BLOG 204: Kool Kats

“Cats know how to obtain food without labour, shelter without confinement, and love without penalties.” W. L. George

I’m not a great poetry lover but even I can recognise the source of a much quoted line. The source being Robert Burns' poem "To a Mouse". I cannot count the times I have heard people utter the words: The best laid schemes of mice and men often go awry... Or as Scottish Robbie wrote it "The best laid schemes o' mice an' men / Gang aft agley."  Ah... my kilt wearing neighbour from over the border... you did not legislate for the disruption for plans that is a Cat... or on reflection maybe that was exactly what he meant.

I left my parents home at 18 years old. Back then it was the norm. Only extreme losers were still shacked up with mama and papa at the dawn of their twenties. Of course there were many who left home even earlier than I but I recall their grand schemes promptly fell apart due to inexperience or just shear folly – 18 was just about right. BUT to ensure I remained a bonefide adult (who was not going to run back once the going got tough) I got myself a feline dependent. I figured having something outside myself to provide for would ensure that I had NO OTHER option but to make it work. (Besides I had barely got to the bottom of the road before my parents had called in the decorators and converted my girly boudoir into a library for all my father’s books... seems ensuring a lack of return options is a family trait)!

Now before the dog lovers kick off, I’d just like to say I grew up with both pets. I have nothing against dogs. But.  I have an in born attraction to the more intelligent options in life and to me cats are just that... Cats are more independent, less demanding, more content in general and don't need sitters if you have to travel for a few days. Cats are clean, don’t have to be taken for walks, bathe themselves, are self grooming and don’t need haircuts. Cats pace food supplies and don’t woof it all down in one go. Cats really don’t mind being home alone, are not afraid of weather conditions, and don’t howl every time a neighbour walks by.

So on leaving home it was the obvious choice to get a cat. Actually not one but two. And since those early days, feline dependants have always lived with me... the majority to the end of their days. When feline dependant five died suddenly last year, the household not only was bereft  -we really felt it. It seemed very odd living in a big ol house with only another human to blame for what ever it is that goes bump in the night in here – but that wasn’t quite it. My good friend Jane commented that especially in a household of only two people it was kind of essential to have “Another heartbeat in the house”.  

Although this was initially resisted, this year we began the search for feline dependant number six. We’d kind of made up our minds that as all prior felines were either blacks, torties, or black and whites that we were not going that route again, and that a silver tabby (another long lived moggie breed) was the way forward. We were definitely going to get a male, and with our busy life-styles a rescue moggie of about 1yr old would be the way forward.

We are now the proud ‘owners’ of a female, honey coloured, ocelot look-a-like kitten.

Yep.

So much for the plan.

That’s one of the many things that feline’s teach you... “do not depend on the plan... it  will never happen that way, just be happy with what you can salvage and bluff that you have things under your control”!

I can appreciate that the thump thump thump of a dogs wagging tail may well thrill canine lovers and that their inbred obedience and desire to please means you can teach them stuff. But living with a cat is a completely different relationship; it’s less about what you can do for them and more about what they can do for you. In fact there are quite a few things that Little Miss Ocelot has been teaching this household since she moved in last month:

1.       Personal prejudice only inhibits experience
The cat we were looking for was older, a different colour and the opposite gender. We’d had plenty of experience and drew upon it to inform our choices. Little Miss Ocelot  challenged us to abandon what we thought we knew,  and as a consequence we’re currently enjoying a completely new and fulfilling relationship that would not have been possible if we stuck to our guns. Good call kitty!

2.       Clean up your mess
The big plus about felines is that they are so clean! From day one we have had NO ‘whoopsies on the carpet’. Little Miss Ocelot knows that mess is a natural state of affairs sometimes, but if you originate it then you must be responsible for it. If only all humans would have that attitude about the sh1t THEY leave behind.

3.       Play your own fanfare, don’t nag, look cute.
It’s a busy household ours, we are both at chapters in our lives where there is a heck of a lot going on. Distractions are many and we both find it difficult sometimes to find time for each other. Not so our new kitten! She can’t be asked to go seek company and so with a volume that belies her size will meow loudly, summoning company. Once she has you within eye line she then shuts up, puffs her fur into a ball and makes her eyes big... knowing damn well no human can resist.

4.       Keep to the schedule
Skipping meals makes you grumpy. Not enough sleep makes you grumpy. Not enough basking in the sun makes you grumpy. Not enough exercise makes you grumpy. Not enough affection from others makes you grumpy. Not investigating all the possibilities the day unfolds makes you grumpy. Little Miss Ocelot knows this so ensures she schedules in all of the above EVERY day.

5.       S-T-R-E-T-C-H
An action packed day of being kitten means a lot of exercise. Little Miss Ocelot knows that to exercise cold muscles will be bad.  Thus to increase flexibility and improve the range of motion of her joints she has a stretching routine. I am yet to see her carted off the pitch due to her joints seizing up something FIFA may like to take note of as stretching is NOT listed in their 11+ programme.

6.       Recycle your old stuff
We did go a bit mental on PetPlanet and ordered a shed load of kitten toys. Little Miss Ocelot half heartedly batted them. Then in series of events that would take too long to explain, a toilet roll tube and a feather from a boa came into contact with each other. Little Miss Ocelot was in raptures... her paw was in the tube in seconds. Over the last weeks old cardboard tubes have been taped together into a pyramid. By putting toys or even cat treats in obscure tubes, she happily hunts for content. Who knew recycling could be such fun!

7.       Style it out
When you’re a 12 week old kitten it kind of stands to reason that you are going to be doing loads of stuff for the first time. Little Miss Ocelot doesn’t let the fact that at least 80% of the first times will end in total disaster stop her... she gives it a go. And when she ends upside down, unexpectedly on the floor, or covered in talcum powder (don’t ask!)... she simply gets up and looks at you as if to say “Yep... thought that may happen – just checking” and carries on regardless.

8.       Believe you are the best
Little Miss Ocelot can sit in the cup of two hands and still leave loads and loads of room. She’s very small in a world that is very big.  However she emanates a self belief that would put most personal PR’s out of business. She totally believes she is fab, she totally believes it gives others joy to be her servants, she totally believe that she is the thing in this household. As a consequence... it pretty much pans out that way for her.

9.       Do not be ambiguous about approval
This household is a busy one. Between the two of us who live here we have a LOT of contact with other bi-peds. There are some visitors to our home who are more welcome than others but we suffer the bad with the good.  Little Miss Ocelot cannot be asked to put on a display of welcome for those that quite frankly do not cut the mustard. If she doesn’t like you – she leaves the room... if she likes you she’ll sit on you. No chance of misunderstandings...Simples! Equally when we permanent residents do something she likes, she dispenses cuddles, if she disapproves, be prepared for hours of your life being wasted on coaxing her from under the sofa.

10.   Appreciate being alone
I swear the reason why so many cats linger in rescue homes is that the well meaning people who run them insist on owners having to be at home with the pet. Little Miss Ocelot is quite a sociable kitty, but she often takes her leave of us and chills out in a completely different room of the house, or I hear her romping with her toys quite happily by herself. Although happy to seek the company of others she is pleasantly self contained. If only more people could be less needy eh?

And that’s what we’ve learnt in just the last month since feline six moved in!

Yes a feline is as dependant upon you for food and shelter as would be a dog, but for me there is a subtle twist in the balance of the relationship.  A dog owner is just that... someone who OWNS a dog. There is something more challenging about felines - they have a dignity and judgement that no canine has ever exhibited.

A ‘faithful’ dog must be caged within your property and taken out only a leash for fear of it running away. A cat (with the freedom of a cat flap and associated options, not to return if it so deigns) - chooses to live with you. Living with a feline presence is more of a partnership of equals. And yet... even knowing that ...once again I was unprepared for the life-force that is a cat within the home.

I have a feeling Little Miss Ocelot hasn’t quite finished with me yet!

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