“Youth is wasted on the young” “…and we remember we must think about things as they are, not as they are said to be.” George Bernard Shaw
Stupid the things you waste time worrying about when you are young.
I had the great joy of running a nostalgia list with a friend of mine today and we just about fogged the car up with laughter. (It’s been a wickedly rainy day today).
It all started when we watched the twenty-somethings trotting by in giddy heels and synched in macs, desperately trying to keep back the howling winds with nothing more than flimsy brolly. Beah and I sat in the car dressed as deep sea trawler men and looked at our attire and then out again at the fashionistas.
“No wonder we’re properly dressed we must be twice the age they are now” said Beah drolly
“No wonder they’re soaked they must be twice as stupid as we are now” said I
We smiled at each other as only those who have not only got the tee-shirt but starred in the bio-pic can.
“When was it you realised it was better to be dry and unfashionable than fashionable and auditioning for pneumonia?” Beah asked as yet another pretty young thing tried to dash in the rain whilst wearing kitten heels.
“Around the same time I figured that simply the possibility that I may get naked sometime was more important to a bloke than this seasons slingbacks” I answered looking down at my wellies.
“Ah... ya sexy beast!” laughed Beah
Like I said… the car was fogged up with our laughter.
But that’s the thing… when you’re young you’re pretty clueless as to your own power and assume that everything that counts must be external.
I guess for the most part, it’s probably true… when you’re twenty something practically everything in your life to date has been set up to let you know you do not know best. From parents to school, to uni, to starter jobs…. everything you’ve ever done is add external things to base. It’s a pattern that will go on for sometime… till you realise the value of what you started with.
I think one of the best things about getting older is knowing that wisdom will never come to anyone before a certain passage of time… no matter how often someone tries to give you the heads up.
I was always the baby of the group amongst my friends. Then somewhere along the line, I became I became the same age as most of my friends, now I rank up with the oldest in the crowd. It was a gentle undulating tide that wore out some friendships and washed in some new blood… you never actually notice it happen.
Looking back though I recall older friends saying to me that the day would come when I’d see the value of the wisdom they tried to impart. It wasn’t that I didn’t listen… it was just like all the generations tat had come before me,,, I was as old as I had ever been and actually thought I was a grown up. Of course if we labelled people like we do new drivers, I’d be only up to provisional licence by my late twenties.
Beah and I started looking back at the things we thought were undeniable truths when we were twenty something… and quite frankly nearly became incontinent with mirth.
So with apologies to all my under 30 readers (but face facts you – like we did when we were your age- will assume that I’m too old to say anything that applies to your life)… here are a few…
Belief 20-30: I look awful.
Nothing that nature gave me is good enough. I need to straighten or bleach something, conceal something, diet and colour something in.
Now: Oh bloody hell… apart from some pretty doggy fashion choices, looking back at those photos… I looked fabulous, there was a luminance that can never be recaptured… ah yes it’s called youth!
Belief 20-30: Never embarrass yourself
Don’t ask a celebrity for their autograph or photo – how UNCOOL! Don’t talk about sex, politics or religion. Keep your voice down -people are listening. Don’t talk to strangers. Don’t do cinema/ bars/ restaurants/ holidays alone.
NOW: Get the proof of the moment if not for yourself to reflect on when you’re older and greyer…ummm EBAY!!! And talk about WHAT the weather?...these three subjects are the acid test of every person on the planet…don’t you want to know…what REALLY?! Some points have to be made loudly; it conveys passion… and so what if someone listens…invite them into the conversation! A stranger truly is just a friend you haven’t met yet. Life doesn’t always have to be a compromise, doing things on your own means you can do them they way YOU want.
Belief 20 – 30: This will do for right now
What ever this is that is not quite living up to my expectations is only a short-tern thing. I’ll just stand still in this moment for a little while till something better comes up.
NOW: Jeez I was a stooped bimbo! If it isn’t working it’s because it doesn’t work. Everything you do in this part of your life lays the foundations for the rest of it, now why lay dodgy foundations! And incidentally… it’s NEVER just a moment... and something better will NEVER just come up! …ah yes it’s called get of your arse and JFDI!
Belief 20-30: I will be slim if I wear smaller/larger clothes
Feeling a bit porky at size 12 – instant weight loss by squeezing into a Size 8….ahhh look at the original supermodel. Ahh… alternatively wear something baggy over something tight to give the illusion of a skinny person just slobbing out.
NOW: I am 2 sizes bigger than I was in my twenties but more people think I am slender because my clothes actually FIT… what the hell was I thinking walking around like an overstuffed sausage tube . Mind you the too tight was better than the candyfloss ball on a pipecleaner look... WTF??? I’ll say it again…wear the size clothes that you are so that they FIT your shape.
Belief 20-30: Other people’s excuses are valid
The dog died, they are exhausted from [fill in with complicated story], you would have been first choice if only it wasn’t for [fill in with name of person who got what you wanted]. Sometimes it doesn’t work out, but if you don’t make a fuss and wait patiently your turn will come.
NOW: If you are worth making an effort for, people will make the effort. SIMPLES!!! People always put someone first sometime, for those who are worth it they get over dead dogs and exhaustion… why not for you?
Belief 20-30: That was far too long ago
The world I am living in is unique and crazy and TOTALLY unconnected to the past, so I can learn NOTHING from a load of crap that happened before I was born.
NOW: oh get over yourself you arrogant sh*t! Nothing is unique, nothing is that crazy…everything has happened before. The 1980’s were the 1960’s and they were just the 1920’s which in turn were just… (You get the point). Recycling ain’t nothing new, people have been recycling being young and hip and trendy forever. As for sex – nothing you are doing hasn’t been done before, as for politics – no trends there that weren’t called something else before and as for religion – look at them all in date order and see what I mean. If you want to know what will happen tomorrow…take a good long look at yesterday – today.
Belief 20-30: I need clothes to just chill out in
Big, baggy, and available in colours not found in nature. These items could be made of material s also found in home furnishings.
NOW: Repeat after me… YOU ARE NOT A SOFA!!! Why did I feel the need to dress in velour, but also what was the point of clothing designed to make me look unattractive and feel fat. Best advice I ever have had is… “If a camera crew knocked on your door – could you handle it?”. Dressed in “chill out clothes”??? Need I answer? I’m not saying that one should not take it down to netural when at home with no plans, but really…spending money on outfits that even looked awful in the shop? – MADNESS… as my best friend once said to me “But why didn’t you just buy something nice?”
So… this afternoon, Beah and I were driving back from Kent on a very wet, windy November afternoon, thinking back to our halycon days… remembering how we never liked the way we looked, that we were too self conscious to embrace the moment, that we wasted years on the mundane, wore the wrong size clothes, accepted rubbish excuses, didn’t learn from the past and really thought electric blue velour tracksuits were essential for relaxation. We laughed a lot. We both uttered how youth was wasted on the young and wished we had a little more wisdom and a whole load more guts back then.
But really… given the choice of kitten heels or wellies in the rain.. I think we were pretty glad to be in our own shoes so to speak.
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