BLOG 175: Only Human

"I'm only human, of flesh and blood I'm made" from HUMAN, by The Human League.© Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.

Sometimes it’s all about what YOU are all about. I’m often fascinated when people recoil from criticism and feel that others do not have the right to comment on what they see as contradictions in your value base. Sometimes I really do wonder if that means that the person was inconsistent... or if it’s just us filling in the blanks with what we think that person was all about?

To be fair, no one has the time or forum (writers aside I suppose) to paint in all the details of who they are. When you are chatting to people to be honest you are lucky if you give not much more of a thumbnail sketch of what you are all about. It’s pretty dangerous really when you think about it, as each of us do have the tendency to pigeon hole people based on this information. Ask yourself ...how often do find yourself surprised when a friend you thought you knew well suddenly presents another colour to their personality that you didn’t expect. How often do you think “Gah! They are all about this... then they go and do THAT!”

I have a friend in America (actually more than a friend I love the bones of this woman she is sooooo awesome – she’s like my sister over the sea!). She often quotes an author and speaker who is very famous over there. This particular author/speaker has her roots in the Christian belief structure and is rather good for soundbites on how to live your life. An example of such soundbites would be “Avoid self-pity, because you can be pitiful or powerful, but you can't be both!”. I have to say I do look forward to my sister over the sea’s quotations, I do find them rather invigorating and they do rather shake me out my funks and motivate me for the day.

In my mind, from what I knew of the author of these quotes (excuse my ignorance my American readers... on this side of the pond we know little of this facet of your culture) I knew her to be some kind of charismatic pastor who had some sort of television ministry (I caught a bit of her show when I was in Chicago). And I knew she had written a slew of self help books - 21 Ways to Conquer Anxiety, Fear, and Discontentment being one of the more famous ones to the European market. However, living in Europe as I do, the author was really not someone I paid much attention to as over here we have our own culture to be busy with (and I really do not do self help books as I find them rather weird!). Yet I do rather like it when my sister over the sea does slip in a quote or two from this author as they are rather peppy.

I’m a curious soul though. This morning it occurred to me to look up the author these quotes. The interweb is a mine of information when you are that way inclined! Imagine my surprise when I found that the person responsible for all these ‘how to live your life better’ quotes had actually come in for a lot of criticism about her own lifestyle. It appears the author has just upgraded her favoured mode of transport to a Gulf stream IV and whizzes about the USA and beyond on this private jet. As the author is unashamedly Christian, there are those who feel that she should not be so flash and walk barefoot to her meetings.

I can kind of see where her critics are coming from. The tenets of Christianity do rather go hand in hand with a little humility and a lifestyle that incorporates that $10 million corporate jet, a $107,000 Mercedes, a $2 million personal home plus houses worth another $2 million for her four children, a $20 million headquarters that is furnished to the tune of $5.7 million, don’t sit easily with the idea of a dedicated follower of a illegitimate carpenter who espoused the rather socialist principal of sharing everything you have with those worse off than you.

On the other hand, despite the fact said carpenter pointed out that a rich man has less chance of getting to heaven than a camel has of passing through the eye of a needle... there is actually no tenet in the Christian faith that says that you can’t enjoy a bob or two if you have it. Christianity above and beyond all other faiths does rather place its reward structure upon accepting that all of humanity are your brothers and sisters and you should do as much as you can to support that family – emotionally, practically, physically, and yes financially . (The big idea being when they ask why you can tell them about your faith). So, I really can’t see that this particular author/speaker deserves the all criticism she gets ... okay she is a bit flash with her bucks but she does spread the word about her faith to people who very probably would not have heard about it any other way. Still ...will probably be a squeeze getting through that needle though I imagine, but hey ho that’s not up to me to decide.

Anyway, the whole debacle gave me pause for thought.

I wonder how often I give the world an impression I should be one kind of person... and it is surprised that often I’m another?

You see... (using authors priviledge) THIS is who I am:

• I am a rebellious person who accepts authority and is loyal
• I accept the rules and often totally ignores or rejects them
• I am distant, cold and aloof and famed for being really affectionate
• I am aspirational, ambitious, motivated, self satisfied and really lazy
• I am really secretive and guarded and an open book and very candid
• I am very caring and a total callous bitch
• I adore change and love to shake things up and want everything to say the same
• I’m a grumpy cow who is the cheerful unstoppable life and soul of the party
• I have no tact and think those who have are too thick to be sarcastic but am very considerate
• I am really cooperative and I’m the most combative unhelpful person around
• I am fearless and courageous and a first to retreat coward
• I am courteous in the extreme and down right rude and blunt
• I am persistent and sustaining and am a dithering indecisive nelly
• I am devoted and deeply committed and uncaringly hostile
• I will do what ever is necessary and will do what ever is convenient
• I persevere and endure to get to a goal and give up on the first or second hurdle
• I am happy clappy with enthusiasm and am apathetic and indifferent
• I am flexible and rigid and unbending
• I am forgiving and spiteful
• I am scattered, unfocused and can zoom in unshakably on target and score
• I am authoritarian and freedom loving
• I am a spendthrift who is thrifty and frugal
• I am arrogant, conceited and humble, modest and self effacing
• I am immature and ridiculous and adult with gravitas
• I am open-minded and intolerant
• I am very positive and really negative
• I am unrestrained and totally self disciplined
• I am trusting and suspicious
• I am self reliant, supportive and self centred and dependant
• I am ostentatious and unpretentious
• I am dishonest and totally sincere

I am all of this and more. I’m not just one thing all the time. I’m the situation. I’m the person. I’m the location. I’m the environment. I am a hotbed of contradiction.

We all are. On top of that we take our personal histories where ever we go... and that totally informs our reactions. I look at the history of the author of my sister across the sea’s quotations. Her childhood was unstable and she was pretty poor. (America does poor better than most places on earth – could it be because it is wears its poverty cheek by jowl to its excess I wonder?) Anyway at one time the author had to steal just to get by. I have no doubt that these days she may well deeply believe the message of the carpenter she spreads... but given that background... I find it rather unsurprising that she needs to outwardly display wealth... she takes her personal history with her.

We all do.

I was quite amazed at how many sites there were on the interweb calling this particular person a fraud simply over the incongruity between the woman’s flash harry lifestyle and her faith.

I do believe in her faith there is an important tenet, which came about when the carpenter came across a married woman who had been caught having a bit of afternoon delight with a bloke that certainly was NOT her husband. The locals had chased the woman through the town and had cornered her... they had gathered a nice selection of rocks and were just about to pelt her to death with them. As I said, along comes the carpenter. Well, the whole town knew he was a good and fair man and they asked him if what they were about to do was fair by him, after all she had broken her marriage vows... open and shut case! With the wisdom that demonstrates why after 2011 years the world still pays attention to what this man told people, he simply said “Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.”

Funny enough, it turned out that there was no one of that description in the big angry mob that were passing judgement on that woman.

We all sit in judgement of each other every day. Sometimes we are a little fast to declare someone fake without bothering with the back-story or looking at the situation. Not being who we appear to be is the risk we all run as most of us only give a thumbnail sketch of who we are to the world. So... the next time you are cast in the role of judge... remember that inconsistency is not always fraudulent.

We’re not frauds when we appear inconsistent with how those in judgement see us
... we are human.






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