapping on the fakery.

Errmmmmmmmm.... REALLY??

I just thought it was fashion! Why this fashion is acceptable is a great question but I really don’t think social historians have it quite right here.

No slant to the intelligence of the residents in my town, but doubt very much if they could even accurately give the correct years of the Victorian era – let alone know that they are rebelling against them.

The dictates of fashion have always come from role models. There has been a seismic shift in who these role models are. The Victorians may well have looked down their noses entertainers, but since technological advances have given us the cinema, the radio and the television – the purveyors of this trade are no longer in musical halls at the wrong end of town.... they are in our living rooms, in our cars and in our minds. Add this to the inaccessibility of the old role models (in Victorian times this would have been the upper classes and the intelligentsia) and it is obvious - celebrities have become the most accessible role models we have.

So... if our entertainers have become our role models and role models set the trends[check out picture at start of this article] ...no wonder there is no a hand, an eye, a chest, or a head without an enhancement or ten!... it’s the fashion.

That’s why my local high street can support so many salons for the application of this fakery – it’s popular!

However... there is a little part of me that wonders about relationships.

Do you have to be on duty 24/7... or does the other half not bat an unembellished eyelid when all the falsies come off?... it must be quite a shock to see a pile of chicken fillets, eyelashes, nails, hair and even bum padding! This is to say nothing of the spray tan stains on the sheets!

This may be where keeping one Victorian value (lights off in the bedroom) may just be a VERY good idea. ;)

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