"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in this arena,who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again;because there is not effort without error and shortcomings" Theodore Roosvelt
As
you all know I have quite a few freelance gigs putting words in the
mouth of various corporations. One of my favourites is for a big internet
dating corporation. I have long harboured a desire to be an agony aunt ever
since I heard the late great Claire Rayner say "Just talk about it
huni". Obviously lacking any form of psychological training this was
something I was and remain entirely unqualified for. However given the
wonderful world of the interweb... scribblers like me get the
opportunity to be published taking about all kinds of stuff and that particular gig does give me the chance to pontificate on the relationship arena. (AT LAST!)
In
my duties for the dating site, I trawl the stats which are gleaned from
their database in order to get a fix on how the current thinking of the
populace is about the world of dating and matrimony.
Tell
ya something though... you don't half come across some startling and
often rather contradictory facts when you run the percentages from all
that data.
One
of my faves was that 15% of the women who completed forms (and we are
talking a site with MILLIONS of women on it)…. yep 15% ...said that they
would REFUSE (yep refuse, not decline, not prefer not to...REFUSE) to
date a man from Liverpool. Thank heavens Sir Paul McCartney found love
again and is remarried, cause if he were on the site he'd be struggling
for a date!
In
case you are wondering what the women were really excited about... well
80% said that they would have sex with a man because he was (wait for it....) Italian.
Worrying fact that... but TOTALLY explains the whole appeal of Silvio
Berlusconi, cause for the life of me I could not understand why those
women were hurling themselves into his bed!
It's
weird what the men actually believe too... like 80% of them actually
stating that they believe exhibiting strength totally impresses women! Where
do they get that from?? 90% of women completing the forms said the thing
that most impressed them about men was - an exhibition of wealth!
Oooooh... now I see how Sir Paul managed to pull wifey no.3... he may be
a scouser with zero italian blood... but he does have a couple of quid!
Now
then if that makes women sound shallow, that's not the whole story....
you can't just take one fact in isolation... so here's a few (draw your
own conclusions):
- The average woman takes 60 minutes to get ready for a first date
- 50% of women will brush their teeth before a date
- 3 out of every 5 women say wearing a brand new item on that date boosts their confidence
- If they fancy their date 4 out of 5 women will not order garlic
- 1 out of every five women believe the date will end in sex
- The average British woman has 20 sexual partners in a lifetime
So …. while you cogitate on those statistics.... this is what the men who filled in the same forms said:
- The average man takes 10 minutes to get ready for a first date
- 80% of men do not brush their teeth before a date
- 1 in three men have a pair of lucky dating pants (1 in 15 admit to NEVER washing them)
- 80% of men who fancy their date will still order garlic laced food
- 4 out of every five men believe the date will end in sex
- The average British man has 12 sexual partners in a lifetime
You thinking what I'm thinking?.... Mars? Venus?.... actually no apparently we are all from earth!
Here's
some stuff that is not gender related... Did you know that those
school sweethearts who carry on dating into adulthood are quite rare? So
few of them carry on to the happy ever after with a clutch of
bridesmaids and groomsmen... just one in 50! Sadly half of those
marriages go on to end in divorce. But no worries, 7% of all married
couples met at secondary school reunions.... even if 20% of them were
actually married to someone ELSE at the time!
If
school wasn't a great pulling zone (mine wasn't - 2100 girls and not a
boy in sight took care of that!)…. there is always the workplace. 80%
of all people claim to scope out the workplace for potential partners.
It's a tricky balance with 50% of all work related flings ending within
31 days. Even for those who make it up the aisle after their eyes met
over the In-tray...25% of them will be doing paperwork to ensure they
never ever see each other again.
Actually
one in twenty ended relationships (no matter where the couple met) will
end with someone taking out a restraining order! However I am glad to say that Police stats confirm that permanent
removal of an ex is still extremely rare - only ONE in 200,000 people
take the murder option. The traditional cure
for a broken heart seems to be the seaside... three out of every five
broken hearted people will take a beach holiday to get over it (and a
third of them will have a holiday romance).
Oh...
remember that figure about whether or not the date will end in sex.... despite what both genders may think
41% of 1st dates statically end that way!... but hilariously 20% of all
sexually active adults admit to pretending to have an STD to escape
this!
Date expectations though gave me a big chortle.
One
in every five men will buy their dates flowers. If they've ever
wondered about the luke warm response (come on ...she looks at them, she
smiles... then she dumps them on the counter over her shoulder!)… it's
because statistically... 50% of women admit to preferring alcohol or
chocolate to flowers!
Bad
behaviour on dates seems to have the same culprit! 50% of men blame
bad form on a date on excessive alcohol where as 80% of women think
excessive dutch courage made them act like a total pillock!
Women
sneaking out of date or faking an emergency to get out of a date that
is not living up to expectations is much rarer than I thought - only one in every ten women will do this. I assume this means that they will
suffer through a crappy date (but bearing in mind 4 out of every 5 men
think they are going to have sex... I now understand why suddenly these
women are pretending to have an STD!)
Men
are fabulously honest when sent on a blind date. Only 80% of them will
actually introduce themselves to the girl if she doesn't look visually
appealing. YUP! 20% will scarper!!! And if you think that it's about
the bad choice of outfit the blind date is wearing.... NOPE. 2 out of
every 3 men admit to rarely noticing what a date is wearing! I wonder
if they could tell her personality from just looking then...LOL!
Talking
of personality, 2 out of every 3 men say they regularly fantasize about
what sex with an assertive non-dependent woman would be like. It
features highly on their desirable personality traits. Conversely 2 in
every 3 men say they feel entirely intimidated and emasculated by
assertive non-dependent women.
Only
3% of women say that they have no problem at all with making the first
move when it comes to approaching a man they find attractive. And yet
statistics show clearly that 7% of women had actually got the ball
rolling themselves. Me thinks someone somewhere was not telling the
truth?
Truth
was a doozy.... 60% of all people in relationships say truth is the
most important thing and any breach of the truth is a deal breaker.
Which is odd as 73% of all people in a relationship say that white lies
are essential to maintaining a healthy relationship! 90% of people
believe their partners to be less than 100% truthful and 75% admit to
regularly lying to their other half.
Lying
to friends seems to be essential too, at least when it comes to
admitting being sexually stirred up by a close friends partner. 90% say
they would not tell a friend they fancy their partner, but 22% admit to
feeling hot under the collar in the presence of their friends amore!...
worse still 8% of those 'best friends' will act upon those sexual
feelings.
But here's a odd fact:
Only
14% of all marriage break-ups actually involve a male friend of the
wife. Yet 50% of married men say that they feel that their relationships
are threatened by these men. Irrational maybe chaps?
Friends
in couples seem to be the biggest enemy of singleton. 93% of all single
people felt their single status was most commented on by their friends
in couples. 87% of all single people admitted to feeling least
comfortable when in the company of couples. 41% of couples believed that
they knew best when it came to choosing a partner for their friend.
Only 15% of couples felt that they would be comfortable with that friend
choosing a partner for them if the situation were reversed.
Valentines
day though seemed to be the funniest thing when it came to the old
Baden Powell adage "be prepared". When asked in October, 90% of women were
expecting their man to make a romantic gesture on 14th February. Only 20% of
men when asked in October claimed to have plans to do so. But no
worries about the Valentines day massacre that follows this imbalance in
expectation (for heaven sake men... vodka, chocolate DONE DUSTED!...you
WILL be one of the 41%...Simples!)… any way, statistic's show the 10%
of all broken relationships do get back together (even if 20% of these
end within 60 days!).
Love
is bonkers. I think that explains my favourite statistic. Maybe the
being totally overwhelmed leads to not being in their right mind.
Because....
A
massive 30% of all women surveyed had shopped for their wedding dress
BEFORE even being proposed to. And in case you think they are just
window shopping or having a fun day trying things on while waiting for
their soul mate to pop the question.... NO! Guess what... 17% of ALL
wedding dresses purchased absolutely NEVER get worn in a marriage
ceremony.
Part
of that reason is reflected in the least ticked box, which asked about
Soul Mates. Only 15% of all surveyed claimed to have found him or her.
In fact the whole dating thing was deemed to be far too emotionally
overwhelming by 5% of all persons who completed the forms. And yeah 5% =
100,000 people!
BUT
What
was amazing is that 70% of all surveyed still believe that their
personal soul mate DOES exist. And more than that, 95% say that despite
all the statistics they will continue to date until they find true
happiness.
In face of the facts and evidence that the odds are completely stacked against them... they err , come short of stacking up, and go back into the fray again and again... with fire in their belly to find The One. They have nothing in their arsenal other than a complete trust or confidence based on their own spiritual apprehension rather than genuine proof.
Here's a final statistic for you:
Jax thinks that kind of blind faith is rather lovely ... 100%!
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