BLOG 73: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YA!!!

“You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone. But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would! You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!:: GEORGE CARLIN, 5 time Grammy winner, actor, author, stand-up comedian and social critic

On Monday, it’s my Birthday.

I was brought up to believe that if you can’t celebrate the day your life started then what the hell else is there that’s gonna get you celebrating. This maxim has seen me well though school, uni and into the workplace.

My ex-colleagues over the years have all approached the first week of December with some dread, knowing they will have to suffer the countdown, the manic build-up and the post birthday period before they will FINALLY be allowed to have Xmas. (You would have noted they would not have to go through the day itself for I have always taken that day off – work is not all about me and my birthday so is therefore they were NOT compatible).

Birthdays are special – your own personal Christmas – where everyone reflects on the world since your arrival and you are… just for a day, emperor of your own personal universe.

I love my birthday. There is something about being born in December means that you REALLY do feel you have waited a whole year for it – the anticipation is huge! Also as the world is in party season anyway, people are up for celebrating. And the shops are so thoughtfully stocked with gifts at this time of year, and people are already in buying mode. I always do very well compared to my friends who have the misfortune to be born in the other 11 months – which have the misfortune of having no such assistance.

By enlarge my birthdays have always been seen as the pre-cursors to the party season. The events run... Jax Birthday, Company Party, Christmas, New Years Eve…. Back to the void till next December.

My mother used to tell me that if you “Cry on your birthday, you’ll cry that whole year through”… so I’ve always tried to be chipper on that day. But emperor of my personal universe or no, some birthdays have just not been as good as others.

Not that I’ve allowed tears to fall on those occasions. But it is harder to have to be your own cheerleader on a day when everyone else should be celebrating YOU.

There are some people who are as bah! Humbug about your birthdays as Scrooge was about Yuletide.

I once had a very cruel and evil boss who hated me who forced me (on pain of dismissal) to work on my birthday. (Though in her defence she was a very anal and stunted human being who recoiled for any kind of joy so she was only trying to make herself feel comfortable by attempting to reduce my Tigger-like bouncing). She soon enough learnt that was pure folly on her part and no boss has ever been so brave to consider such action again!

Then of course you have the accidental backfire that happens on birthdays when people just don’t let you know that are onboard the birthday train soon enough!

I once had a boyfriend who did not understand that I do not do surprises. I am the worse person to mislead into thinking that nothing has been done just for people to be in the other room ready to shout “SURPRISE!!” I woke up at 6.30am… No Card, No Pressie… just some diatribe about how he had to dash to a meeting which would go on all day. I was gutted. I took it that he had forgotten. Of course, at 11.30am, a huge delivery of my favourite things arrived (I hate cut flowers…my poor boyfriend have always had to work a bit harder). At 6.30pm he assembled everyone we knew in a restaurant for a surprise party then came home at his regular time of 7.30 to take me along for what he was going to mislead me to believe was an intimate diner for two.

Sounds great… but unfortunately at 8.00am, I booked myself onto the Eurostar and went to Paris for the day. I had a great time spoiling myself and flirting wildly with French Men… I got home just after midnight, knackered so although my ansaphone was blinking furiously, I went straight to bed. It was the following day when I took the missed delivery card to the post office and got my Fortnum’s and Masons hamper I realised I may have missed something. That was when I felt I should play my messages and found out about the party. OOPSI!

However, leading someone to feel crushed, forgotten and abandoned in the name of a surprise means that you expose yourself to the risk of them finding something better to do. So “Vive la France” on that point!

Mostly though people are pretty much guided to how to treat you on your birthday by how you convey you feel about your birthday.

Yes, of course… birthdays after your twenties are more a sign of your mortality than an achievement! No one really frets about being 18-24. A frisson runs through you when you realise you have to tick the next box up on the form (25 and over) but it really isn’t until you reach the third adult age group that your relationship with age changes for ever. The late George Carlin gets it spot on in the quote I started this blog with!

But like he says… each year IS an achievement… a cause for celebration…YAY I MADE IT THOUGH ANOTHER YEAR. It’s always good to live – get older…what other choice is there?

After 30 you start noticing that you have out lived your heroes…

Get to 35 and you beat: Sylvia Plath (30)Poet and author, Brian Epstein (32)Beatles manager Bruce Lee (32)Martial arts actor, Karen Carpenter (32)Singer and musician, Keith Moon (32)Rock drummer, Carole Lombard (33)Actor, Jesus Christ (33)Founder of Christianity, John Belushi (33)Comedian/actor, Sam Cooke (33)Soul musician, Charlie Parker (34)Jazz saxophonist, Jayne Mansfield (34)Actor .

Get to 40 and you beat: Bob Marley (36) Reggae musician, Marilyn Monroe (36) Actor, Michael Hutchence (37) Rock musician, FLO-JO (38)

Olympian/sprinter, George Gershwin (38)Composer, John F. Kennedy, Jr. (38) President USA, Anna Nicole Smith (39) Model/actor, Dennis Wilson (39)Rock 'n' roll drummer, Malcolm X (39)Militant civil rights leader, Martin Luther King, Jr. (39) Civil rights activist/minister .

They all may have achieved during their lives… but theirs were short. If yours is not… get of your big fat but and PHARTAY!!!

I love my birthday. I love the season in which my life started… it seems so apt… winter is a time when life seems to be dormant… but that is just an illusion for the unobservant! Winter is a time when stuff happens! Me arriving being just one of those things.

Yes… it’s a case of getting older... and yay that idea…. They say biggest victory you have in this life is to live another day. I say, the how much bigger is that victory when you have made it through 365 of them!!!

So…I’m off to get this gals party STARTED!!! So I think I will hand over this blog to some people who can wrap this up nicely for me… Ladies and Gentlemen I give you….The Arrogant Worms…

Once a year we celebrate,

With stupid hats and plastic plates,

The fact that you were able to make

Another trip around the sun.

And the whole clan gathers ‘round,

And gifts and laughter do abound.

And we let out a joyful sound

And sing that stupid song.

Happy birthday!

Now you’re one year older.

Happy birthday!

Your life still isn’t over.

Happy birthday!

You did not accomplish much.

But you didn’t die this year, I guess that’s good enough.

So let’s drink to your fading health,

And hope you don’t remind yourself,

Your chance of finding fame and wealth,

Decrease with every year.

‘Cause if you feel you’re doing laps,

And eating food and taking naps,

And hoping that someday perhaps

Your life may hold some cheer.

Happy birthday!

What have you done that matters?

Happy birthday!

You’re starting to get fatter.

Happy birthday!

It’s downhill from now on.

Try not to remind yourself your best years are all gone.

If cryogenics were all free,

Then you could live like Walt Disney.

And live for all eternity,

inside a block of ice.

But instead your time is set.

This is the only life you get.

And though it hasn’t ended yet,

Sometimes you wish it might.

Happy birthday!

You wish you had more money.

Happy birthday!

Your life’s so sad it’s funny.

Happy birthday!

How much more can you take?

But your friends are hungry, so just cut the stupid cake.

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Dear… JAX..JAX…JAX…JAX…..

JAX?

JAX WORLD WILL RETURN AFTER THE BIG BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS WHICH WILL GO ON FOR A WEEK: THE GIRL LOVES BIRTHDAYS!!! However…JaxWorld has been nominated for ‘Best Blog about Stuff’ in the Bloggers Choice Awards. If you enjoy this blog please vote for it using the following link:

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