BLOG 50; THE WIDE AWAKE CLUB

““Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.” Fran Lebowitz American Author and sardonic social commenter

I don’t do sleep.

Okay that is not entirely true. Of course I sleep, I’m not a robot. But it’s just that traditional sleep is not something I part-take in anymore.

I did sleep just fine until the end of my 1^st quarter century. In fact for the first 25 years of my life I could have slept for Britain, should there ever have been a need. I once slept through a hurricane, and awoke the next morning to miles of devastation, no radio or tv… and assumed I was a nuclear survivor! But since I turned 26… my average has been somewhere between 3 – 5 hrs, not a moment of which could actually be described as traditional quality sleep.

This bizarre affliction means that my mind hovers in a netherworld of semi consciousness whilst the rest of my body lies at rest. I imagine those in a near death state must have much the same experience… I can’t open my eyes, I can’t operate my body for those hours of non sleep – but hear everything going on around me, and I have opinions form in my head which I am powerless to express or act upon. But unlike the near dead suddenly the vice like grip on my physical being is released and I leap out of bed.

Now if I went to bed at midnight, this means I leap from my bed somewhere between 3 and 5 in the morning. A tad early to start ones day.

If I were not an insomniac, I would look at the clock, and get right back under the covers, and force myself back to sleep – or at least rest till more appropriate hour arrives. But if I do this there will be only one result.. migraine of an epic proportion. Even though my brain did not shut down during the 3 – 5 hrs it’s container lay on pillow – it simply does not want any more bed time… it wants to do stuff. When I disobey it quite literally kicks my head in till I get up!

What is even more bizarre is that when I springboard from my rest pit (as I affectionately call my bed) – is that my physical body feels totally refreshed. I have none of the symptoms of someone who has not had the traditional 8hrs. Bright eyed and bushy tailed is an accurate description.

Strange. Try googling insomnia. There is NOTHING positive to say about the condition. The general medical consensus of opinion is that sleep/good – insomnia/bad. The white coat brigade claim insomnia often signals other medical or psychiatric problems, particularly in women. They claim a savvy practitioner of medicine should be able to diagnose and treat an underlying problem that would otherwise escape detection once a patient admits sleepless nights. Medical evidence also suggests that people who consistently get too little sleep may be at risk of heart disease, diabetes, and obesity. And all the men and women with white coats say lack of sleep means that you will feel tired the next day.

Well with the exception of when I last got made redundant (when I slept 8-9hrs per night for about three weeks) – I have not had a full nights sleep for years, and have never felt tired in the morning. Funny enough, that 21 nt period of long sleep left me absolutely shattered during the day and prone to little nap attacks every time I sat down.

Over the years I have been through just about every treatment for insomnia. From traditional medicine, to alternative therapy, to even seeing a hypnotherapist… and not one long term effect. My favourite was when a doctor claimed I was suffering with OSA (a condition where people stop breathing momentarily during sleep because their airway becomes blocked when muscles in the throat relax. They may briefly wake up dozens of times a night to breathe, though they generally won't realize it). All that happened was the extra hormones he gave me increased my bust size! (…and they say you get nothing from the NHS these days!!!)

Finally it was agreed that I am just one of those people who are unable to achieve a traditional night’s sleep but can lead perfectly normal life. Interesting my doctors have all told me that as long as I refrain from using sleeping pills and maintain my sleep average of 3.5 hrs or higher, my lack of sleep can in fact extend my life! Not only do I gain a few extra hours a day of consciousness – those folks who get 8.5 or more hours of sleep per night die 15% earlier than those who don’t. They haven’t a clue why but there does appear to be an increase in longevity of life span in people with my sleep pattern.

I had no alternative but to think to myself that rather than have been cursed… I have been given an amazing gift!

Not only am I gonna out live my snooze-bunny pals… I have an extra few hours a day on them too!!!

So… what on earth do I do with the bonus gift of the hours before dawn?

Firstly I look to the sky and say THANK YOU. I get extra time to clear the decks so that when the day starts for real.. I’m ready for it. Well, think about all the things you have to do that just eats into your day… things you have to do… but don’t enjoy. So I clear as many boring tasks that I can.

And for this one I again look to the sky… well Sky Broadband!

The paying of bills has to be the most boring thing on earth – next to food shopping. I’m pleased to say that thanks to the internet… I can transfer money to whom ever I owe, do the household accounts and go shopping for the necessities of life. Ever wondered why it is when you go online to do the household shopping that all the best delivery slots are always gone? It’s cause you were asleep when they put them online! It seems rude for me not to nab the best slots!

Also, uploading photographs and other time consuming computer related tasks seem to just go at rocket speed at that time in the morning… seems that with most northern Europe giving their keyboard stabbers a rest, high speed broadband is standard no matter what your service provider!

Also, with some minor household adjustments, I can kill even more boring tasks.

I hate laundry. I don’t understand why, but my laundry basket never is empty. If you ignore it …it fills itself with clothes you’ve never seen before in your life and insists you wash, dry, and iron them. Okay that is a bit of an exaggeration… they ARE our clothes… but hell… do we really soil that many outfits in a week? Even with the advent of the washing machine, you are a slave to laundry… you pop in a load.. and you are paralysed till it have finished the cycle less it stays in the drum too long and starts whiffing like sour rags. Then you have to hang the buggers out to dry and keep an eye out for the English weather gods noticing – cause sure as eggs are eggs… a heat wave will end if you hang out a shirt to dry. Then you have the monstrous pile of creased cloth to smooth into recognised item of clothing. For laundry alone… I can see why houses have wives.

The minor household adjustment?… replumb the washing machine into the garage.

Why?

Cause I don’t sleep, and my neighbours and my son do. Now in the soundproofed world of my garage at 3.15… I have a load in. Oh and the air in the early hours is perfect… breezy and fresh. Perfect for drying clothes. I can get two loads done and out on the line before dawn. And boring things like curtains and upholstery… you can have them cleaned, dried, ironed and back in situ before breakfast.

And while the machine churns… another job that my real life is far too short to allow time for has to be dusting and polishing. To spend any of my real life picking up each individual item I own and brushing it with feathers … oh please! Now if I was rich that would be the FIRST thing I’d pay someone else to do for me. Also the smell of all the different polishes, waxes and cleaners today’s surfaces demand… yeuk! I can get everything clean and retire to the garden to hang out a finished load and enjoy a cool fresh morning dewed lungful of air, whilst the cleaning agents calm down a bit!

On the subject of morning dew. Spending time in your garden at that curious time of day is extraordinary.

Firstly it’s the silence.

I live on the edge of one of the biggest cities on earth. In my opinion the best city on earth. But it's not a quiet one. There is a constant hum of life going on between 6.30am and 2.30am. 11,917,000 people living in 659 sq miles will do that. But in the build up to 3am… most of those people are asleep. And the city takes a quiet breath. Between 3-6am… the city is as peaceful as snoozing kitten. It is a beautiful sound. Plus with the lights of a zillion buildings shut off – the sky above us becomes visible in way it seldom can be viewed. The Yanks yapp on an on about Cassiopeia which on a clear night ins a constellation of stars you can see from New York. Cassiopeia is named for a boastful queen who got her daughter and husband into a whole heap of trouble with her big mouth. But did you know the constellation Cepheus can be seen with the naked eye from London. The stars of Cepheus form a shape approximately like a box with a triangle on top. When fainter stars visible to the naked eye are included, Cepheus can be interpreted as looking like a king with a crown. I find it telling that the Yanks have a vain greek queen… but we have her long suffering husband… the king who had to sort the mess she caused out.

I love to sit and look at the stars… Cepheus has a particular red star I look out for… so beautiful… so ancient… so far away. It’s in many ways more restful and peaceful a thing to be doing than joining the millions who fight demons in their imagination whilst apparently sleeping.

It’s odd. When friend discover that I don’t sleep they are so fast to offer yet another medical solution. For years I really did think that I was losing out on something by not being able to sleep.

But now when I look at my condition I really do not see a problem. I’m not tired, I don’t feel ill, and half the medical profession and its alternative buddies have given me a clean bill of health.

I may not awake after dawn, but a least I go into my day knowing boring tasks like laundry, ironing, dusting, polishing, bill paying, uploading, food shopping, and household accounts are taken care off.

I go into my day ready to do the stuff that will further me as a human being safe in the knowledge that the time consuming dull stuff is done. Sounds so worthy - but to be honest there are 7 days in a week and I can get the dull stuff over in three. So what do I do most of the time?

Truthfully, most times, in those early hours I’m looking at Cepheus, listening to the silence of my snoozing kitten of a city, nursing a warming drink, feet up in the cool pre dawn air. But the best thing about being up during everyone elses snooze time, is to watch the dawn of a new day.

Technically speaking dawn is the time that marks the beginning of the twilight before sunrise. Suddenly you are aware of the presence of watery weak sunlight, even though the sun itself is still below the horizon. It is one of the most powerful times of day. In a world divided by what we choose to believe the belief that dawn banishes evil is common to us all. East or west we all have folklore saying spirits, zombies, ghosts, vampires, trolls, fairies and demons perish with the first light of dawn.

I have often wondered if the world sleeps at night because night time is troublesome. Things become distorted without light. Monsters that gather on hills become glades of trees when dawn arrives. Everything is manageable and less fearsome when that light that comes before even the sun has awoken arrives. No matter how long the night, the dawn will break, taking with it the shadows and all that seemed unknown, frightening even. It is a powerful experience to be there to welcome that fraction of time where by the light of dawn there enters increasing clarity on our world. I can think of nothing more refreshing than that moment.

I remember the Pulitzer Prize winning journalist Ellen Goodman once saying “Most people do not consider dawn to be an attractive experience - unless they are still up.”

Well said Mrs Goodman…well said.

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