To see ya nice!!!
And so we come to the grand daddy of all catchphrases, the one that has truly stood the test of time, lasting through five decades. At the start of any of his shows Bruce Forysth says: "Nice to see you to see you…" which the audience completes by replying: "…nice!" Taken from The bibliography of TV Catchphrases 2009 edition
My publisher likes face to face meetings. In these days of electronic communication – he likes people to be in a room… together. Now this is something that I think I should applaud… but in actual fact (if I am honest) I rather groan at.
It means get up, get showered, get dressed and get a move on. It means having to abide by a schedule. It also means not being able to multitask whilst he talks…(I have been known to do the ironing during conference calls). It means physical participation.
Of course after said meeting is done… I usually feel pretty good about the direction the magazine is going in… and I must say refreshed from hearing another’s point of view…and to be able to see the reactions to my ideas.
There is something rather considered about the written word. Too easy to press delete on an ill considered phrase. This can’t be done face to face… once it is out there… it’s out there. Which is probably why my publisher does like a face to face every now and again.
Now I’m sans-office, I cannot believe how quickly I have got used to electronic communication as a substitute for being in a room with living breathing people. Six months in, and I really don’t think I could return to office life again. Which is odd – I would normally describe myself as a people person. When asked about my old company I would say every time, top of the list, the thing I loved the most was the people.
And it wasn’t just the convos around the coffee station and water cooler I loved… I loved meeting clients and agents, I loved jumping on planes, trains and automobiles to meet suppliers, I even loved talking to the variety of nutters I’d meet on my daily commute.
I’d been doing that for some 20 odd years… it was a part of me. Or so I thought.
Like I said six months in… and I’m huffing and puffing at the thought of having to have a face-to face meeting. “Why can’t he just send me the stuff by e-mail” I actually uttered as I looked out onto a glorious sunny morning and realised that my usual shorts/tee/flipflops combo would not be appropriate wear. However, having recreated Mount Sinai on my bed with the contents of my wardrobe and got over the shock that I do actually own work clothes – it was quite nice to put on REAL shoes. But I took a moment to reflect on how it is that I became so anti-social… so quickly.
Six months ago, I had the mother of all leaving dos in a top City bar. Over 50 people attended. We danced like demons, drank a lot of cocktails and I was presented with a huge card, lots a pressies and a cake. I was offered the phrases, “Keep In Touch” and “Don’t be a stranger” a lot. I made a load of promises I really did mean to keep.
Since that time, who have I actually kept in touch with. Well… practically all actually. I know all their news and they know mine.
Impressive… Jax stayed in touch with over 50 people. The people who gave her such a great send off on a chilly February night in the city. IMPRESSIVE.
Not really. My version of keeping in touch came down to use of the unholy foursome. Facebook. MSN. Hotmail. Text-messaging. Ahhhhhh… not so impressive after all?
I have actually spent face to face time with … lets see… my two lunch buddies, my Friday club buddies (the FLC), one mate on maternity leave, one of the rebels (Charlie’s Angels) and one member of senior management. A total of SEVEN people.
Ms Socialable 2009, the woman who had a rotation system for who to have lunch with, the same person who could marshal the entire company into parties on a because I said so…could only get off her butt to spend time with 7 of her former partners in crime. Umm… yes.
I could use the excuse that I am busy. After all, I have a son to raise, a magazine to edit, blogs to write and articles to do. As a mate of mine who is also freelance pointed out: “at least when we were office-based the day ended at 5.30 and if you were still working after then you KNEW you were a sucker”. Working from home means that you start working in your PJ’s and if you are not careful you can still have them on when night falls… the days are unstructured but very full. But that is not my excuse.
I structure my days just fine. (I have to… I have become addicted to ‘Come Dine With Me’ I must finish everything by the time that comes on!). I get up as I always did…early. I work for a while. Then I stop to get my son off to school, then watch ‘The Wright Stuff’ (best current affairs on TV), then I work right through to the afore-mentioned dinner party programme. I’m pretty much free from 4.30pm!
When my ex-colleagues suggest a get together I answer enthusiastically, “Why yes, let’s meet up for a drink sometime”. And yet, I have managed to meet up after work with just two off my ex-colleagues… and both of them had to sort the date, place and time or frankly those occasions wouldn’t have happened either!
I am my own boss by enlarge, so I can give myself a day off. I took a day off and went to Bognor Regis to visit an ex-work colleague who is on maternity leave, I took an afternoon off to meet a member of the senior management team for lunch (and a frank exchange of ideas). So I CAN do it. But why bother? Sooo much easier to send a HOW’S THINGS by electronic systems and receive a ALL GOOD back and tick the box that I’ve stayed in touch with ‘thingummy’ with whom I used to regularly have a beer with on a Friday night.
It’s appalling isn’t it?
In my defence, it is the advent of social messaging sites that have proven to be my downfall. It’s so EASY to feel like you are staying in touch. I can see the photos and videos of everyone’s life, they can see mine, we can have a banter, we can cheer each other up when we are down, we can celebrate each others achievements…. All without having to actually leave the house. I mean… is it REALLY necessary for me to sort childcare, haul ass from point A to point B and back again… just to do WHAT?
Interface. That is what my publisher calls it… Interface.
And… as much as I HATE to admit it… he is right. Unless you actually spend the time with people… you are NOT staying in touch. The last word of the phrase says it all….TOUCH. You cannot do that remotely. Sometimes you just have to BE there.
I used to be amazed when women would become pen-pals with men incarcerated on Death Row on the other side of the world. I’d be even more amazed when those women would jump aboard a flight to said prison and marry the man. Stories like this used to confuse me:
Hester Patrick has been married for five years but she has never hugged or kissed her husband or even touched him. She may never do those things because Jesse Patrick is on death row in
The 47-year-old British stage designer may seem to have an unusual marriage but she is far from unique. Many women start corresponding with an inmate to provide comfort and support to someone in a terrible situation and it goes from there,
Go on… say it. NUTS? Surely to be married, the most committed relationship status we as humans bestow, it is a fair assumption that you must KNOW someone. Even arranged marriages involve a meeting of sorts. How can someone feel that by exchanging the written word that they KNOW someone? And how can you call yourself married for FIVE years when you have never even TOUCHED the other person?
Now I ask you, go look at the list of ‘friends’ on your facebook page. Got any ‘friends’ there you have done nothing more than exchange the written word with for 5 years? Bet you do. But could you go press delete on them? No. Because you feel connected… you feel you would be severing a link to cut them off.
I realise there is a little bit of Hester in me. I realise that I can kid myself into believing I am in touch with the people I think are in my life. I realise that there is a lot to be gained by human interface… that can not be gained ANY other way…
My ex-colleague and I had 3 bottles of wine the other night while we caught up on each others news. We Facebook and text, so I knew she’d got rid of her highlights… but it took a face to face meeting to see how fabulous the condition of her hair is and how amazing her new dark look is. It also took a face to face meeting to remind me that gal can drink me under the table ANY night of the week!
My ex-colleague who had a baby since I left, was so worth the 3 trains to Bognor! I saw her babies photos on Facebook of course, but to hold that new life in my arms and have him snuffle my neck and stare into my eyes…. Bloody beyond price. It also took being in a room with mother and baby to feel her happiness and the bond between her and her son… it also meant I got a yummy calorie loaded lunch (I’d forgotten what a good cook she is!)
My ex-colleagues from the FLC were so worth going for a meal with. Yes we’d said what is going on in our lives on MSN, and Hotmail. But for us all to be around a table, brought back to life the energy we very different women create when we are in the same room. It also meant I laughed till my mascara ran – and yes the Alice Cooper look is NOT one I carry well!
My ex-colleague who is senior management in my old company was so worth going for a drink with. It was good to hear that my value is neigh on impossible to replace. More than that it was good to bitch about one particular member of the senior management team whose days or so numbered if only they knew it! It was the type of interface that could NEVER have happened electronically as face to face leaves and I quote “NO TRACE”
My two ex-colleagues who were the mainstay of my years in my old company, well… we see each other the most. There is no substitute for being with these two very different people. She rings from time to time, He texts like a demon… both hate facebook and neither have been known to read an e-mail. So we meet up. We drink a lot of vodka, we eat a lot of food. We all went to a wedding together as each others significant others! We have even been known to go outside and lark about… like the middle aged children we truly are!
I realised I’m guilty of sitting at my computer for long enough to lose reality as far as social activities and social skills ar concerned. Thing is.. I can get information on my friends lives at my finger tips far easily. It is very easy to let it feel like personal contact. But it is not….it is as impersonal as you can get. You can’t replicate any of the above by sending a message or posting a photo.
Also getting of my butt to see people means at least I’m not packing on the weight that goes with the sedentary lifestyle in front of the screen. I for one have no intention of becoming an out of shape zombie who wonders why no one is relating to them.
And so… this is a warning! IF I have recently said to you “We must meet up sometime”…. BE WARNED…. Jax… is (really) a-coming and …. SOON!!!!
(Thanks to S. Glidden at Tiger Mountain Ranch for the theme of this blog)
but seeing people take up so much time!! EMBRACE THE TECHNOLOGY JAX...stop being such a dinosaur!
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