BLOG 53: I'm Fantabulous Dahlinks!

FANTABULOUS DAHLINKS!

“I am a deeply superficial person.” Andy Warhol (American Artist and Initiator of Pop art)

Don’t you ever get a little tired of having to be slightly dishonest about the things you most value? It seems we must constantly have worthy motives all time. Everything must be for the greater good of mankind.

And whilst I think that the greater good of mankind is a good thing, it’s not exactly honest as a reason why I hold some things dear… and other things… well, not so much...

For instance when it comes to that question about who are your musical influences… you never REALLY say the bands and artists that genuinely influenced you, you just say the ones that make you sound like the person you really should be. It gets even worse with who your hero’s are… you want to say you pretty much hero worship the supermodel in the Calvin Klein ad as he changed your view of men’s pants forever– but end up saying the guy who invented penicillin cause he saved untold amount of lives.

You see, you always end up saying the thing that sounds right.

If you asked me who my twentieth century heroines were…I could spout many. Marie Stopes (thanks for the contraception), Rosa Parks (thanks for saying ‘no sir NOT today’), Barbara Castle (big thanks to her and all those behind the Sex Discrimination Act of 1975), among them… all very worthy. But no one truly dear to my heart, if I’m honest.

If I were honest? Sad to say it will be the ones who were a combination of pretty, sexy, successful and fearless. I have no evidence of any of my top five saving anyone’s lives or doing anything other than looking good, making a fortune from what ever skill they had and having a sharp tongue to anyone who got in their way.

The kind of women who would not be frightened to eat dinner alone in a restaurant or say “Stop huni this simply isn’t doing it for me” (Oh yes… even THEN). We are talking the likes of Nancy Astor, Dorothy Parker, Katherine Hepburn, Shirley Conran… and Kimora Lee Simmons.

Women who realised that whilst worthy causes must be supported, life really can be so much better if only we paid a little more attention to the sparkle… and a little less to the tweed.

I know… I know… I sound as deep as the shallow end of the swimming pool. But can anyone tell me WHY being deep means that one can’t appreciate style?

A word I say often is fantabulous. I’m not sure if it is even a word but it is a literal blend of Fantastic and Fabulous.. the word represents a place where glamour, wit, innate style and a certain appreciation for the kitsch all meet and decorate intelligence.

You can’t be fantabulous and stupid. The rules of fantabulous say you have to be aware… if not… you just won’t get it.

To be fantabulous you must pay attention to what goes on around you… and provoke a reaction… and you must be ready at all times to comment. These are the things all my heroines have in common.

So… in pure Jax’s style let’s have a look at my dear to the heart heroines… women of substance who made their world a fantabulous place too!

Proving ground breaking achievement is not the remit of just those with nothing better to do, here’s the first on my chronological list. Strangely given that she was a Yank, Nancy Astor was the first woman to serve as a Member of Parliament (MP) in the British Parliament. A stunning beauty, Nancy was a model for the great portrait capturers of her day - one only has to gaze upon the portrait by John Singer Sargent to see that the girl could certainly wear a frock! Equally her homes in Buckinghamshire and London were the most stylish and copied of the day. Aware that she was not taken seriously due to her status as a fashionista and beauty, she rather enjoyed watching those who made the mistake of taking her lightly trying to back track once she had achieved the unachievable. There are so many of her sardonic quotes floating about but one of my favourites is “The penalty for success is to be bored by the people who used to snub you”.

Being fantabulous was simply second nature to the next heroine on my chronological list. Dorothy Parker was an American writer and poet. She was also nominated for an Oscar for a little screenplay she wrote called A Star is Born. There are just two other writers who have remained constantly in print since their first outing... one is a British Chap called William Shakespeare, the other is the chap who put together the old and new testament and called it the Bible – so it’s fair to say Dorothy could write. She was probably the owner of the sharpest eye when it came to spotting 20th century urban foibles, Dorothy is much remembered for her caustic wit and polished one liners. A sexy and stylish woman, Dorothy was much desired and much married… defying the stereotype of the intellectual woman. Her most famous quote on this subject is of course... ‘Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses’

Another fantabulous woman with a Hollywood connection would be the great Katherine Hepburn. How ironic that the woman once referred to as Box Office Poison is officially ranked by the American Film Institute as the greatest female star in the history of American cinema. Way ahead of her time she was unconventional, direct, outspoken and intellectual with an acerbic tongue. She defied the era's conventions, being very direct about her left wing politics and her non marital sexual relationships. Katherine lent her name to some liberal social and political causes, particularly family planning. She also defied convention by wearing trousers this caused a revolution in fashion as women rushed to copy her, which was considered outrageous at the time. The woman who manages still to hold the record for the most Oscars won by a female performer, never once did a thing that was expected of her. On this subject she is quoted saying “If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun”

Have your cake, she said. Eat it. But just don't be silly enough to bake the bloody thing. Of course the next fantabulous woman we are talking of is of course, Shirley Conran. So easily she could have just been a footnote in the biographies of her famous ‘Mr Habitat’ husband and 2 famous designer sons. But instead Shirley became the poster girl for the second and gentler wave of practical feminism. Like 9 novels were not enough, Shirley popped out 6 non fiction books and a career as a journalist and editor… but how do you do all that and raise a family and support a high profile husband cried the women of the day! It was a time when women were trying to juggle being the star of the boardroom, the queen of bedroom whilst winning Michelin stars in the kitchen. Shirley of course was a self confessed cheat, admitting it couldn’t all be done and pointing out that anyway life was way too short to waste time stuffing mushrooms. Shirley brought respect to corner cutting rebranding it as efficiency and made no secret of the fact that she would rather lie on a sofa than sweep beneath it. A fan of looking good, she even brought her ‘just cheat’ ethos to the aging process, rebranding nips and tucks as just routine maintenance! A direct to the point Brit, Shirley made it acceptable for women everywhere to feel they really do not have to be everything to everybody and it’s absolutely fine to cherish yourself. My favourite quote is where after it is established that there is nothing wrong with putting yourself at the top of your list she said “First things first, second things never.”

Life is hard enough when you don’t have money, and even harder when you are half Korean and half Black and growing up in Missouri, without being only 10 years old and 5feet 10 inches tall. What better revenge than to be awarded an exclusive modelling contract with Chanel just after your 13^th birthday? But what is more outstanding is to go on to be CEO of a $140 million dollar company before you are 30. We are of course talking of Kimora Lee Simmons. Kimora admits to having the quality of fabulousness to an unbearable extreme - a quality revealing all that expresses glamour, style, charisma, power, and heart. In a way she is full circle back to Nancy Astor – a beautiful loud mouth who proved dangerous to under estimate. A woman who has been captured by the portrait makers of the day, whose home is the envy of millions and the social hub of the glitterati. A woman who cultivates power, independence, confidence, and positivity in everything she does. On her softer side, Kimora heads several charities and youth advocacy organisations, and despite being bullied at school provides funding for students from that school to attend college. However, like a magpie if it glitters, Kimora has it and has quite a reputation as the princess of bling. The media are never quite sure if she is knowingly kitsch or just ghastly crass, a matter she did not help to clarify with her recent quote “You guys aren't gonna handle me...You're gonna be handled."

So there they are – an MP, A Writer, An Actress, A Novelist and A Model. Spanning from just before the end of the 19^th Century to the start of the 21^st, five women who made a mark, whilst looking good and living well. It’s a comfort to know the fab five managed to achieve that – even if not one of them achieved world peace, equality or an end to third world poverty.

You can see why I lie. It doesn’t reflect well to say your heroines didn’t actually further the cause of the species much.

However the fab five do remind me of myself so much more than a more worthy set of candidates.

When I hear the world comment of Kimora’s love of bling, I’m aware I own home furnishings made of sequins, teddy bear fur and of the same mirrored mosaics they make disco balls from.

When I hear the world comment on Shirley Conran’s guilt free household cheating, I’m aware I pay others rather than do tasks I loath and have been known to let Marks and Spencer’s go uncredited for more than one ‘home cooked’ culinary extravaganza.

When I hear the world comment on Katherine Hepburn’s in your face opinions and outrageous fashions, I’m aware that I too seldom back down and have been known pass inappropriate wear off as personal style.

When I hear the world comment on Dorothy Parker’s bullet speed put downs and her voracious appetite for male company, I’m aware that I too feel sometimes it just has to be said and yes maybe a few more female friends may balance the see saw.

When I hear the world comment on Nancy Astor’s hostessing and gown wearing , I’m aware that seldom a month goes by without an invite with my address in the venue box, and I really do need to wear clothes more than once before I decide they need replacing.

And when I look at photographs of these five women you can’t avoid the way how each went out of their way to provoke a reaction – be it Nancy’s bare back, Or Dorothy’s angled hat, or Katherine’s gentleman’s suit, or Shirley’s cosmetic surgery or Kimora’s bling tastic diamonds .

But then I recall how ready they were to handle the reactions they cultivated and how sassy their answers on any given subject were.

And when I do think of them I smile, and know that just the fact I get that these women are heroines’ means that I must be fantabulous too!

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