BLOG 136: HUGE

"I just accepted my breasts as a great accessory to every outfit.” Jennifer Love Hewitt

Big Jugs, Hefty Hooters, Monster Melons, Huge Humps, Blazing Bazongas, Colossall Coconuts! WOW!!! Substantial chest furniture just can't go without comment. But did you know 64 million women around the world have breasts over a C cup? it's really not such a rare thing. Some women have big boobs. I thought I'd just say it so we can all get over it. Some of women just do - ok? 64 million may not be the majority of womankind but they really are not freaks... it's just one of the packages women come in. And to be frank it's a highly desirable one.

And yet I know so many girls who just can't get past the physiological problems that go with a large bust.

They just can't get beyond other people's perceptions of their womanly shape... if it's not men leering at their 'fun-bags', it's the-women-puberty-forgot thinking big boobed girls exist only to make them feel bad. The end result is women end up feeling ashamed of the way their body has developed.... some so much so that they consider the surgeons knife.

Is it just me? Doesn't this seem just awful? Any surgery runs the risk of complications, including bleeding, infection, or reaction to the anesthesia. How terrible that women will put themselves through it just because their self esteem has been erroded by other peoples judgements.

One unshakeable truth about other people's perceptions is that they CAN be managed. But in order for this to happen you have to realise the process starts with you. You have to over the fact that people are going to assume you've grown them on purpose. It is possible to live with happily ever after with your chest and not let the haters completely wreck your self confidence. Your boobs after all are a part of you - why risk surgery just because other people have a problem.

Given enough time you WILL get to the place Jennifer Love Hewitt is at.

I know of what I speak. Regular readers would have read Blog 17 (May 2009), where I recounted the high comedy horrors of my first proper bra fitting. To discover that my bodys production of estrogen and progesterone was so superior that as a teen I had rocketed to the 7th letter of the alphabet put me in a place that was not quite in synch with my desire to just blend in. I spent an awful lot of time explaining to people that the existance of my orbs in no way effected the sharpness of my mind or their own self worth. Given time they got over it - and more importantly so did I. I discovered I was free to get on with my life, no surgery required!

It seems odd having to justify the existence of a part of your own body, but once you do, you realise that it takes very little management of it to gain some confidence. It starts with realising that big boobs are nothing more than proof that puberty has happened! They don't have to be on display 24/7 but they don't have to be bound down and shrouded either. It's a challenge sure, but just because it takes some forethought doesn't mean it can't be done.

They say men spend an awful lot of thinking about big boobs... but no one spends more time thinking about them than the owner of a pair! There are a lot of things to think about when you are taking a substantial chest with you into the world, you learn to do routine things quickly so that you can allow for this important process. I'm sure the reason why I can do full hair and make-up restyle in under 10 minutes is that if I only have 30 minutes to get ready... 20 of them are going to be taken up in consultation with my boobs!

With a full chest- it's all about the foundations. Once we big boobed gals have been correctly measured we can stand proud knowing the right bra has removed the physical problems that go with the coveted hourglass silhouette. Without the right support you enter the world of back and neck pain, skin irritation, skeletal deformities and breathing problems . However, even when this is taken care of most big boobed girls suffer from extreme self-consciousness. This is because we are at odds with the wonderful world of standard trend based fashion which is based on a completely different silhouette. And as much as the hourglass was coveted by screen sirens... this type of figure is not easily fashionably clothed.

You just have to accept that the rules for dressing when you have big boobs have nothing to do with rolling trends of fashion. We of course can give nod to the latest trend but we know we have to adapt around a V-neckline, tapered waistlines, trousers that graze the floor when worn with heels, skirts that stop at the knee, tops that are 4-5 inches below the belly button, lapel free jackets, and halter-neck bathing suits. It's an automatic demand that by ownership of this type of figure one must be self confident enough to break the dicates of the fashion of the day. Which is a tad unfair when simply possession of large boobs almost certainly makes the owner extremely self conscious!

But what don't kill you makes you stronger. Like with anything it's a case to learning to accept the deal nature gave you and learning to work with it. And anyway, it's not all doom and gloom...every few years a 1950's inspired fashion trend springs up and it's all nipped in waists ,V-necklines,old skool glamour and we're in clover. A big boobed girl may not be able to be fashionable but she sure can be a style queen. Once we have that covered... we can be fashionista's... well sort of!

Like Jennifer Love Hewitt you just have to learn to let your décolletage accessorise your clothes.

Cause lord knows if you try regular accessories a large bust can turn an ordinary piece of jewellery from a fashionable accessory to a lethal weapon. Believe me I've been there. I arrive at the event looking red carpet perfect(us big boobed girls can fill evening wear like no other). I manage to eat the dinner without loosing half of it in my cleavage, and then it's time for the dancing. Then suddenly someone is screaming with pain....and it's my fault.

Yep. Necklaces(especially long ones)can be lethal when they turn a full chest into a trampoline from which they will bounce and smack passing persons...HARD. They say long necklaces draw the eye away from the bust but whomever 'they ' maybe didn't realise that in addition to whipping people, long necklaces turn into a lasso.... usually hooping one of your assets. That side-show hoopla look isn't great – neither is the swing and slap. But what's the alternative short necklaces that dangle in or get lost inside your cleavage? I remember my all too brief 'rock chick' look which had me wearing crucifixes on short leather chokers only to asked by a rock male of my acquaintance if I was doing so to make the catholic in him feel guilty for looking down my top! I've subsequently found that it's just easier to settle for accessories on the wrist and earlobes and wear my décolletage unadorned.

Thing is with ANY body type there are things you can and cannot do. You just have to learn to love the glories and live with the limitations.

Okay it's a bit of a pain not being able to have that 'Pretty Woman in the Elevator' moment... but let's face facts... no one has ever offered me a necklace that happens to match my frock while I'm in the lift before being taken to the opera.

So.. I can live without necklaces.

Okay it's a bit of a pain not being able to wear high street fashion straight off the peg...but let's face facts... no one ever looked good in those dreadful straight across the décolletage batwing tops (even YOU Agyness Deyn!) It's really not that much of a hardship going for the more flattering V-necks or scoop necklines.

So... I can live without high fashion.

Okay it's a bit of a pain not being able to buy those cheap pretty bras available for the C cup and under brigade...but let's face facts... who needs cheap undies when they can rock expensive lingerie...no one really looks fantastic in the best of Rigby and Peller or Agent Provocateur by filling lingerie with socks.

So.. I can live with a more luxurious rack.

Because of the shape nature gave us bigger boobed girls, we have handful of clothing restrictions to take note of but none of these things is really a genuine pain. Not when you consider how little it takes for us to ramp up the glamour of even the most mundane ensemble. The only genuine pains of having big boobs are when you allow others to pre-judge, pre- package and prevent you from living your life. It's time to stand up straight, shoulders back and accept the package we are in.

Jennifer Love Hewitt highlighted correctly that her breasts are to her a great accessory and not a burden. The hourglass figure remains the western standard of what a woman's body should be, even though only 8%of us actually have it. So frankly those of us lucky enough to be simularly blessed this way should simply just enjoy .

If you enjoyed this blog and you want to contact Jax or find out more about the JaxWorld blog, please log onto : http://thejaxworldblog.vpweb.co.uk/

Thanks for continuing to vote for JaxWorld as The Best Blog about Stuff and for ALL your support that has made this blog such a huge success.