BLOG 205: Cough! Cough!

“Thanks to nanny, I've got a deep understanding of legend.” Modest Mussorgsky

On the 31st of March 2012 the UK’s Central Office of Information closed forever. For over 60 years COI had the task of producing government information campaigns on issues that affected the lives of British citizens, from health and education to benefits, rights and welfare.  These information campaigns were often annoying and frequently intrusive, but the thinking behind them was that knowing something and doing it are quite distinct. And people need reminding.

But have no fear... because the COI has gone don’t think for a moment that public information campaigns will not continue. These are now in the hands of the Cabinet Office, who have been briefed to only blast us where essential. And so the latest government campaign is to remind the nation to beleaguer the already stretched National Health Service if we cough so much we forget we cough. Essential stuff apparently and despite the fact common sense tells you to shrug off these campaign messages... my word they are masters of making you believe you do so at your peril.

One of the key things about these public information campaigns is the sense of impending fatality they all carry. When I was a child there was a great campaign that put me off kites forever. I can just imagine the planning meeting “I got it!” says bespeckled government clone “Child playing with kite on glorious summer day, running through glorious English country side... straight into electricity pylon, volts pass through child’s body and he drops down dead while kite bobs up and down tangled in overhead cables”. “Yes!! Brilliant!!!” chorus other government clones “That’ll scare the bejaysus out of them”. Kite flying in the UK has never recovered from that campaign. We are NOT (at a least are no longer) a nation of kite flyers. However... accidential electrocution carries on much as before.

Okay not all these campaigns were counter productive... a boy helping his dad with the crossword filling in the boxes as I AM BEING BULLIED was powerful and I am sure opened dialogue channels, and yes, five fruit and veg daily was pretty successful also.

However, like most Britons, I spend an awful lot of time absorbing and rejecting the coddling of the powers that be. Aware that I am fortunate to live in a country that has free healthcare and education for all, so I do feel rather guilty when every time I am reminded by the government to look after either, I react like a child: “I’m too old to be told... I know best” I pout “Don’t tell me, I’ll figure it out for myself thank you – what a waste of public funds!”

Thing is as a nation we know that times are hard and the public purse is squeezed. Personally I am aware the NHS in particular is overstretched so I feel I really shouldn’t bother my doctor just because I saw an advert!  But that advert.... basically if you have a persistent cough and have got used to it.... YOU COULD BE DYING! A gently calm voice does add that it is more than likely nothing, but it highlights that sufferers of the symptoms should go to the docs... because you never know. Needless to say I have now convinced myself I am dying as I do cough at least daily. (Actually it has been noted that my cough seem to happen every time the ad comes on!) BUT thanks to that advert I can’t cough without wondering if I will ever see another birthday.

Conversely, I am not motivated enough to pick up the phone and make an appointment just because ‘nanny’ says so. But can I cough to clear my throat anymore?... NO.

Nanny is in my head.

It is a constant criticism of the UK by outsiders that we live in a ‘nanny state’. The image is of a populace of child-like persons being handheld through every area of their lives by an authoritive subsitute parent. "Unable to think for themselves, the state acts as a British nanny who knows best and firmly instructs them on what every course of action should be." Said one overseas newspaper recently. The unspoken criticism being that they (the outsiders) are perfectly capable of doing this for themselves, so why can’t we.

To be fair I just think they are miffed that they don’t have what we have. Unlike almost any other country in the world, Modern Britain has been structured around 2 basic tenants:

1.      An unhealthy populace cannot work

2.      An ill educated populace cannot work.

Modern British society is built around the equasion that more people who are healthy and educated= the more people who can work= the richer the nation will be. To make this happen, the populace contribute to a general pot, funds from which are set aside to ensure everyone is healthy and everyone can read, write and add up.  Since setting this up successive governments (since Labour sealed the deal in 1948) have done their best to dismantle the systems to save a quid or two, but in the main: the system remains.

And so it is that we Brits get blasts of official information about our health or education - just to ensure we are all on the same page. However, as I said in the opening of this article,these information campaigns are charectrised by frequently being annoying and intrusive. I kid you not, recently I have received information telling me to wash my hands after wiping my bum, and that my son should walk to our local school. Actually... we do both naturally, but need has little to do with the info blasts. You see, ‘nanny’ does love to communicate the perils of not doing as she deems I should! If she's not convincing me I am about to die from coughing, she's warning me to examine my poo and the perils of not following her hot tips on how to do a school packed lunch (probably hoping I’d remember to wash my hands after the poo and before the packed lunch...).

It can be a bit overwhelming having this hectoring voice reminding you of what is self evident daily! I am afraid that even though I appreciate the good intentions behind a lot of the public information - I have been guilty of just wishing Nanny would put a 'sock in it' and give us all a rest from being TOLD.

Well apparently there will now be a whole lot less of being told. The COI are no more and as their portfolio is now in the hands of the Cabinet Office (who quite frankly have far too many other more pressing jobs to think about) we certainly will all be hearing a lot less from Nanny going forward.

Be careful for what you wish... you just may get it they say.

As I have a feeling....

Actually it is more than a feeling.

I know The Moment.

And I mean the absolute the moment that anything (and I mean anything) goes wrong, I ...wisher for silence from the public information peeps... will be screeching like a banshee:

“WHAT do I pay my taxes for?! WHY didn’t anyone tell me?!!”

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