"Whenever a taboo is broken, something good happens, something vitalising. Taboos after all are only hangovers of fearsome people who hadn't the courage to live" Henry Miller. Author Extraordinaire.
My friend and I were watching TV at her house and the adverts came on. Now I do have to admit that ‘the ads’ are sometimes the best thing on TV. While many use the commercial break as an opportunity to refill the tea cup, run to the loo, or make a quick phone call – the ads have an avid viewer in me.
I find few things as accurate at showing where we are as a nation as watching television commercials. The development of
My friend became quite agitated at the three adverts that had just past and quickly picked up the remote and pressed mute. (Never a good sign when a woman does that – always means a rant is coming).
“OH MY GOD!!! I hate those ads!!! – what’s the time?”
Although not quite getting the correlation between adverts and the time of day I promptly informed her it was 6.45. (15 minutes before seven in the evening for my American readers).
“Quarter to Seven on a Saturday Night and they are showing THAT… I mean ANYONE could see… have they NO shame??”
In the ensuing rant it became clear that my friend had become agitated over the product advertised in the past three advertisements.
- A lady shaver that had a pubic hair attachment
- A new brand of tampons
- An absorbent panty pad for female incontinence
My friend (who is younger than me) went on to add that it’s not fair on men to sit and relax in their own homes on a Saturday evening and be bombarded with information about what she views as ‘Lady Issues’.
“They used to be more sensitive about this stuff, never put it on TV… it should be advertised in Women’s magazines…somewhere where men and innocent children don’t have to see it”
I have to admit laughing at my friend and proceeded to call her Grandma for the rest of the evening. But it did get me thinking about how and why it is that suddenly we The Uptight Brits are no longer so uptight (my friend aside) about Women’s Things.
Women’s Things have always been shrouded in mystery. The workings and applications of Women’s Things have historically been shrouded even from young females…until they reach ‘the age’ where it is considered wise to inform them.
By Women’s Things I don’t mean strappy sandals, mascara or bottles of Lambrini. I mean biological things that happen to women and all the equipment that goes with it. Menstruation with it’s strange apparatus of white cotton plugs, towels, wings and strings, Hair Removal with it’s waxes, creams, lotions and razors, to say nothing of the variety of Secretions, Discharges, Hormone Imbalances, Fluid Retentions and Leakages. Then of course the BIG one… the one that all the above is linked to – Reproduction. These are things that concern women… and had certainly never been considered by either sex to be the business of men.
Till about 1975.
Because in 1975, someone considered it may be quite a nice idea if women want an input along with the men on decisions that start wars and lead to death and destruction, wouldn’t be only fair if men got involved in reproduction which after all is the most important decision in the world. British Women (who like most western women had their complaints about male oppression acknowledged) wanted equal opportunity and we all know fairness and equality doesn’t work well without swopping taboos for knowledge.
So Women’s Things came out of the mud hut at the end of the village and into the main cut and thrust of everyday life.
It all started with changing men’s approaches to the making of babies.
Now to my fathers generation this new development had come comfortingly a little late. The women of their age group had been trained to just deal with ‘it’ and they as men were expected to do was to keep their heads down and avoid annoying ‘her indoors’. Being pregnant was something that happened to women and women alone. It was widely understood that there would be some physical discomfort but the reward was they also would experience the miracle of making a whole new person. And who was a mere man to disturb that kind of deal. It could be expected that occasionally a father would change a nappy or bottle feed once the offspring arrived. Of course at some point most fathers were expecting to have an influence in the offspring’s development but active involvement at the messy end was not a requirement of men making babies.
But for the fathers that followed that generation the chivalrous offering of seating, lifting heavy objects, carrying the shopping and nipping to the pub for a few pints while she popped his offspring out – was no longer enough. That a man could no longer say “I got her pregnant” – he was to declare “WE are pregnant”. And for him to do that he must shake off the mantle of supporting voyeur and become involved. And to become involved meant men were supposed to share the WHOLE experience: go to antenatal classes, understand morning sickness, tiredness, mood swings and be ready with surgical implements to cut to cord. Gold stars would be given to those who could rustle up a hearty stew that incorporated the nutritional placenta. They were to be familiar with what to do with the issue of breast pumps. And of course (to give the mother a deserved break), fathers were now supposed to strap their mewling babies to their chests, and stalk of to the chemist in search of jumbo panty pads.
What was so amazing about this radical suggestion to invite men into what was previously a women-only zone… was how readily men embraced it. In fact any man who did not was referred to as ‘an insensitive Neanderthal” (by other men as well as female folk!)
So with both men and women on board of the procreation express it didn’t take long for all the other women only issues to suddenly become men’s business too. Next stops… Menstruation, Female Incontinence, Pubic Hair Removal and terminating at Menopause.
My friend objected to the advertisements which suggested life goes on whether you are having a period, suffering from urine leaks, or asked to slip into a Brazilian bikini! She felt on an early Saturday evening when the TV audience would certainly include Men and children, such adverts should be treated with some delicacy. Well she may have a point about the lack of delicacy… these advertisements do not pull punches about their subject matter or what the product is for.
Tampax are happily showing an advertisement where a pop star gets her period in the middle of shooting a promo whilst wearing all white with a boy leaning into her lap. Of course for her life carries on. The old fashioned way of life stopping because of this occurrence is represented in the advertisement by an out of touch middle aged lady from the 1950’s.
There is little acknowledgement given to a taboo about female incontinence caused by weakened pelvic floors. Post child birth ladies ride camels, abseil and go salsa dancing in absorbent Tena Lady Panty Pads and we are reliably informed that no ‘odour’ can be detected whilst wearing the product. For Tena Ladies at least a very full and active life goes on.
And we all know the advertisement where the bushes get trimmed and women are informed that ‘What ever your style’ Wilkinson Sword’s new bikini line shaver will ensure your pubic hair will be as neat as topiary.
The thing is I just can’t see that bringing these issues that affect every female once womanhood is bequeathed to her is actually a bad thing. So what if the boys are looking!
I recall the boys of my youth happily singing along with a radio jingle “Sylphs… Simplicity it self!” while their fathers cringed at the very thought of their son even knowing the name of a major brand of sanitary towel let alone finding it’s radio jungle melodic! Of course we have come along since then… now the word ‘period’ is said so often on TV there is no need for the euphemisms of my youth ‘time of the month’ , ‘monthly visit’ ‘on the rag/blob’. Period is now an acceptable term in polite company. And so it should be… face facts if you are in a room with women under 60 it is likely someone is having a period. What is so wrong about advertising the merits of the various products on TV so she can make an informed choice about what to buy to assist her.
I do get my friends point that advertising is about life-style choices and ‘Women’s Things’ are NOT life style choices. I agree. But because we can now advertise ‘Women’s Things’ on TV what products we buy to deal with them IS.
And THAT has to be a good thing.
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