BLOG 77: Start AGAIN...2010

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.” Helen Burdon, Gifted and Talented Consultant Beacon Authority UK

Welcome to 2010. Yippee – a new year… some may even say a new Decade (though there are those who insist that a decade runs year 1 – 10 and not 0-9). But the one thing we all agree on is that January on our calendar does symbolise an opportunity to approach things afresh… that we have the opportunity for a new start.

This means is of course the annual ritual of the Resolution has been upon us. And… if you lot are anything like moi… the annual ‘oh well maybe NEXT year’ has been uttered as old habits are found to be harder to break than they felt while inebriated on New Years Eve.

My friends and I all made our resolutions on NYE whilst in a beautiful conservatory lit by Chinese lanterns. The position of the house to which this construction belonged was fabulous – views across the London Skyline… fireworks leaping into the air and exploding gaily overhead. Given the gorgeous location, flowing booze and the good company, it certainly felt as if all our pronouncements were possible.

I decided to make one huge resolution. I decided that in 2010 I was going to be a better version of me, that I would defy my hardwiring and just be nicer.

On NYE it certainly felt that this would be something I could manage. Surrounded by people who feel like chicken soup for the soul, I could be a nicer version of me. I recall thinking, “Jax, you have a lovely life, full of lovely people, you are very lucky how hard would it be to be a more gentle and lovable soul?”

Actually, VERY hard.

By January 2^nd, I found myself pissed off by the actions of others and back to being snippy, off-hand and easily agitated! I even found myself telling a dear friend that 2010 will be the year where I drop any one who “even slightly pisses me off as I’d rather reduce my inner-circle than be a doormat”. So much for being a more gentle and loveable soul… I lasted a day. (Actually less than a day if we take into account January 1^st’s monumental hangover that rendered the first 14 hours of the first day of 2010 useless)!!

So that’s that for my resolution. I am what I am… emotionally high maintenance. No point trying to pretend otherwise. I should have made a resolution that was actually NOT attempting to defy nature if I had any ambition to keep it.

They do say that if you wish to keep a resolution you should make it a positive statement. Rather than saying I wish to stop being something you should make plans about how to start being something. I had thought I had done that, but in actual fact my resolution was all about trying to stop being a grouch and not about anything practical about being something better.

I have been advised that it is still new year… apparently it is a new year till you hit double figures, then it changes into just the year you happen to be in. So I still have a chance to make a resolution that I have half a chance of being able to maintain. I think also it helps greatly that I am not under the influence of Jaeger-bombs, Vodka and Wine.

So… new year… possibly new decade. What could I possibly swear to attempt to do or be that I can make practical plans for?

Every Xmas Card I have received has wished the same three things for my household – Health, Wealth and Happiness.

I suppose there is a clue there.

Ermm… what can I do about Health? Touching wood, there are no big issues there, but I guess I could make a few minor adjustments to prolong that status quo. You’ll never get me inside a gym, but I guess I could take my bicycle out more. I love food… I love to cook it, eat it, experiment with it… but I suppose I could do so with less cream and wine, maybe once a week.

Wow… that was easy what’s next… Wealth.

Oh CRAP. This means money management doesn’t it?

I do give a nod to money management, I really do. I sit down and work out what is coming in and what is coming out. I juggle and make sure everyone gets paid, the roof stays overhead and the lights stay on. However….I have to admit that when I did the end of year household accounts for 2009 it was a little alarming to see how much money has disappeared into the MISC box.

It is clear that I do not ever consider the financial impact of any purchase before I make it. My purchasing gene is deeply planted in the pleasure centre of my brain. Therefore as a woman with just two feet… I own over 70 pairs of shoes and am in denial about how many pairs of boots I have. As a member of a household of just two people I seem to have everything IKEA ever made for dining… if I laid out all our flatware I could host a street-party without having to borrow a thing! As a non-driver I have a double garage filled with boxes of things I have never used that may just come in useful … but never have. I own all this stuff for one reason… I LIKE TO SHOP.

Clearly, if I am going to go for this health, wealth and happiness thing… I am gonna have to make a resolution here.

Oh crap.

Okay… practical plan for positive movement in this area…. Think…. THINK!!!

Dah...dah…. GENIUS. I wonder WHY I have never thought of this before. I shall use the old wibbly wobbly chant. (Wibbly Wobbly’s were a weight loss group in the 1970’s) From now on when I feel a purchase of ANY KIND coming on I shall ask myself the three questions a Wibbly Wobbly member has to ask themselves before they put anything in their mouth:

1. Do I NEED this?
2. Do I WANT this?
3. Do I DESIRE this?

Wibbly Wobbly’s could only east if they could honestly say No. 1 was the case. I shall henceforth do this with purchasing. (That should greatly reduce the amount of impulse buy candelabras around here as well as increase the coffers!)

Oh boy that was hard. So far, I’m riding my bike more, cooking less extravagantly and only buying things I actually need. Still I suppose this is more likely to be a success than being like the female lead in Enchanted on a daily basis. So what’s next? ….Happiness.

Errr… how on earth do I get to resolve to have more happiness?

Okay, the only way to do this is to look at what makes me unhappy and resolve a practical plan not to go there in 2010.

Top three things that make me go…:0(

1. Being a plan B
2. Camel Poodles
3. Milky tea

Oh dear… we really do not have a deep end, do we Jax?

Well at least I was truthful, yes I could have put third world debt, global poverty and war… but on a day to day basis, do these things actually really impact on my life? Friad not.

But, people who only want me because their first choice let them down, or Camel Poodles (people who appear to be one thing then turn out to be something quite different)… or people who use the tea bag as special guest star in a mug of hot milk and water. OH THESE THINGS DEEPLY UPSET ME!!!!

***… calming deep breaths…***

Okay… practical plan for positive movement in this area…. Think…. THINK!!!

To be happier about being a Plan B: I can’t stop people using me as a plan B… so what can I do to be happier about this occurring? In 2010 I will have to stop thinking about not being a plan A and simply enjoy the fact I have been called upon instead of begrudging it. This is not going to easy, but it is just a mind-set adjustment… besides some of my best moments have been whilst executing my own plan B’s.

To be happier about Camel Poodles. I can’t stop people being Camel Poodles… so what can I do to be happier about the fact they are? I was going to resolve to let them know that they are camel-poodling… maybe the poor sods don’t even know their appearance and actions are so far adrift… but I’m not going to. I think instead for 2010 I’ll resolve to make a note of every Camel Poodle I come across, then avoid them hence forward. I shall approach the experience as a celestial warning rather than a devils torment.

To be happier about milky tea. I can’t stop this nefarious practice…so what can I do to be happier about this happening again. In 2010 I will simply just have to use that odd little zip up bit inside all my handbags… to keep a supply of proper Yorkshire teabags. As soon as my host is distracted a little dunk… and finally a decent cuppa.

HA!!! I’m done.

I think these resolutions are achievable… I’ve looked at where I am now and made practicable plans to get to where I want to be. It is no wonder I failed at the last resolution to be some sort of Disney character being nice to everything and singing to birds, trees or making dresses from curtains! I think lasting to 2^nd January on that plan was a massive achievement!

This time around I feel I’ve made positive action plan to achieve Health, Wealth and Happiness!

2010… I’m riding my bike more, cooking less extravagantly, only buying things I actually need, being positive about being plan b when it happens, recording all camel poodles and carrying my own teabags.

Now THAT is an action plan I think I can follow for 12 months.

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