10 March
BLOG SEVEN: Talking about Cab drivers and hairdressers...
Oh jeeez! Don't ya just love the way we as humans can't take bad news? It's like we hit overload and say no more!! Bring on the skateboarding duck (or whatever the human interest story is that makes us go Awwwwwww).
Take today's news....We are in the grips of a global recession. Over 3.2 million will be unemployed by Xmas. Three security personnel have been killed in Northern Ireland in the last couple of days.
Msn have fantastic News pages and have great writers dedicated to digging further into these issues... so that we can at a finger tip gain the most up to date information to ensure we can live informed lives.
But what have been MSN's most popular New's hits... Some bird threw green custard over Mandelson, Chris Brown has a domestic with his bird, and as a nation we love cheese and onion crisps. Yep I suppose the custard bird had a serious political point somewhere but we just like the HUMILIATION of a pompous politician, and yes domestic violence is terrible.. but we adore watching the SCANDAL, and who doesn't marvel at the switch from ready salted to cheese and onion then???
Thing is bad news is not something that we wish to immerse ourselves in... no matter how beneficial knowledge of the times we live in could be... what we want is stuff we can talk to our hairdressers and cab drivers about.
Yep whilst pinned in the back of black cab, door locked and that sliding partition never closed... you know what is coming... a load of right wing diatribe about how if HE ran the world it would be a better (though I have oft observed less tolerant place)... and it's many many miles to my most south easterly of Lundin overspills! How much easier it is to encourage a cabbie to talk of less complicated matters such as...Mandleson's date with a bowl of green custard..."So... did you catch ol' mandy on the news.. that gal did him good and proper with the green custard!... came out of his suit a treat though... twenty mins later there weren't a trace... awww though it was funny the LOOK on his face when she slung it over him ... brought him down a pegg or two..." A preferable monologue to 'If I ran the world I'd round them all up and Hang the Bastards".
And don't start me on the need to talk to hairdressers. In the same way that a cabbie can NEVER close the partition and just drive... two seconds in the salon chair and some nosey cow wants to know ALL my personal details. Hairdressers have an unnatural need to know your holiday details. For a long while I thought hairdressers were in the employ of burglars such was their insistence of knowing the exact moment you were to leave the country and for how long! However a quick aside to ...Chris Brown's domestic situation and we have "Awww did you see that he beat up his girlfriend... And I liked his 'No Air' too, oh well won't be hearing that on the radio no more... mind you thought she was a bit out of his league though...that's what you get for settling for less...what was she thinking dating a chubby guy that wears too many jumpers"... and I can guarantee you can get a full head of highlights without having to reveal exactly when your house will be empty for a fortnight.
We don't need the news of what is really happening in our little planet so that we can live informed lives. WHO NEEDS TO LIVE AN INFORMED LIFE!!!??? We live to glean the kind of information shown on MSN New's top hits, so that we can discuss it with intimidating service providers!
Global recession, the rise in unemployment, the undermining of the NI peace accord??? who the hell would you discuss THAT with anyway!
I'd love to say I have deep meaningful discussions with my fellow adults but I really don't... I for one am MUCH more interested in the fact the nation has turned it's back on the simply salted crisp in favour of those with the essence of cheese and an onion.
I find this more telling about Britain in the noughties than the politics of the day... maybe that's what we need... more fake flavouring and a whole lot less simplicity!
This to me totally explains the nations obsession with Katie Price, adding wheel trims to production cars and treating Boris Johnson as a serious politician.
Maybe there are more answers in our trivia gathering habits than it first appears? It's a thought!
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