“ George: [on phone] Michael's chasing Kimmy? Julianne: [on phone] Yes!
George: [on phone] You're chasing Michael? Julianne: [on phone] Yes!
George: [on phone] Who's chasing you? Nobody. Get it! There's your answer.”
Written by Ronald Bass (Scriptwriter: My Best Friends Wedding)
John Cusack ruined my expectations, but to be fair so did Julia Roberts and Tom Cruise is as much to blame as anybody. You see these three and many more like them live in my brain as epic images of how when it comes to fight or flight syndrome... flight pays every time, at least in Love.
Tom runs in practically every movie... at the moment of enlightenment, Tom Cruise is never with the love interest... he always had to run through a couple of streets to make his declaration. Julia stole a bread van and drove through a busy Chicago to pursue Dermot Mulroney in My Best Friends Wedding and after she ran away from Richard Gere in Pretty Woman, he was happy not only to track her down in seedy LA but to climb the exterior of a building to declare his love. But it John that did the most damage... when Ione Skye didn’t choose him in Say Anything... he stood on her lawn with playing ‘their tune’ out of a ghetto blasta.
To me... love is physically chasing after someone, facing the possibility of humiliation but risking that anyway and doing so when it really looks like to all intent and purpose they cannot love you, will not love you. You will run through streets, you would steal a bread van, you overcome vertigo to climb a building, you’ll play Peter Gabriel at full blast under a bedroom window.
Thanks to these and many more images from movies and literature... I have never accepted any romantic attention without high drama I’m afraid.
My friends find this highly amusing and say I’m suffering from and acute case of ‘chase me-chase me’ syndrome and crack jokes regularly about bewildered men wondering ‘where the heck has she gone now?’ whilst I trot off somewhere expecting to be pursued. They reckon my single status is due to the fact that I keep leaving. They reckon if only I stuck around for a while good stuff would follow.
You know what.... that may well have some truth in it... stick around anything for long enough and it’ll appreciate you. May even request formally that your presence is required on a permanent basis, as it is hard to imagine you not being there. But really? Is that it?
Is that the secret to a love that lasts forever? Don’t leave?
Where is the adrenaline in just staying put?
Love IS drama. It should be an all consuming emotion causing adrenaline to pump through the heart. Why else is the heart the symbol of love?
I just don’t get the whole stay still and it will happen thing. It’s all a little... well ... comatose?
I like to keep the male of the species on his toes. I think they are built to chase like greyhounds after rabbits. My friends will tell you that I always expound the theory that being highly unavailable will result in my stock rising. They will tell you that Jax lives her theory. Then they will do that annoying smile thing that even I know means that they think I am absolutely crazy!
My friend s quite literally dine out on the stories of when my ‘chase-me chase-me’ action goes horribly wrong. There was the guy, who figured as I always seem to have somewhere else to be directly after our dates, that he’d schedule me back to back with another girl. My friends will regale in glee how when Jax is already for him to insist that she stays just a little bit longer, he got her coat and ushered the next one into her seat! And of course, they’ll bring up The Camber Sands incident which had Jax running in slow motion through the sand dunes whilst a male who will remain nameless looked around a couple of times whilst still seated... then shrugged and read the paper.
Amusing as these and other tales are to my friends... I still believe that the upside of flight over fight, is the fact that pursuit is a clear indication of passion. If a man can be asked to get off his backside and chase after you... then that has to be a little bit more of an investment in you that just reaching over and grabbing what happens to be there?
However, if you do the chase-me chase me thing, be prepared for blushes. I have learnt to accept that once motivated to do the greyhound thing, most men do not live in a highly scripted movie. And neither do I.
Like when the doorbell goes and you are in the middle of dinner, but on the other side of the door is someone who did a 16hr flight just on the off chance you’d say yes. .. or even maybe? Explain that to your elderly aunt when she says “Who is it dear?”
Or when someone turns up on a girls night and pays the DJ off for just one track knowing you’ll be a sucker for that tune and will approach the DJ box... just so he can ask you why you disappeared the last time it was played? Try styling that out when the whole dance floor can hear you through the microphones.
Then there is when he goes for an interview at your company even when he doesn’t even want the job, just so he can leave a note on your desk enroute to the interview room as you won’t return calls and security on your building is tight. I am still explaining that one to the HR gal!
Yeah .... it is all a little high drama.
I know... its high maintenance also.
It’s true, my friends always point out these grand dramatic gestures cause such peaks, the troughs must feel unbearably dull. No one could maintain such heights... Life, and that does mean Love too, is lived at a calmer pace. Life and Love and all the rest of it happens on a regular beat.
So they tell me.
I wouldn’t know. It all sounds a little too low maintenance. That regular beat sounds an awful lot like a flat-line.
The symbol of love is the heart... pumped with adrenaline. Yeah it’s a risk, sometimes I may have run out on something that (if only I stayed put) may have lead to a preacher saying words and 200 guests bearing toasters wrapped in silver paper and ribbon.
But hey ho... I have my own toaster (De_Longhi... top of the range Italian don’t you know!). It is 2011 after all; I have practically all the “I bought it!” lines in Destiny Childs “Independent Woman”.
The best thing a man can provide for me is a little adrenaline pumping chase... I’m prepared for the preacher to have Saturday off!
So yeah... another weekend of high drama, hot pursuit and grandiose declarations.
No chance of a flatline yet!
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