BLOG 39: Havin' a FAG?

HAVIN' A FAG?

To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times. ~Mark Twain

I just received the above picture in an e-mail from a mate. I had to laugh London Ontario shares the same state of play as London England. No don’t get me wrong, I applaud the change in the matrimonial law in this country… love is a rare commodity and if two people not only find each other but wish to make a life time commitment then who the hell was the law to say it could only be the heterosexuals that should have that right. But the sign says it all… havin’ a fag sure ain’t what it used to be.

The smoking ban in England, that made it illegal to smoke in all enclosed public places and enclosed work places, came into force on 1 July 2007.

Now let’s get something straight (tee he he – I know deliberate pun)… but let’s just say it… No one, like NO ONE has a tobacco stick for its health benefits. It’s a self-destructive adult pleasure. As a wise mate once said to me… “It will take 5 years or more off your old age – and add nothing to your youth.”

I agree with any legislation that will ensure that those under the legal age of adulthood cannot purchase cigarettes – smoking is highly addictive and to be enslaved by a decision you made as a child is a bit harsh. It should be an adult decision to smoke.

I agree with any legislation that protects the unwilling from second hand smoke – the jury isn’t in on how harmful this really is, buy why should those who chose not to partake in the habit suffer along with those who have freely made the choice. It should be that you should have a right to choose smoke-free air in an enclosed space.

The government are patting themselves on the back about how many people have given up the daemon weed since the ban came in over two years ago.

Call me a cynic… I was just wondering…. Was the smoking ban to make England a healthier place – or was it just to vilify smokers as social pariahs?

In England we’ve been withdrawing places for smokers to indulge their habits for some years. The younger of my readers may not remember a time when the smoker was king.

Camel Cigarettes used to be advertised with the strap line “The Number 1 Doctors Choice”. In fact a doctor would pass you a cigarette if he was to give you bad news…for your nerves. Film stars were obliged to be photographs with ‘one burning’ to establish their edgy-sexiness.

But in the day to day, offices were full of overflowing ashtrays (the higher the pile of butts – the better the productivity). Social gatherings were conducted in a fog of exhaled smoke and all public transport had smoking areas.

I used to ride the tube in the days when smoking was permitted. I quite often would get off at Earls Court, stinking of smoke and quite bewildered as to how I got there (the windows were so tarred up with smoke residue that I couldn’t see when Gloucester Road came so I’d ride on obliviously!).

The bus wasn’t much better. Smokers were corralled upstairs. Talk about the air getting thin the further up you go! You’d climb the stairs of the old routemasters and enter a yellow tinged cloud. I remember a little girl asking her mother where her Nana was. The mother answered that Nana had ‘gone to heaven to live with Angels’ and the little girl asked if they were in Nana’s cloud. Who knew… heaven was the upper deck of a 122 to Crystal Palace!

The Cinema was my favourite site for observing optimism about smoke. A film would come on which frankly was just a large arrow. The arrow would drift to one side of the cinema and a voice over would ask all the smokers to move to that side “for the comfort of those who do not wish to inhale your smoke”. Of course… that’d work… in STUPID LAND!

However, a voluntary ban came in on public transportation and the cinema and both became places where smoke was no longer an issue.

Equally, workplaces moved of their own accord to have smoking rooms rather than having desk-top smoking. I can’t tell you how joyous the politicking that went on in corporate smoking rooms were – but I can tell you that every company I worked in that had one… the key people to know could all be found in the smoking room!

I think it is great that the ban on 1.7.07 took it further. The notorious smoking room was to be outlawed… and basically if it had a roof on it in England… then spark up NO MORE! Workplace smokers were consigned to the street… not the best place to debate corporate policy.

You will note that whilst I have looked at public transport, cinemas and workplaces….I have not said a word about the big three… Bars, Clubs and Restaurants.

Now the reason I left the social things off, was that I don’t know about you, but my friends fall into both camps. Smokers and Non-smokers. I have never yet refused the friendship of someone based on whether or not they are a user of cigarettes. The English smoking ban assumed that non-smoking people and smoking people do not interact. And that if a minority of them do… well… the benefits will outweigh any inconvenience.

However, a whole heap of odd things were revealed to us all in the brave new smoke-free world post 01.07.07.

That very summer artistes found the smoking ban just couldn’t work with their art. The Rolling Stones flouted the ban – Ronnie and Keith both sparking up on stage. Who’d have thought it’d be ROCK AND ROLL to smoke a legal rollie!

I went to my first smoke free gig late in the summer of 07. It was the most bizarre experience. The gig was in a small intimate venue in central London. I’d been there many times before. Normally music fans would gather in a darkened room. Spotlights highlighted the band and curlicues of smoke would wind through the limelight columns. You had to struggle to see anything – but it was very atmospheric.

It wasn’t that night. I could see the stage. Clearly. Very clearly. I could also see the whites of everyone else’s eyes. It was most disconcerting. It was like being in a pen with a load of bright eyed owls. I was entirely unnerved. It put me off the gig. I left early… stumbled out of the venue into Soho… and joined the throng on the pavement having a fag. (I assume like me their nerves were in pieces!)

Night clubs were even worse. It would be easy to go home looking like a tattooed lady. One stamp on the back of your hand to get in….then one for every fag-break through to closing time. Also the smoking area became just one more place to check before you were sure you’d been dumped. Areas became patrolled often by frantic looking singletons who on catching sight of their amour with a burning ciggie in their hand would show the kind of relief previously reserved for homecoming of heroes. Inside the club a problem arose….. with anything up to 1/3 of the club outside partaking in the weed – it was up hill to fill to dance floor.

The ramifications of smoke free pubs didn’t really kick in for a few months. It took me a while to work out what was wrong.

Firstly, the smoking ban was divisive with my group of friends. Non-smokers becoming coat and bag monitors whilst the smokers left the premises to indulge their habit. This developed into an activity that became known as ‘smlirting’. (Flirting whilst in a smoking area.) It became so prevalent that smokers would get to know a representative from every table in the pub – whilst the poor non-smokers remain static guarding baggage on the original table. A non- smoker could easily spend ½ their evening alone due to this. In the end non-smokers would go on fag-breaks with their addicted friend… passive smoke maybe… but MUCH more sociable!

Secondly, the joy of getting home without smelling like an ashtray wore off quickly when the smell of beer slops and human sweat became prevalent. Who knew… pubs stink and the smell has been disguised for centuries by the aroma of burning tobacco? Suddenly being inside a pub wasn’t the attractive premise it promised to be when the smoking ban was first enforced. Again the smoking area’s filled up… this time with those looking for better fragranced air to breathe… ironic or WHAT?!

Then the big one. Restaurants. It never occurred to me before the ban, how much smoking and eating were intertwined.

Before 01.07.07, one would eat, have a fag, order coffee, have a fag, order more drinks, have a fag, order more drinks… and continue right up to a liqueur at closing time. My friend who used to run a restaurant said to me many years ago ‘The food.. I could give away! I make my money on the booze.’ Nowadays… people eat… wish they had a fag… order a coffee… and leave so they can smoke in peace… and have the liqueur at home. People have stopped lingering in restaurants.

Banning smoking in the workplace has resulted in a rise in productivity. Maybe it’s just the fun has gone out of smoking at work when people find themselves standing out on the street like a hooker with a fag in hand. Or maybe now that the smoking room door isn’t letting clouds of smoke billow across the office it’s just that people can see their work.

And taking the ban further so that people can’t smoke in Airports, Train Stations or anywhere else that people won’t be spending a prolonged period of time is great. If you can’t last a few hours… then you REALLY do have a problem.

But the social thing leaves me feeling that the law has gone too far. I mean… are we really looking for clean air in a pub, club or restaurant? Would it really be too much to have smoking facilities in some of these places? I wonder if it would have been wiser to have social establishments opt in or out of the ban – as long as they clearly advertise if they are a smoking or non-smoking venue?

I’m not alone. A group, calling themselves "Freedom To Choose", launched a campaign for a judicial review of the smoking ban. They are claiming that the law is in breach of the Human Rights Act 1998, as it does not respect the right to privacy of people who wish to smoke in pubs and social clubs. They haven’t failed just yet; they do have some supporters in high places.

But somehow I think Freedom to Choose are ultimately doomed.

Although the £7 billon the government earn from tobacco tax more than gives change from the £4.5 they spend on care for sufferers of tobacco related diseases… there is one salient point: Fact is, if we knew what we now know about tobacco when it first hit these shores in 1556…we’d never have legalised it.

Which brings me back to that sign in London Ontario. As a society we are good at recognising when we are in breach of peoples human rights. I am so proud of us that we have equal rights for all who wish to marry. I’m just not so sure that that Freedom to Choose have detected a genuine breach in the Human Rights Act by the imposing of the smoking ban.

I think for most people, when it comes to havin’ a fag of your very own, when ever you want, without anyone telling you what you are doing is illegal… you need to be looking at a major life style change. And I don’t mean giving up smoking!