BLOG 239: Things you never wanted!

"Sometimes the things you want the most don't happen and what you least expect happens." 

From the movie "Love and Other Drugs" spoken by the character Jamie Randell played by Jake Gyllenhaal  

When I was a kid growing up, I used to be fascinated with my parents welsh dresser. You know one of those weird bits of furniture where for some unknown reason adults take it upon themselves to display plates that no one is allowed to eat of and glasses that no one has permission to drink out of. It came with cupboards at the bottom that the 'real' stuff we really used were shoved into. I genuinely could not see the point of these items. To my childish brain... if you had something you used it. I certainly did not display my hornby trains on a shelf... they were for playing with! I used to spend a lot of time looking at the things on display on the dresser and wondering why on earth they bought them if they could never be used.

But they are a different generation so that's probaly what they do... collect crap and display it. To me it just seems daft to have a huge piece of furniture taking up floor space and doing nowt. Since leaving home at 18, I have comitted to buying things only with both function and form. Life is too short to be dusting ornamental squirrels for heaving sake!

This morning, I wandered down stairs to feed Skyla... (who has taken it upon herself to sit on my head until I get up... where do cats learn this stuff... is there a how to torment humans school they attend at Battersea before they are allowed to be adopted?)… anyhow, as I passed through my home I looked at items enroute and asked myself.. how the hell did I get THAT? 

Where on earth does some of this stuff come from??  

Now as the only breadwinner in the household for the past 9 years, there is no other person buying stuff... so it really has to be me... but honestly I genuinely have no recollection of buying most of it! 

*Why have I got two Indian elephants...one made of pewter and another of bronze? 

*Where on earth did a purple velour pen holder come from? 

*Can someone explain the bag of plastic diamonds from the Victoria and Albert museum? 

*Or the silver salt and pepper set that look like Egyptian cats and also a plastic set that seem to be replicas of the Homepride men? 

*The complete works of the Beatles in every format known to man (HOW>>> I am a Rolling Stones fan and have never purchased anything from the Liverpool moptop boyband!) 

*Oh … and a set of display only plates and some hand blown glasses too fragile to touch 

What the hell?? Have I become my parents without realising it? Am I seconds away from buying a welsh dresser?... GAH!!! But  I have to face facts...none of this stuff is used.. they just loll about on semi display.  And this is the stuff I just passed on the way to feed the cat! 

What if there is more??...  in less than 10 days I am embarking on a major redecorating binge. Obviously to have full access to the walls I am going to have to move a lot of stuff out... what on earth will I uncover then! 

Will I have to submit and go get a 'display cabinet'. Nooooooooooooooooooo! 

It is so bizarre. Before you leave home you swear you will have a super stylish 'bachelor/ bachelorette pad... all chrome, black leather and electronic gizmos. You swear you will live in a loft or converted warehouse. You swear you wil have a view of city lights, or riverside, or ocean. You just swear you'll do it better than your "Olds" and you'll be cool and clutter free. 

Then you grow up. 

So here I am... four bed semi in the suburbs, view of everyone else's four bed semi's out front and a view of my garden out back. Inside... there is a notable and  distinct lack of chrome, black leather and electronic gizmos. And worse of all... today in a brief wander to the cat bowl I discovered enuf stuff I never use to easily fill what ever the 21st century equivalent of a welsh dresser is. 

HOLY CRAP!! (quite literally) 

How did I end up being closer to replicating my parent lifestyle than carving out my own!!!!

I really meant to be a whole lot cooler than this.  

WHERE did it all go so wrong?

A literal laugh out loud and a choked back sob! 

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