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Sauff Lundin Overspill, Kent, United Kingdom
I've been told it's like I keep my thoughts in a champagne bottle, then shake it up and POP THAT CORK! I agree...life is for living and havin fun - far too short to bottle up stuff. So POP!...You may think it... I will say it! (And that cork's been popped a few times... check out the blog archive as the base of the page for many more rants and observations!)

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Friday, 18 December 2009

BLOG 75: Let it SNOW!!!!


“Only British Rail could explain away the complete disruption of their services in London and the Southeast because the heavens had dared give them “the wrong kind of snow”. Philip Eden, Journalist, Daily Telegraph.

We do know we are in Northern Europe… honestly WE DO. We know we get four seasons. We know to expect showers and weak sun in spring, showers and hot sun in summer, showers and blowy winds in autumn and snow showers in winter. Yep… mainly we are big on showers. We carry umbrellas for all seasons. BUT... we do know that in the two long seasons we are liable to get sun burnt in one and snowed on in the other. You see, it’s happened before. (Like for about 17,500 years… but who’s counting!) But to be British is talk about the weather…it certainly isn’t to prepare for it!

You see, to be British is to NOT to want to be like those kill joys in mainland Europe who take precautions. We like to approach our weather like a catholic schoolgirl does her lust… we just prefer to HOPE the worst doesn’t happen (even though the evidence that not preparing for the evitable outcome will lead to avoidable misery).

Yes, they do like to be prepared on the mainland…. even sunny Spain owns more snow-ploughs than we do (they had snow in January this year in Madrid and it caused 5hrs of chaos). We had snow in February this year in London and we closed the entire country for a day.

You see, even though we have the best Met Office in the world, and can predict weather fronts at least two whole weeks before ANYONE else. We – as Brits - prefer to be surprised.

For the past couple of weeks our satellites have been giving the met office infrared images that have had SNOW over London and the Home Counties written all over them. Information has been showing the invisible infrared radiation emitted directly by cloud tops/ land/ocean surfaces and all that other meteorological gobbledy gook…. It’s all been translated and put into graphs and pictures. The boffins have put a four letter word underneath each picture… SNOW. Then they put another other word… COMING. Then to make sure one more… SOON. The Met Office doesn’t like surprises (they are still shaken up from the hurricane of 1987!). They wanted us to know that the snow is heading for the M25 orbital motorway that runs around Greater London and we run the risk of snow cutting the Home Counties off from London. They even put the dates we could expect the stuff….Thursday 17th, Friday 18th December 2009.

But like that catholic schoolgirl who wonders where her twins came from… we all got up this morning and discovered that our capital was inaccessible from the Home Counties, cause somehow a big ring of fluffy white stuff had fallen from the sky.

And so just 10 months after the last fiasco where we closed the entire country, we found ourselves no better prepared.

A selection of today’s lovely headlines… with of course a JaxWorld review!

*BREAKING NEWS 6:22am UK, Friday December 18, 2009

Partygoers Stranded

The worsening weather has forced around 1000 people to spend the night trapped at a Xmas party in Kent. The snow meant a road was closed so they couldn't get out after the event.

Now this was the big story when I got up this morning and man it did make me laugh! 1000 people who were stuck at a Xmas Party! Imagine that… end of the night your shoes are killing ya and you’d do anything to be back home with a nice cuppa… UNLUCKY! Imagine having to sleep under the DJ box then having to face last night’s mincepies for breakfast!

*BREAKING NEWS 2:43pm UK, Friday December 18, 2009

More Travel Chaos As Snow Traps Xmas Shoppers

Heavy snow has caused travel chaos around the M25 orbital with hundreds of Xmas shoppers stranded in snow drifts.

It is supposed to be heart wrenching when they told the stories of people stuck in cars full of Xmas shopping on the M25. Failed to touch me though cause I chuckled heartily at the fools who got up this morning saw the snow and STILL though today is the perfect day to go to Bluewater or Lakeside! I do hope their shopping included clockwork radios or at least a little brandy to while away the hours while they wait to be rescued.

*BREAKING NEWS 3:17pm UK, Friday December 18, 2009

Snow Strands UK Airport Passengers: Holidaymakers Now Facing Further Misery

Last night and today’s snowfalls have caused misery for thousands of holidaymakers who turned up at airports to find them either closed or that their flights had been delayed or cancelled.

It’s hard to feel sorry for folks jetting off to sunny climes when we’re left here, but you have to feel for those who struggled to an airport just to get the Joseph and Mary treatment. Luton Airport just gave up and closed for the day, hanging up the “NO ROOM AT THE INN” sign in more than a metaphorical way. . Stansted and Heathrow struggled on, but Gatwick closed for 7 hrs for what looked a snowball fight. I have been instructed to highlight that their spokesman insists that the machinery used for clearing runways really does spit out snow in tight ball shapes.

*BREAKING NEWS 4:59pm UK, Friday December 18, 2009

More Travel Chaos As Big Freeze Continues

More travel chaos is expected this afternoon with more snow on the way as the start of the Christmas getaway begins.

WHO are these people? The rest of us kind of got the idea we had adverse weather when we saw the first snows yesterday and when we drew back the curtains this morning and saw the winter wonderland outside. Why are these people trying to bust out of the M25 orbital regardless? It can’t just because it is on their schedule? This is a little island it don’t take more than a day to get ANYWHERE! Good grief, Christmas ain’t till FRIDAY next week… are you really that homesick or do you have to reserve YOUR slice of turkey a week in advance?!

But I guess there is a serious point. We forked out for the best equipment to predict the weather. We predicted it… and we got it right… then we pretended not to know and we’ve been caught out again. And come the next extreme weather condition we will be again. Being prepared means having something in reserve for the extreme and you know what…. MOST of the time the weather here is unextreme. We know it will shower. It usually does. That’s why we ALWAYS have an umbrella somewhere on our person. We can be prepared if we have to.

But please… we’re British we just can’t do that Mainland Europe thing of planning for every possible “What if”! I mean Madrid buying all those snowploughs… sure they came in handy this January, but they’ll probably rust before they use them again. Yeah… today Britain has gone crazy cause the predicted event happened and we were not prepared… again. So as a consequence we have Kentish ladies in best frocks sleeping in the DJ box, out of town shoppers in cars playing I-spy snowflakes, airport staff clearing the runway one snowball at a time, and homesick northerners trying to bust out of snowbound south regardless.

But today captured in a nutshell what it is to be British. And you know what… I wouldn’t have us ANY OTHER WAY. We are unique, we are fabulous and we (unlike our Spanish cousins) will NOT be frightened by the “WHAT If’s”. Today captured our essence which is (to paraphrase the great Fred Allen)… to be British is to be a member of that group called the unprepared. And each of us is always totally unwilling to do what may just prove to be unnecessary.

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7 comments:

  1. As one of those idiots who went shopping at Bluewater yesterday and DID get trapped in her car, I read this and laughed out loud!
    You are so right Jax IT IS A VERY BRITISH THING to ignore the signs of doom and carry on regardless. And like you I would not change it.
    Anyway I made lots of new friends on the M25 when I was stuck, so it was worthit!
    KT

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  2. This has to be one of my favourite Jaxworld blogs - I can't STAND the national pantomime of being stunned that it's SNOWED! We do live in the northern hemisphere!
    Even if you try you can't be prepared here!I tried to get some grit/gravel to put on my path and the shops 'couldn't say when they'd get more bags in because - they NEVER KNOW what's coming in their deliveries' . Once again, the laws of economics are defied by British retailers - they don't follow the laws of supply and demand like the rest of the world, no, they sell by surprise - every day is like Christmas - you've simply no idea what's in the parcel until you open it - you'd like it to be something you asked for but you'll cope if it's something completely random - GGRRRRRRRR!
    So NO! I'm not enjoying the snow - it looks great, but the roads are treacherous - up here the snow has been iced over and then the snow has melted and then iced over again. SURPRISE!!!!

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  3. Hello there from snowy Italy,
    You’re not the only ones bogged down in snow! Like UK, snow poured from the heavens over here while we were all ‘enjoying’ (well it was a bit better than last year’s) school Christmas show. Anyway after 3 hours we were finally let loose to find our cars, which I couldn’t find (strange how things look completely unrecognisable in white) buried in snow. Me and me high heels had a lot of fun trying to find it, nearly spent the whole night there. Looking like a snowman finally found the car and slipped and slid along winding country roads without street lights to local pizza with company to find whole place overcrowded with people, nothing can stop the Italians when it comes to food.
    Snow is fun for kids, dogs and ‘peter pan’ husbands who like to throw snowballs...not for mums who nevertheless have to brave the roads to get the Christmas shopping. Next morning woke up to winter wonder land but no one could get their cars out because the snow plough, even though done a good job cleaning the road, had shifted the snow into 3ft high mounds along side of road completely blocking everyone’s exit! No one could get out- so like you here on the organised mainland...we had also had a snow-day!

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  4. Nice post!I enjoyed reading it.I love snowy days.For me its like magic.Its like someone waved the wind and the rain converts into fluffy bits of fun.But i think its a momentary feeling of wonder and then wet boots and wet gloves..Cars to sweep off and schools are closed.Things are much pretty in these days.Ne ways i like your post.Thanks for sharing.

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  5. The wrong type of snow is a phrase coined by the British media in 1991 after severe weather caused disruption to many of British Rail's services. People who did not realise that there are different kinds of snow saw the reference as nonsensical; in the United Kingdom, the phrase became a byword for euphemistic and lame excuses.

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  6. Me and my high heels, a lot of fun things to try to find it and almost spent the whole night. Looks like a snowman finally found the car, slipped and slide along a winding country road with no street lights a local pizza company to find the whole place crowded with people, nothing can stop the Italians when it comes to food.

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  7. is very interesting the post i like this info

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