FOREVER YOUNG
"When you discard the silly things you fret about, sooner or later you will discover that simple, childlike, and mysterious secret known to some: Life is Fun." My Dad on my birthday 1991
I have carried those words with me for the past 18 years. They were said to me as I sat on his sofa getting in a state about my approaching big birthday. I had just been chucked by my first serious boyfriend (why do guys always do that ...just before your birthday!) and really had begun to feel all my best years were behind me.
Of course that was so not the case, To come were some amazing adventures, some life affirming moments, some dazzlingly fascinating people and yes… quite a few more boyfriends!
There was nothing I could do to make that boyfriend want to be with me. He made other choices. I began to see that it was up to me to make some choices of my own. Raised by those words I got of the sofa, booked a flight and went to Vegas – on my own – and discovered the truth of what my Dad said… Life is Fun.
I’ve more or less been having fun ever since. My Dad was right, you can hold on to the things that you fret about if you want… or you can discard them.
As the last couple of decades have rolled by, it has come more and more to my attention that people seem to think that I have not aged appropriately. I’d ignore it if it were just my friends, but also I have been challenged for age proving I.D by venerable institutions – which seems bizarre given the rings on this particular tree! The last time I was thus challenged and showed the official my ID the next question was “So what have you had done?”
When I stopped laughing from shock, I repeated to the official my father’s words. If I look young for my age – it has to be that unlike most people my age I don’t spend huge swaths of it worrying. Yes frankly, I am yet to find anything more aging than fretting about things that you don’t control and can’t change the outcome of.
Now I have no criticism per say to those who go under the surgeon’s life to ‘turn back the clock’. It does seem that the entire nation is concerned with lines on their faces. For many facial peeling (ripping of the top layer of skin to reveal the ‘younger’ skin beneath, has become as much a lunch time procedure as manicures once were. Already a popular surgery in the
This is not to say that I do not get concerned about things. I do. I get concerned, then I figure out the things I can fix or amend -and get on with it. But I can’t see the practicality in worrying. All it does it make you feel bad and to honest if it is something I can do bugger all about, I simply go do something more fun instead.
Now I know some would say that having their faces ‘done’ is their version of fixing a concern, but I beg to differ. Rather than invest in a cosmetic approach – please note cosmetic actually means skin deep only – I’d rather just keep the one important thing you learnt when you were young with you… always. Life. Is. Fun. I have found that once I appreciated that … the rewards were endless.
One of the rewards of course is that you exude the ‘life is fun’ barrier that stops free radicals attacking your skin. Which is why people who appreciate that life is supposed to be fun, age slower than those who worry.
Honestly this is not rubbish! It’s science! The scientific equation is that something that produces x can under natural conditions perpetuate x.
Therefore as children discover early on that life is fun and small stuff is not to be fretted about, they produce what is known as “A youthful glow”. It is only when they start fretting about small stuff that they start to age – sometimes whilst still in biologically youthful years. Science has shown us that those who hold on to their youthful glow (sometimes well into adulthood) have also held onto the childlike belief that life is fun and living life should be embraced.
Here is a list of things that every time you do them have the following biological reactions. For each one your skins radiance will dull 1%, fine wrinkles will increase 8%, skin discolouration (or age spots) will be triggered, the size of pores will increase by 7.3%, and once firm skin will begin to sag:
- Disguise your jealousy of the young by saying they are not as great as your generation were when you were young
- Saying the reason why you never tried something is because you know you won’t like it
- Say there are no lyrics that matter in any song written after your 24th birthday
- Hate on principle any movie remake of any film that was out ‘in your day’, even if the remake is vastly superior
- Fantasise that you really could go out all night and get a taxi home for the cost of what ever the smallest note in the realm is today but present it as a fact
- Refuse to embrace your age and shop at youth shops because you feel ‘you still got it’ despite the fact you look like mutton dressed as lamb
- Wear the haircut from your youth and claim “it’s all coming back” even though you have no idea what styles are in or out currently
- Obsess about the value of your property/ getting back on the property ladder
- Feel that what you do for a living defines you as a person
- Blame everything that goes wrong on “The Kids Of Today” rather than the issues or social conditions of today
- Insist that even an annual late night out (esp one that involves loud music and dancing) is your idea of hell and that you have a ritual bed time that must be observed always
- Say that the ugly item of clothing you bought was bought for comfort which enhances automatically its appeal
- Check the local free paper for the value of homes on your street, even though you are not intending to sell or move home
- Send people your child’s exam results and take credit for them as a reflection on you. (in fact all third party bragging)
- Wearing any form of open toed footwear when there was never a need to ventilate your feet
- Doing anything you do not actually like purely because you have been lead to believe it is age appropriate.
- Think that all that matters is behind you and not enjoy where you are now and where you are yet to be
It is widely believed that doing the things on the above list are ‘age appropriate’ once your youthful days are behind you. But with the end result of any of these things turning you into a wrinkled prune…WHY would anyone one do them. It’s not like doing any of them is actually FUN.
I am convinced people just do them because they feel they should. Because no one has shown them an alternative. Well this wouldn’t be JaxWorld if I didn’t step in to help.
So here’s my alternative list.
- Find at least one thing that today’s youth do well, then find a young person who is doing it and congratulate them
- Try something you have never had or done before – DAILY
- Google the lyrics to a song on the radio that you’d never heard before today – be prepared to be impressed
- Force yourself into the cinema or rental shop and get out the remake of an old classic, have popcorn and a hotdog when you watch it
- Have a night out on a small amount of money – it CAN still be done!
- There is no excuse to follow the aging journey one time rocker David Lee Roth took – but so many people think that is age the only way to go! It isn’t! Get a role model who can do it right… IE: Guys over 40… look at Brad Pitt, over 50 Chris Noth - Women over 40... look at
- Log onto VirtualHairCare.com… up load a photo of yourself and play around with all the styles of today – may pleasantly surprise you!
- Do a day’s charity work for homeless people – sounds awful but is actually GREAT fun. Contact John Bird, founder of the Big Issue. Then go home and enjoy WHAT you got rather than what it is worth
- Talk to a teenager. Most are very cool, motivated and will fill you with hope about the possibilities of the next generation. Also get to know their world... they have different challenges than we knew… maybe you can help instead of criticising.
- Get in there! Dig out your dancing shoes and stop worrying that you may get caught ‘dad dancing’. Stay up and watch the sunrise… and remember that each time it does there are endless possibilities in a new day.
- Clothes are an expression of you. Are you ugly? NO. So stop buying UGLY THINGS! Bag up all those ‘comfort clothes’ give them to a charity shop – and start again. Beautiful does not = uncomfortable!!!
- Check your local newspaper for something going on in your area and take the time to join in…even if it means taking a day off work. There are so many treasures right under our noses and we don’t take the time to see them. Change that.
- Challenge yourself. Learn something new or brush up on an old skill. Feel good that YOU achieved something for YOU. Then brag about it as much as you like!!!
- If it ain’t a hot day, if you aren’t going to somewhere indoors where your feet will bake… WHY are you wearing sandals? Put them away.
- Do it cause you WANT to. Do it cause it is what YOU should be doing. But don’t just do it cause the rings round the tree say it’s time. Remember this is YOUR life, individual means cut to fit YOU.
- Keep in mind that yesterday you tried everything including what you didn’t like, so that today you can just do the stuff you like… and tomorrow… you can do it again but better!
You see, my Dad not only saved my life after a big break up – he showed me how to be forever young. Not by cutting my body or injecting bacteria, but by remembering that childlike Joy of Life. Such knowledge has kissed smooth a brow that by now should have lined and has given me energy that by now should have been sapped.
And yes I still do old people things like saying ‘thank you driver’ loudly when the bus stops – and I have been known to stop suddenly in the street and ignore the chaos it causes.
But also I know I have life. That in itself is a reason for celebration; you just have to appreciate what you got. And for as long as I am able to get on one and push myself off… I will always go on the swings at the kids’ playground. I don’t care how old I am!!!
Nothing ages you faster than not living. You only get the ONE life, no receipt, no proof of purchase. You can’t take it back if you don’t like it. So have fun with it… I promise you’ll look all the better for it.
JaxWorld has been nominated for ‘Best Blog about Stuff’ in the Bloggers Choice Awards. If you enjoy this blog please vote for it using the following link:
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